i was married to a very short man against my wish 10 years ago.i was not sure wether i led life with him or not and neither had the courage to divorce in this dilemma i aborted the pregnencies.after one year i any how get adjusted,began to love him & try to conceive by taking medicines but failed and again tentions began .after every fight we get separated for months and years.
now also we are living separately since two years.my father is forcing me to take any decision.sometime i agreed to go back but the next moment reverse my decision.this alternate thoughts came when i live with him also.some times i feel hatered towards him ,having sex with him also causes me crazy but some times iam o.k. usually when i think of early marri days i get confused( sex out of force with out my will because i hated my husband physical appearence)
now also iam confused wether to remain with him or not .sometimes it seems easy the other time it seems unbearable. i want to live with him but afraid .
2007-07-06 04:30:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think, from your description, you don't like your husband and are fighting with him because of his appearance. Unless he is abusing you physically, or through mean conversations, I don't think that you should hate him. My main advice on your problem is to remember this sentence: "Do not judge a book by its cover." In other words, even if the book's appearance is ugly, torned and ripped, the content inside of the book could be very great. Same with your husband: His appearance might be bad, but his heart and his mind and his love towards you might be great. Before you start to leave from him, or go to abort when you are pregnant, just think about these questions:
1. has he ever abused you, physically or through conversations?
2. Has he ever acted like he doesn't like you?
3. Is his inside nice than you think?
If the answers to all of these questions are yes, then you should stay. If there is atleast one no in any of the questions, talk with him about it. If he refuses to talk, talk with your closest friend, or family and talk with your frend/family, and your husband together. I'm sure this will help. Hope your problems will be over.
2007-07-06 05:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jyothi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, 10 years is a long time. From your story it seems like there were more negatives and you weren't happy. A forceful relationship never works because then someone else has control over your life. Look back at those 10 years, make a list of positives and negatives in your relationship and than a list of what you wanted in your relationship, what kind of a person will make you happy, what are the issues that you can live with and issues that you can't live with. If your relationship didn't offer what you expected, then why would you want to get in it again??? You wasted years, now it's your choice, looking for a partner whom you are compatible with or living with the person whom u have no feelings for. Analyze your past and go for the life you wanted. It's your life and no one knows it better than you how you want to live your life and what makes you happy. Follow your dreams and goals. Even if it doesn't come true, at least you say you tried. You don't know what you can achieve unless you try and determine to keep trying until you are successful.
2007-07-06 05:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by pk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it incredibly is a hated way wherein u entered ur marriage existence; yet it is so uncomplicated in India with lot of ladies being forced too. i do no longer assume ur husband would ever recognize ur subject for he's himself an epitome of such forced marriages. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that, u can not take a seat with ur palms tucked waiting for issues to take place. U could first attempt to become slightly financially self holding, i.e, if u r no longer already. next step would be to think of no count if u r waiting to barter with ur husband, or u elect to circulate 2 an more advantageous existence. From this variety of informn. dat u provided, it form of feels not often achievable dat u will ever cope up. So extra beneficial call the photos & walk off collectively as u have time. yet yeah ! funds may be the 1st subject 2 resolve.
2016-09-29 04:54:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry God is great he will lookafter the things,do one thing in the early hours of morning sit on a mat comfortably keep the body straight close ur eyes and ask ur mind for solvation of problem(ask only once)then keep the mind on ur breathing system silently.
2007-07-07 01:12:39 · answer #4 · answered by bapiraju k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop doing what every one tells you, and do what you know is right for you. Time to grow up and take responsibility for your own actions. Life is too short to spend so much time with someone you hate, someone who obviously does not treat you with respect. You need to let this man go, get on with your own life. Tell your father to take a hike, and be responsible for yourself.
2007-07-06 04:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought of talking to a Therapist? A therapist can help you work through some of these issues. I know seeing a therapist has really benefited myself and my development as a person and as a therapist.
2007-07-06 04:34:28 · answer #6 · answered by ஜSnazzlefrazzஜ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are allowing someone to rule your life, are you able to make decisions on your own, join a support group for depression and see a therapist.
2007-07-06 04:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by fran j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am more than sure you are an arab woman,these things happen in our countries,i feel your suffering,i wish i can help.the decision you must make,do not forget how people treat a divorced woman in our beloved countries.i pray for you ,may God bless you & help you
2007-07-09 21:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by jammal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋