friendly neighbor?

Question

I have a question about etiquette. I am new to my suburb, a few months, and I have a neighbor. Actual, a couple. This man and woman walk their dog when I walk mine.

The first time I saw them, my dog started sniffing theirs. The husband of the duo spoke to me, and we exchanged pleasantries and were on our way. The second time I saw them, I was walking my dog towards my house and he made a strange comment about me 'running away'. I realized then that they were indeed neighbors from a few houses down.

Now whenever I see them, he always makes a point to say hello and stare into my eyes. I don't say anything back, I merely smile. Something about him bothers me. Yet he continually says hello. Yesterday he said hello again, almost like a bark. I don't know why he's wasting his time.

Do I owe him a hello? Even though I feel weird about it?

I have always felt that if a man were a real gentleman, he wouldn't try to be so pushy with a married woman...especially with his wife right there. Who looks none too thrilled when he talks to me.

Also, who is giving all of the thumbs down to people sharing their ideas? It's only an opinion! Thumbs down takes all the fun out of answering questions. I want answers; if you want to penalize people go ask your own questions and do it there.

Answer 1

I don't know that you owe him a hello. But would it hurt to speak and keep walking? He is obviously getting a kick out of your reaction to him. Change your reaction and you may change his behavior. If that doesn't work, could you possibly change the time you walk your dog? I assume they are not sitting by the window watching for you to come out of your house. Maybe if you change your time, you won't run into them. If you don't see them they will not bother you. I hope this helps. This is my way of answering.

Answer 2

He is obviously making you uncomfortable, and you probably are wise to feel leary of him. Someone I k now had a similar situation. It started out that way and developed into the neighbor spying through the windows. He would wait until he saw her husband leave and then come over to her house. He was obsessed with the kids as well and they couldn't let them play outside in the back yard anymore. He was a real creep and would absolutely not respect any boundaries. They had to move after less than a year, and it was their dream home, too. It would be difficult to say anything at this point, but I would at least mention your husband alot so that he gets a clue that you are happy with your marriage. As far as saying anything, that is difficult. If he has technically done nothing wrong, what could you possibly say? Maybe you could just stay cautious and continue not being too friendly on your part.

Answer 3

It would be rude to not return a "hello" given that he hasn't done anything.

Just hello and move on. Or a little wave, or "hi" or whatever.

If you don't want to engage in further conversation, don't.

Um, the thumbs are there for people to express agreement or disagreement with answers.

People are clicking them to show that.

I don't see why you're getting all upset.

Are you thinking that the thumbs are the same as reporting abuse? They aren't.

If you look in Help, you'll see that the thumbs are just there for people to weigh in on various answers.

You can pay attention to the numbers in the thumbs, or ignore them.

To see answers that are hidden by thumbs down, either click Show for each, or choose All Answers from the menu next to the word "show".

Answer 4

Yes, say hello to him that is quit normal and polite. Even making eye contact is polite. You don't have to have a conversation with him. If you don't say hello or good morning you come across rude and as having no manners. Especially if you moved to a suburb, where everybody knows everybody.

Answer 5

hmm...he's obviously trying to be friendly, however, if you're getting a strange vibe, I'd listen to your intuition that something else besides friendship might be on his mind. I had a similar experience and in that case, the couple were swingers and they wanted to hook up with my husband and me....we were not into it! So, I suggest you just wave and smile and keep moving. If he says, hey why are you running away, just say...oh, I'm just so swamped, I've gotta finish the work I brought home....oh, and would you look at the time!....gotta run, bye!

Answer 6

i think its neighbor friendly to say hi how are you. nothing more or less. u dont want to come off as rude or cold but if you over indulge his conversations you might cause tensions with his wife. i suggest keeping it at a friendly hello and carry on about your business.

Answer 7

maybe not a hello but just a smile like you are doing... but not a 'your weird smile' just a friendly neighbor smile.... you dont really have to say hello.... you not saying hi will eventually get the point across that its awkward and you really dont care to talk to them

Answer 8

Making eye contact is respectful. Does he look like he is ogling you? Not enough detail I guess. I would think "innocent until proven guilty". Maybe he is just a nice guy. It is always good to have your guard up though, you never know these days

Answer 9

I think it's incredibly rude not to reply to his hello. Even if you don't like the guy, you should still be polite to him. Besides--if he's a loose cannon, your refusing to speak to him could be the straw that broke the camel's back and could send him off the deep end.

Answer 10

That's a tough one. It doesn't sound like he's doing anything specific to unnerve you but I generally think it's wise to trust your instincts.

You don't really -owe- him a hello, and if it bothers you to say "hello" to him I wouldn't do it.