We have always been a very close family, even with the inlaws.
However, my sister and brother in law have always been very anal about their stuff-Cars, homes, clothes etc. Currently, I am building a house, and need a place to stay for 2 weeks, and my brother in law has treated me so bad now, I don't feel comfortable staying there. He basically doesn't want me stay. It is very hurtful to me because they have stayed with me for 6 months when their house was build, and with my parents for 5 months when they were awaiting their first house. He told my sister that I don't live the lifestyle they live, and may leave cups around his house. (Please). My house is neat and clean, but I am just not as particular as them. Also they have taken care of our 84 old mother while I had my house on the market. They both agree to this, but I know they are not use to having anyone in their 6,000 sq ft house but them. I don't know how to interact with him anymore. After this, my tolerance is gone.
2007-07-06 03:58:03 · 8 answers · asked by jr 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's never easy when dealing with anal people and especially when they are now apart of the family. There's not really much you can do, you can avoid them. They're not going to change, my snobby relatives won't. I just limit the time I spend around them, they do have a tendency to look down there noses and say rude things, but I can be mean too. Just stand up for yourself and id they talk down on you, don't go into your shell, do it right back. I'm sure you know a dozen things that are wrong with them in general, use it to your advantage.
You might want to think about going to a hotel though the next couple of weeks
2007-07-06 04:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by I'm Here 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine had a similar problem when her parents were building their new house and they had to live with her grandparents. Her younger sister is the biggest "pig" I've ever seen and would just leave things everywhere and it drove her grandparents insane. Every time I went over to visit my friend, her grandmother was yelling about something her sister had destroyed/made a mess of. (Not saying that you are though, but the situation is similar, the grandmother liked things a certain way and the younger sister was messy and it caused friction between everyone).
Try sitting down with your brother-in-law and sister, and asking them what you can do to help them be more at ease with you being there, since you were kind enough to allow them into your house when they needed a place to stay.
"Is there any particular way I should do ________, so you won't feel as though I'm making a mess or creating a problem for either one of you?"
If they say there's nothing you can do, but still act as though you're "in the way" maybe you could look into staying at someone else's house...possibly your parents or a close friend or another relative? I hope you're able to make things work out to everyone's advantage.
2007-07-06 04:13:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not give in to them!! If you allow it to happen now they will never stop trying to have their way about every decision you make. Good job to your fiance for standing up to them and telling it it was his decision and he has chosen his best friend. Your brother and his wife are making selfish, absurd demands on you and your fiance's special day and are out of their mind. No one walks down the aisle except for you and your bridesmaids until the recessional after the ceremony and even then spouses aren't included at all, just the wedding party. If his parents are seriously going ot miss their son's wedding over something so petty and immature, that is on them and they will regret it. I am curious though, did his brother and his wife have a wedding when they got married or did they jsut elope? If they eloped they might be jealous of the attention you two are getting and want a moment to shine. Either way, this is you and your fiance's day and not theirs, so they can either grow up and realize this is not about them and come as guests, or they can miss out and regret it later. Good luck and stick to your guns. Remember, you choose the wedding party not anyone else.
2016-05-19 22:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may just be a matter of, as you said, they're not used to having anyone else in their house. It's hard to know that someone is overly cautious about doing for you when you've done for them in the past. However, it is their house and if you stay there you have to respect their ways of doing things. I assume that you've been to visit before and have not left rings on the furniture from wet glasses, etc.
Try talking to your sister to see if you have her support. If so, maybe swallow your pride and deal with your brother-in-law for 2 weeks until your house is finished. If she's not supportive, you may want to look for alternative accomodations. If you haven't already done so, you may want to have a direct conversation with your brother-in-law to address his concerns and reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. He obviously has some trust issues and this may be a good way for him to overcome them.
2007-07-06 04:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't seem fair, but the truth is, just because your brother stayed in your home and your parents' home, doesn't mean he has to open the door to you.
and i'd feel put out if i were in your situation, too. your brother is likely missing a lot in life since he is so busy cleaning and making sure he has a perfect car and his perfect house in his perfect little world.
some people don't know how to relax and enjoy, nor have the ability to share or give. and we have to accept them at face value, and try to go on with our lives.
i'm glad you are building a new house, and you're very fortunate for that! it's great for you! congratulations on your new home, and i certainly hope you enjoy it for many years to come.
2007-07-06 04:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your sister - see what else is going on - maybe he is not comfortable with people staying at their house - you said he was anal - maybe he has OCD.
2007-07-06 04:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it only for two weeks right, stay in a hotel & from now on, cut all ties with them, & don't ever talk to them again, i can't beleive you sister & bro-i-l when you needed them the most they turn their back on you, i say don't even let them in your house from now on what a jerks
2007-07-06 04:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a motel room.
2007-07-06 04:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by ~*:•JENN•:*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋