I haven't seen my parents since my wedding, 3 years ago, and just because they insisted. This comes from my teen years. I made mistakes, went trough a somewhat troubled phase and they were too harsh. I messed up but was a good girl.I got a severe punishment, and despite my sincere apologies and promises to chanhe they didn't forgive. I suffered terribly, cause I lost their trust, begged them to trust me again but they said tears and promises weren't enough, I'd have to earn it back. This let me devastated, could never understand how they could be so cruel. It took time to regan their trust and when I did I was so resentful that couldn't see tham as aparents anymore. I got over, found people who trusted and helped me through those terrible days. I even made my parents proud, but we never made up, though they tried. Now, I'm 25, graduated in Biology, married and will be a mom in 1 month. My parents want to come but I dont want to, they will bring sad memories, will reopen wounds.
2007-07-06
04:40:58
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13 answers
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asked by
Rose
1
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Family
You sound very selfish.
It would be a great time to mend old wounds, not pour salt in them by denying your child's grandparents a chance to see their grandchild.
Or, do you intend for this conflict to go on forever?
2007-07-06 04:46:28
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answer #1
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answered by Char 7
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im so sorry you had to go through that but that was the past you cant keep holding a grudge what would you do if you found out your parents died and you never had a chance to clear everything out you will feel guilty and what about when your kid grows up their gonna wonder where their grandparents are you may think not but they do i havent seen my grandparents and i wonder everyday dont make you kid go through that i think you should put things behind you and forgive them your grown now your no longer a teen they only did that to you so that you would learn to be a better person when you grow up and it has and you proved it by gaining their trust again which is a really hard thing to do they gave you a second chance so why not give them a second chance??? hope you take my advice you will thank me for it in the long run good luck
2007-07-06 04:59:24
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answer #2
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answered by l3l31801 2
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It's pretty sad that a few stupid mistakes made while you were a teenager would destroy your relationship with your parents forever. Every teenager makes a stupid mistake and loses their parents' trust at some point. What makes you think their punishment was so horrible? It straightened you out, didn't it? You regained their trust, didn't you? They love you, and you obviously love them too, or you wouldn't be worried about "reopening wounds". Leave the past in the past, grow up, and stop resenting your parents for BEING parents.
2007-07-06 04:58:04
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Harboring this resentment and bitterness all these years has not helped heal those old wounds. How long do you want to carry them around before you can forgive your parents for what went on in the past? Why not think of today and live in the present?
I would suggest you get counseling to help you deal with these old issues so your life can move forward.
As far as rights - no, they have no legal right to see your child.
2007-07-06 04:47:40
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answer #4
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answered by Stefka 5
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I can understand this situtation all to well! I understand your feelings completely but I also know that your child deserves grandparents.Notice I said the child deserves not your parents deserve because this is earned not owed! But do not deny your child grandparents. This does not mean overnight visits or things like that. I am referring to a so called supervised visitation. The reason I say this is two reasons
1. The child cannot come back later with you never allowed me to know them etc.
2. depending on the state you are in they can file for grandparents visitation
Congrats on becoming a mother and good luck.
2007-07-06 06:34:27
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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I don't think they have any legal right. But, don't you think this is a great moment to make up with thm, forget about the past, starta a new relationship now based on love and trust? After all, they are your parents, wil you deprive your baby from the love of his or her grandparents?
I won't judge you, your parents probably made mistakes, maybe they didn't handle the situation wel, but they did what they thought was best for you, even if it wasn't. Just forgive them, today you're a successful young woman, and in past this was because of them. Be a big person, forgive them, now it's a great moment for trust, love and forgiveness!
2007-07-06 04:50:23
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answer #6
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answered by Steiner 7
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hmmm... they have no legal rights, and you have to do what you feel is best for you and your child. Can you really be an awesome mom to your kid with your parents critiquing your every move, and also throwing the same sort of harsh judgements around as they did with you? I have experienced something similar with my mom... see same ol story disfunctional family, mom and dad not happy dad hangs out a lot mom is under stress, i, the oldest child, ended up being mom to my younger sisters and my mothers emotional support. When i dared to lean away from that she flipped out on me, when i grew up and could no longer be controlled she flipped out on me, when i made choices on my own, healthy ones lol not crazy shi* she flipped! I am very damaged by some of the stuff that happened in my childhood. I have tried, as you have, to work things out with my mom but she is a bitter vindictive woman and is not easy to talk to. Actually I would get better results talking to a wall... I know that when I have children, my mother will have limited access to them. They'll not be permitted to spend nights or be with her alone... I dont want MY children to go through the same shi* i did!!! I wont let her do that to them, say negative shi* to them like she did to me etc. That is my choice. I go through periods where I dont want to talk with her or interact with her it just hurts too much.
I completely understand, you want your childs birth to be a happy time! and it damn well should be, you know best how your family situation is. You know what emotions it will evoke within you and if you honestly feel it would be best that they not be in attendence, dont allow them to be. I'm not trying to sound cruel, but I understand exactly what you are feeling and thinking about and why. I wish the best for you hon.
2007-07-06 05:06:01
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Don't you want your child to have grandparents?
Stop thinking of yourself...you need to do whats right for the baby.
If you can't get over your past then maybe it would be good to see a therapist.
2007-07-06 10:16:21
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answer #8
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answered by sarita0611 2
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In some states there is a law called grandparents rights law. They would have to take you to court in order to get rights to their grandchild.
I would put the past in the past and start fresh with your baby and your parents.
2007-07-06 04:55:41
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answer #9
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answered by g8bell 2
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2016-11-08 07:57:53
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answer #10
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answered by ? 4
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