Bought a temp engagement ring?

Question

I've been a little on the curious side with this one. I am engaged to my fiance but he lives in another country, and he asked me to be his wife while visiting him one time but had no ring (he said he wanted to get one but has no means to do so right now- and I don't even want the engagement ring but if he happens to eventually get me one that's fine, I just love him and want to be his wife)
So while we're apart I feel strange being engaged with no ring... when I'm at work or out with friends I get people hitting on me or trying to "hook me up" with other guys and when I tell them I'm engaged to be married or spoken for/promised w/e u name it I say it, they just look at me and say 'where's your ring?' ... it's annoying
So, I went out and bought a fake cz ring to wear so that I atleast appear taken...
Anyone else do this before? I love him so much and I don't even want a ring, I just have this one until he gets his visa then we can get married..

binnkim:
no i'm not making him a citizen the way you're thinking, we have been in love for almost a year and engaged for 5 months now, he's coming here because we want to spend our lives together, not to be a citizen

svelte:
yes he gave me something the day i left at the airport, it was something that belonged to his father and his father gave to him and it's special to me and I wear it everyday as a symbol of his love for me.

ppl need to stop assuming things I don't have to tell you my life story.. We are in love and you can't put a price on that, having means for materials is not part of my life long dream to be happy with someone. I already have kids and I do take care of them and we will have our own one day too but it is very hard to find work in his country so you can't judge him for that... he did give me something, just not a ring and I don't want a ring.. once he tells me he's on the place it's going right in my jewelry box.. I will probably not even wear it half the time, just when I'm at work

OMG some of you are seriously retarted.. my question was not of my feelings for him... we have spent a LOT of time together and I've been to see him 5 different times already, we really love each other and I know he's not using me.. jeez you need to examine your own intentions here and not judge my situation... He really loves me but you can only see us together to really understand and belive that..

And another thing: I know he isn't doing this but if he wanted to screw me over it wouldn't work, he would be the one getting screwed because he wouldn't have anywhere to go and no money!

Ok, I don't really understand where you are going with these responses. Did you look at your fiances or husbands skeptically, when they proposed and say 'hey lets wait a year then ask me again see how I feel' i think not! We don't consider ourselves an online couple, just a couple thru a long distance relationship... it's not what you are all thinking, just because it's happened before, we've actually talked about it before how it happens all the time and everything and he has given me no reason to doubt his real love for me

To add further: While visiting him, I have met all of his family and friends and we all had a wonderful time together, we went on trips to the mountains, dinners, and just plain family gatherings and they all are wonderful people. I still talk to his friends on a regular basis as well.

I wasn't asking you for help, especially on my relationship.. I am 29 yrs old and I know what I want and I know how to trust myself and the guy who loves me. I was asking if anyone else had done the same thing as me, with the ring.. and I've decided not to wear it on my ring finger, just on my right hand because it's really pretty and kinda works as a promise ring

lydia:
I'm not embarrassed, I don't want an engagement ring and I already said I won't be wearing it all the time, he's in another country otherwise ppl would see us together and we can say 'we're engaged' but ppl keep trying to talk to me... ya know what.. nvm some ppl are way too judgemental to be answering on yahoo answers, and it's a shame when someone asked a simple question and gets to feel ganged up on... very sad..

Answer 1

Wearing a ring regardless of it being a "real" engagement ring will stop so many questions.

I would wear it on my ring finger and when he gives you the real ring or you put your wedding band on it, take if off.

Congrats on your engagement.

Answer 2

Well I'm not going to knock the fact that you haven't been together very long... I mean at least if he is taking you for a ride (and I hope he's not) he marrying into the country instead of sneaking in. But none the less on the subject at hand... I have a gorgeous engagement ring that I wear 24/7 and still get hit on.... sometimes it seems I get hit on even more than before the ring. But if people are annoying you with the where's the ring speech... I would have done the same thing. Just a forewarning though... it wont stop you from getting hit it... just this time they will all be scumballs hitting on you and knowing you have a ring on that finger.

Answer 3

This has bad news written all over it.
If he really loves you, he'd send you something...any little trinket to show you he cares. Surely the man knows how it looks to be engaged without a ring.

I am wondering if you should have even told anyone at this point. It is obvious that it does bother you that you don't have a ring or you wouldn't have gotten a fake one. You said he doesn't have the means to get you something? If he can't provide even a "symbol" of his love...no matter how inexpensive, I'd worry about his ability to provide for you later on.

Have you thought about a future...children??? They do happen to come along eventually you know. Will he have the means to care for them?

And he is getting a visa, eh? Sounds like he wants to marry you to get his citizenship and that's it.

Run like hell girl. This is not the guy of your dreams.
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BTW, I saw your response...thanks for adding it.
I hope what he gave you wasn't part of the game, to put stars in your eyes. Just be careful. You might not be playing the citizenship game but it doesn't mean he isn't. It's an age old scam. Don't rush into anything. If he's a con, he'll be so good it'll totally knock you off balance when you find out. If he's real, you'll find that out too, but not right away. Patience.
***Also, I saw what another poster mentioned and it made me think of something. Maybe tell him you want to wait a year and "live together" after he arrives, before getting married. Guage his reaction and don't waiver. If he starts pulling away from you, you just got your answer as to what he's really about.

Answer 4

I had to deal with the same thing. He was overseas so I didn't have a ring either and where he was from, both male and female get engagement rings and pick them out together. So it was 6 months later that we went and got our rings. Mine was a simple band with a small diamond. His was just the simple band. Both had inscriptions. I just kept telling people that he was from a different country and did things a little differently and that with or without a ring I was still engaged. No we are not together anymore. I am now engaged to another person.

Answer 5

I didn't take the time to read any of the answers you got, but from your edits I'm assuming people are being negative about your relationship. Well just ignore them. I met my fiance online about 9 months ago and we are engaged and getting married this winter in his country. I'm applying for a VISA to so he can come to America only because getting a job in his country is nearly impossible. Anytime someone is engaged to a person from another country most people tend to think the immigrant just wants to be a legal citizen of US when in lots of cases they would prefer to stay in their own country and it's just not possible so they make the sacrifice for the one they love and come here. I think since you're getting hit on that buying the ring is a good way to keep people away. You may even decide to keep it and have your fiance put it on your finger again when he gets here. Good luck with your paperwork, lucky me gets to start the process next January when I get back from Morocco where I am getting married.

Answer 6

Nothing wrong with not wearing a ring. Don't worry about what other people think. Shut them up by saying you think rings are a waste of money. Now, buying your own CZ to stop people from asking....not a horrible idea but again it comes down to caring about what other people think and it just doesn't matter.

Answer 7

my husband proposed without the ring. he had gone to the jewlers and they told him it wasn't ready, after they told him it would be ready for that day... he was going to wait, but as we were dancing, he just couldn't help it, he popped the question. we were at a fancy dinner with tons of our friends, and after he popped the question everyone was so excited and wanted to see the ring, when i didn't have one to show my friend billie came up and wrapped a short drinking straw around my finger and tied it off. haha it was bright red, and i'm sure it was used in her drink. but it was funny and cute, and is now tied around a stuffed dog my hubby bought me when we first started dating. in the end i got the rings he bought. but i rarely wear them, because i'm just not a jewlery person. the ring is not important, it's the love that you share. why not buy some hemp and find a beautiful bead to put on it, and tie it around her finger. it's not anything fancy, but if anyone says anything about it you can tell them, that the love you have for each other is not in any way measured by a karat.

Answer 8

You want to appear "taken"?

Well you are being taken....for a free ride into the country!

I am sorry you are so into this person but it really looks as fake as the ring you bought. Don't rush into things. If he comes over, don't get married right away. Spend time together and get to know him. He'll need to get a job and apply to have his visa extended after some time passes. If he's a deadbeat he won't get it extended and you'll see him for who he is. If you don't marry him right away and he throws a fit or starts pouting claiming you don't love him...clue in.

I guess what I'm saying is if you want to give him a chance, fine. But don't get married. Wait at least a year after he gets over here to see what happens. And for God's sake use protection!

Answer 9

my guy proposed with a fake one cause he didn't have the means to get a real one as well....absolutely no biggie, the important thing, like you said, is that you are engaged!
i think it's perfectly ok to do what you did with the cz ring, after all, women do this all the time who aren't even engaged just to keep guys from hitting on them. you could up the anty too and just buy a plain band so it looks like a wedding ring.
good luck girl!! and congrats!!!

Answer 10

We are getting married in October and have had a long engagement due to financial issues.......I didn't have a ring for almost a year and I wore another one in it's place for the same reasons.....it really didn't matter to me if I had an engagement ring.....it's the wedding band that's important.

Answer 11

hmmm well I have a similar sort of thing going on. Kindof? I'll just tell.

My ring was too small.. so I gave it to my fiance to have it altered.. its been taking a while so I put the promise ring he gave me on my finger. I did it to signify that we are engaged and to ward off the gross pervs who wanna hit on me. lol. It does work and I just explain that this is the promise ring.

SOO with your ring, you can do the same. Tell people its just a promise ring until he can finish the arrangements for your engagement ring. Some people are just so nosey and intrusive!!! Its none of their biz whether you have a blasted ring or not, but you know how folks can be. So ur ring is just a promise ring that holds its spot. :) It works for me hon.

CONGRATS TOO!!! THIS IS AMAZING.