How do you deal with a death in the family?

Question

My father passed away a year ago and I am still having problems dealing with everyday life. The world keeps going but not me. I am so depressed. I was working full time and going to school full time and under so much stress that I could no longer take work so I just didn't show up for it one day, and So i got fired. I am living with a family member but all she does is yell at me and tell me that I am lazy and worthless. I can't find a job and I am so depressed I do not know what to do. I don't have any money or health insurance so i stay in bed all day. I was normal until my dad passed away. How do I get back on my feet.
what is the point of living. I have nothing to look forward to. I am in a deep black hole. I need help. but i don't know how to get it.

Answer 1

just deal with it
u cant bring a dead person alive again

Answer 2

Your pain is so understandable and I am sure that with everything that is positive in your life, comes tumbling down when you think about your dad. Grief is an important process when someone experiences death so make sure that you are truly grieving so that you can try to move on. Don't think about tomorrow, or next week. Think about the moment. You have to get out of your house somehow and do something positive in your grief. Perhaps plant a flower/plant bed in your yard in your father's memory.Do something uplifting in your father's memory. Visit a nursing home. Hey, why not clean your family member's home and thank her for being there for you. YOU cook a healthy meal in your father's memory. Yes, it is okay to grieve but you can't do it and disrespect other's at the same time. You are not working so get your butt out of bed and wash your sheets, take a shower and show your family member some respect. Everything that I suggested will be useless if you do not get out of bed.

Answer 3

Obviously your father meant a great deal to you. Is this how he would want you to live? Is this how you choose to honor his memory, his dreams for you?
I myself lost my father almost 27 years ago when I was quite young. I also went through a period of depression and yes I was very angry. My anger was directed at God not my father, I know in my heart that my dad did not want to die, however this is not a choice that we make. And I am thankful that God didnt hold it against me the anger I had for him, instead I feel that he allowed me the time to figure out that this is just life. People are born, live and die, some sooner than others. However the important things are in the inbetweens in how we relate to each other, what we learn from each other and how we choose to honor those who have gone on. Honor your father by living a full rich beautiful life. I am sure that was his dream.
If your a person of faith, talk to a religious leader, talk to your local mental health center, you could be benefit from a support group.

Answer 4

first off-im so sorry to hear about your dad passing. my father passed away two years ago and im still dealing with it to this day...its tough.

my suggestion is to talk with some of your family members. they know what you are going through. as for the family member that you are living w/...tell her how you are feeling. she probably is just taking her own issues out on you.

there are places that you can go to for help. i know that many doctors are hesitent to take anyone in therapy that dont have insurance coverage but many (like at my clinic) will work with a client at a reduced charge or payment plans.

also, not sure if you are religious but you could always talk to your church and see if there is anyone to talk to there, just to vent and whatnot.

hang in there, it does get better over time, but the first step is seeking help...professional or otherwise. good luck hun!

Answer 5

people deal in grief in there own way. If it has been a year since your dad passed away and you are still having trouble see if your area has a free mental health clinic and go and talk to someone or if you attend church or have a friend who attends church go and talk to the pastor. The loss of a parent can be hard but just remeber that you will always have your memories of your dad and nobody can ever take that away from you and think of the good times that you and your dad shared. My heart and prayers go out to you. Good luck.

Answer 6

Grief is a difficult thing to deal with. Some people have a much more difficult time than others. You should seek professional help, maybe antidepressants may work for you. The loss of a loved one is something you may have to deal with on a daily basis. There should be a free mental health clinic in your community, they assist with counseling and medications. It would be in your best interest to seek this assistance before you loose more in your life. Good luck. 2D

Answer 7

Let me first say, I'm not a spiritual or religious man.

My father died when I was 15 years old. On top of being a great father, he was my best friend. When he passed away my world we flipped around and a part of me died. I didn't think I'd ever get through it.

But then I realized... if my father is watching me, it would kill him to know that his death is hurting me. He'd want me to be strong, and carry on. So I use his death as inspiration. When I feel like I'm going to cave and crumble, I remember that if he's looking down on me, nothing would make him more proud than to know that I've found strength and persevered through the most difficult time of my life.

Parents want nothing more than their children to be happy. Give him that and make him proud.

Answer 8

I guess you need to ask yourself if this is how your father would want you to be. Obviously he meant a great deal to you. Would he be proud of you now? Consider that your mourning is natural, but this is going on too long and you seem to be using it as an excuse to avoid living. Ask yourself, what would your father have done in the same situation....do you think he would have folded and given up on living? No? Then how can you do less than what he would have done? Time to be your dad's living legacy and get on with life, don't you think? It is your choice.

Answer 9

You do seem to be in a deep black hole. You need hope, and that is something God provides. Find the phone number to your local Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses and request a bible study. Knowing what the future holds provides real comfort and gives us a reason to live even when we've lost so much. Please read the article regarding grief to which I've provide a link and consider the scriptures. I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 10

What my mom did when my grandma died is she took depression pills and got over it. She got a job and now has three kids. Just ignore the person your living with. If that doesn't work, see a counsler. But most importantly, pray.

Answer 11

Anniversaries of the death is a very difficult time, join a grieving group to help you.