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i'm 17 years old and i have noticed how my mom is extremelly negative.. and feels unconfortable around anybody outside of the family. She goes out, and acts insecure. she has had three jobs allready and she always quits because "she doesn't lke the people there". She also complains that the people she works with push her around. (in all three jobs). I told her tahat i didn't like her hair color and that it was too reddish.. and she ent to the store today asking the lady to look for hair die that is not reddish. In her last job.. she used to come home saying that her friend wears black shoes.. therefore she needs to buy those because those are "appropiate for this job". In other words, she can;t decide for herself(maybe because she thinks that it will be a bad decision)... seriulsy,, her self esteemi s really low.

Whow do i help her? should i tel her that i hink that she has low self esteem (she acts like she doen't), or should i just elp her gain it back without letting her know.

2007-07-06 07:00:09 · 3 answers · asked by leoncita 2 in Health Mental Health

3 answers

Don't listen to anyone who advises prescription drugs as the answer, it just causes more problems. Your Mom is just lacking confidence and maturity both of which trigger low self esteem. You are a very loving and devoted child to be asking to help her without criticising her - kudos to you! I would let her know that you are aware of it - let her know that you hate to see her so uncomfortable with herself and remind her that you look up to her. She will most likely deny it, but it will sink in. She knows she is your example. You can remind her that life is short, shoes don't matter, hair doesn't matter, what matters is how you feel and the people you love. I think a support group might be great for her, and remind her that she will never find the "perfect " people, because perfect people don't exist. Encourage her to get out in the world and do things and her confidence will gradually return.

2007-07-06 07:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Its not entirely up to you. She should see a therapist. Only she can help herself. You can be supportive, but as a daughter thats really all you can do. Be careful to not let her get you down with the negativity.

2007-07-06 14:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by b 4 · 0 0

self esteem issues are the worst and its a lot to put on your shoulders at a time in your life when you are building on your own self esteem. your mom needs to see a therapist and maybe get on medication to treat social anxiety disorder. it kind of sounds like social anxiety disorder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

2007-07-06 14:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

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