Okay, here's whats up. I met this guy last week named Eric, and we really seemed to hit it off, and we talked about it, and he is very focused on school(he is in his last year at a University), and career, he Dj's part-time at some local hot spots here in town. Well, there was this bartender at my fav. bar in town that had been eyeing me, and the same for me, and last night he was super huggy/kissy with me, and kept leaving his bar to come around when it would slow down. Well, I wasn't exactly the most sober person in the world, and I ended up sleeping with him. I woke up, and I felt like death. My heart just sunk in my chest, and I have been breaking down about it all day. I'm very honest, and cannot keep secrets. I told Eric that I messed with someone, and he is being super distant. What does this mean? I mean, he made it clear that he wanted to take things slow, and that he wanted to just get to know me more first, what do I do? What can I do to make this right? I feel horrible! :(
2007-07-06 07:02:53 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds to me like you've blown it with Eric - that's what heavy drinking gets ya! Ah, well, a lesson learnt . . .
2007-07-06 07:07:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm I'd say that's cheating. You were in the heat of the moment and something happened that wasn't supposed to happen. I've never cheated on any of my bf's. I've always been the one that was cheated on. It sucks. You shouldn't have done it. If I were Eric I wouldn't think twice about forgiving you. But that's just me. He might be a little bit more forgiving. But if you consider this situation between you and Eric. The two of you just met. So it's still very new, and you hadn't really declared any type of relationship, you're just friends and getting to know each other. He's probably just upset that you did that. He likes you and probably didn't think that would ever happen. You could take it slow, give him time. Talk to him. Tell him you know there isn't much you can say or do, what's done is done and you realize you were wrong in doing what you did. Tell him you like him, and only him. Even though it may sound cliche ... you did have alcohol in your system, alcohol tends to take over especially when you've consumed so much of it. I know because I have gotten so drunk I don't remember anything that happened the night before when I wake up. It happens. I'm sorry it happened to you...just don't let it happen again, or Eric won't be able to trust you.
Good luck!
2007-07-06 07:11:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it he wanted to take things slow to get to know you to make sure you are the person he wants as a girlfriend or possible future mate.
Sometimes when you are seeing someone, depending on how interested you are in them you show respect. If you slept with someone else while seeing Eric, it's obvious you were not too into him otherwise your interest would have not gone to the bartender.
At this point I don't think you can do much about fixing things with Eric. By his actions he probably does not feel like you two could be together.
But I always say the things that happen to us happen for a reason. Even the bad choices we make are there for a reason. Stop dwelling on how awful or guilty you feel. Let this be a lesson to you for your future relationships.
You have your whole life ahead of you, there will be plenty of opportunities for you to meet a nice guy where you will act different, just because you have learned from your mistakes. You life is filled of great and wonderful moments but you are faced with difficult and hard moments but it's up to you to turn those bad moments into possitive lectures.
Good luck!
2007-07-06 07:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not cheating considering that you guys were not together. However, that chance that he had for you is a lost hope, if he does decide to regain your trust again it will be a LONG time till that happens.
I have cheated before and my boyfriend gave me a chance, I am sure he wouldn't have done so if I had slept with the guy, however, it took a long time for him to regain my trust again. He still gets pretty picky about the guys I hang out with while I am in my hometown from college.
It feels bad, I know, I have been there, it sucks!!!! However, all you do is learn from this and go on with your life. You have to learn how to control things in your life. When chaos start to come down what will you do?
I think you just basically lost the best chance at a guy for a while, he seems determined and he is on the right track.
2007-07-06 09:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by The Coug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and Eric weren't together, but I would say that you blew anything that could possibly have happened sleeping with someone else. Drinking or not, you should have had some self control, but didn't. Grow up, learn from this and don't treat yourself or your body lightly. The man that does enter into a relationship with you, wants to know that you aren't going to pull down your panties for just anyone!
2007-07-06 07:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by onetreasuredpet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he prolly feels really bad cause the girl he wants to date just sleeped with someone else. he also mayb feels partly his fault because he didn't make a move quick enough. Just give him some time to relax than go up to him and tell him how sry you are and that you werent' in the right state of mind and say that if anything you can do to make it up to him you would. Than be like your sry and this is the only thing i can say the rest is on you. Walk away and hope for the best.
Make ur apologie meaningful
2007-07-06 07:10:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, Eric was giving you time and respect, taking it slow and waiting for a great night with you. You could not have done a worst thing to him. Eric is history in your life. Your lust won your mind, whic is OK, but not when Mr nice guy was there for the grabbing.
Maybe you shouldn't have told him, and hoped he never found out.
2007-07-06 07:08:53 · answer #7 · answered by Paul H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You f*cked up, he was probably more interested in getting to know you before he hopped in the sack with you, sounds to me he was a nice guy, at least the bartender got what he wanted and please ..dont use being drunk as an excuse,because it's not ,it's lame. I think Eric deserves better,ohh and the part about being very honest I think you proved your self wrong about that one.
2007-07-06 07:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by sweetness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this.... You should feel horrible! Yes that's cheating - I guy tells you to take it slow, because he thinks you might be the One! And what do you do - you go f***k with the first man who gives you The Eye! Excuse me but that is just being...
p.s. If you were drunk it still counts
2007-07-06 07:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by Stella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol is a truth serum. It brings out the 'REAL' in a person. If you know that Eric cares for you, then you should feel really, really, really bad. Don't blame your negative actions on alcohol. If you know you can't handle your liquor (and you can't), then DON'T DRINK!
Eric needs to keep it movin' because you're a cheater.
2007-07-06 07:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋