my husband and i moved down to fl from mi about a year and a half ago to be closer to my family, they live less than a mile away, we have a two year old son who my parents absolutely adore, well ever since weve moved down here we spend practically every waking moment with my family, i love them and i know they love spending time with my son but i also feel like my husband, my son and i need to have our own family time, but if we dont go over to my parents they get really mad and ask why were trying to keep their grandson from them, we are thinking of moving about an hour away for a better job for myself, when i mentioned it to my mom she said , no i dont think so, im like ummm im an adult and i can do what i want and she told me wed discuss it later, i just dont know what to do, i love my family, i love being close with them but they are driving me crazy, and my husband is getting really fed up with the whole situation, how can i let them know we need our own life without hurting them?
2007-07-06 07:03:26 · 10 answers · asked by Jessica M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
let me add that before we moved down here i had been away from my entire family for three years, so at first i was just happy to be around my parents and my younger brothers.
2007-07-06 07:08:40 · update #1
It sounds like they are going to get upset no matter what you say or do. Bottom line you do what is best for your family. Let your parents know you love them and you will not keep there grandchild away from them, but you have your family to take care of as they did when you were with them as a child. It seems as if they are being a bit selfish.
2007-07-06 07:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, your big mistake was moving less than a mile from them. Sorry to say that, but, I can't say it any plainer. Second, you do what you have to do for your sanity. There is no discussion. Right now, MOM is playing the control card and has the sympathy card in her pocket. Let me ask this, How often did you see your parents BEFORE the move. The old "making up for lost time" is a real deal here. You have a choice, Your family or your husband.
and I noticed some wording, and I'm goin to bring it up. You said " I love being close with my family"... Close is good, but Distance can save marriages. You like "Being close to your family" otherwise you would not have moved so close. i don't think you saw the problem and i doubt that you would. If the 2 year old is no 1 grand child, you probably made a mistake by moving that close.
I going to suggest a compromise... Every other weekend you go over. If you want to set aside a "special night" for Mr./Miss 2 year old to spend the night with them, do it, but, you need to set it up now. Are feelings going to be hurt? Probably, but, they will get over it, but, you have to stand your ground. Translation: This is a battle you need to fight.
2007-07-06 07:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are u'r husbands parents, maybe u can use that as an example, they dont see u all the time and know u still love them. and u did kind of answer u'r own question im an adult and i can do what i want its hard for parents to let go but i think its time, besides an hour is not too far to drive.
good luck!
2007-07-06 07:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well set them down and tell them you want to start a family where you live on you own and like once a week have you son go to you parents house to play or something when you go and do something with you husbun they will love to have a day or a few hours to have fun with there grandson and they are just trying to help
2007-07-06 07:08:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only one way to handle this and that's telling them straight out what you've said here. if you keep letting them call the shots, nothing will change. no one wants to hurt their parent's feelings but they also have to realize that you're an adult with your own life to lead. besy of luck to you.
2007-07-06 07:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Classic case of mom trying to control adult child cause she can't let go. Let go for her. Move. I did and thank god. You will never be happy until mommy knows her place.
2007-07-06 07:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you need your space and that they are cruel to think that you would try and keep your son away from them. Everyone needs their own private time, including children. Tell them if they try that guilt trip again, you may have to be cruel to them.
2007-07-06 07:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must of stopped reading the book of life ... on page 77 it clearly explains that " everyone in life is issued a standard " CRAZY FAMILY OR FAMILY MEMEBER.
2007-07-06 07:19:59 · answer #8 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mile away???????? What were you thinking???????????
2007-07-06 07:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by Jam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him no how you feal
2007-07-06 07:05:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋