To visit or not to visit?

Question

We recently moved into a house. We are friendly people and like to get to know our neighbors. We like to know the people around us just to make friends but it's also good to know the people around you in case there is ever a problem (on their end or yours). We've met the other neighbors and their really friendly.

We have tried to deliver banana bread to the single woman across the street on two separate occasions; both times she's been home but didn't come to the door. Today when I came home she stopped pulling her weeds and went inside. (May have been a coincidence but I'm guessing not.) Should I leave her alone and assume she doesn't want to meet us or should I try again?

Answer 1

I think you've done the best you can. In this case, it sounds like your neighbor likes her privacy and space...I am the same way, myself. For me, a wave and a quick 'hi' are the way to my good side. Something unobtrusive. When people show too much interest in me, I am immediately suspicious of their motives.

I think it's great that you are such a friendly neighbor. However, for some of us, we prefer to befriend people outside our neighborhood because we prefer our privacy. I personally don't think my neighbors owe me friendship or vice verse. If it happens it does...I'd prefer that it didn't!

Answer 2

I've had some very bad experiences with neighbors when I lived in a trailer park for many many years...so now I can't say that I'm all that neighborly anymore. Plus I highly value my privacy - my home is my HOME, and I choose who to see in it. And I agree with the answerer who said she may be shy - that also has been a problem I've had in the past. Not everyone wants to be neighborly or friendly, so be respectful and let her have her peace and privacy.

Answer 3

Just wave when you see her, but otherwise let her be. Some people prefer not to know their neighbors well and it's usually because of a bad experience they've had in the past. Being a single woman, she may find it safer not to socialize with her married neighbors.

Answer 4

I like the combination idea of leaving the bread with a kind note. Here's something you can write in the note: "Here is some banana bread laced with exlax. Its good you enjoy your home because you're going to be in it for awhile with the runs. We'd like to be on a good terms with you so perhaps you can borrow some toilet paper or hemmorridal cream from us--you're going to need it". You should toss any Christmas cookies she brings to you thereafter though.

Answer 5

It appears she prefers to stay to herself. If you want to make a final gesture, leave some bread for her at the door. (make sure to wrap it well, so insects don't get in it). If she does not respond to that, then you know she just does not want to be involved with neighbors - not everybody does.

Answer 6

Sounds like your neighbor is fearful. I think I would try and leave her a friendly note instead. Even if she is afraid to talk to people, she would probably appreciate your kind sentiments.

Answer 7

Leave the bananna bread on the steps with a note attached saying who you are and what house you live in and then leave her alone. It will then be up to her to come and visit you. if she doesnt oh well let her be miserable.

Answer 8

IMO why bother if she keeps running away?

Let her come to you and say hi on her own time.

She may be very introverted and just not used to strangers and talking with them.

Let her get used to seeing you. Wave hi when you see her and do not go in her direction if she waves back.

Answer 9

Leave her alone.....or get to know her through your other neighbors. She might be shy or just doesn't like strangers in general.

Answer 10

I think she wants to be left alone. She might be shy, or reclusive or just not receptive at this time. Just be nice when you see her, give her a wave and a smile.