Do you believe that our children should be treated like "young adults"?

Question

I have heard it stated that we "train" our children, as we do our pets. I would like everyones thoughts on this.

Thanks In Advance....
Blessings To All
)o(
Trinity

Answer 1

There is a time and place for everything. I believe that you can teach them respect, honor, and the value of work. But you should also let a child enjoy his adolescence. I use to hate it when my parents would tell me to act my age. My thoughts at the time were always "I am acting as a seven year old should act." What they should have said is "act 4 times your age." My point is, if you can teach your kid good morales and allow him to still be a kid, he will grow up to be a better adult.

Answer 2

No. Children should be allowed to be children. They will have plenty of time to be adults, once they are grown.

I do not understand how the "young adults" part is related to "training".

In a certain sense, children need to be trained like pets, as in going potty in the toilet, not on the floor, etc. but they should always be treated with respect (one would hope that pets are treated with respect also).

After a certain age, children have the ability to understand more abstractly, and therefore can be taught instead of trained.

However, there is usually a certain amount of behavioral training in any learning process; as in, to learn to write, one must learn how to hold a pencil.

Answer 3

ADDED TO: -C

Teach and train are related but to use "train" when speaking of a human child is a bit gauche.

We teach habits such as cleaning up a spill or removing refuse or picking up/ straightening up after a task and in a child's case toys after play.

This is ingrained by adults as a habit and example is part of the teaching.

Teaching habits may be called training.

But teaching is all the whys and wherefores. Why we pick up and why we take out and cover the trash. and why, why, why......

Patience is a virtue with all the whys. Sometimes it may seem endless but the brain of a child needs to be filled and not with an example of frustration and anger.

These are the "ifs" - if we do and if we don't do a particular thing in such a way. Adults teach these!, because a child needs to learn a pattern of thinking to learn how to reach conclusions.

Once a person learns and understands a certain amount then they can begin to apply outcome and reasons on their own.

Once a child becomes a young adult they have the tools and teaching to be accountable for action or lack of action.

The age of accountability can vary a great deal from individual to individual. Adults can no longer plead ignorance of law because they have learned enough to reach conclusions and outcomes.

No children should not be treated as small adults in the areas particularly of understanding, ability, and responsibility.

These are yet unlearned and a child may not yet recognize situations and things as such. If we treat a child as an adult then we place them in a "lose" situation. We are setting them up for failure and "I'm a failure thinking" for life.

Children are in early development stages in every area.
It is a great responsibility on the part of adults for the care and teaching of little ones.

A child should be given respect and love as we would an adult but it also takes a great deal of patience at times to be a parent or adult example.

Many adults choose to try to be the healthiest example of an adult a child may ever see.

It is one of the most wondrous and special things a person can be granted - the gift of having a child or children to raise or teach.

It is a big responsibility for it is much more than food, clothes, and shelter.

Answer 4

The only "training" children get from their parents is potty trained and how to talk. after that the child learns by observation mostly up until they are about 10 years old. After that the child tries these values out to see if they work for them. as a result parents who set a "good" example generally have children who become "responsible" young adults and adults. Parents who are do as I say not as I do lose the respect of their children and question them constantly and in general not as a rule become less than positive parents themselves. Young adults are just that and as such are generally treated in accordance with the amount of maturity they have attained.

Answer 5

Treat them with the respect of an adult, but don't expect them to BE adults.

Don't treat children as if they are stupid, but remember that they are not mature enough to understand all of the things you tell them. Patience, and communication are important, but so is consistancy and guidance.

The single-most mistaken adults make with children is not respecting them enough to explain something.

For example, If you tell your five year old not to touch the stove, they might ask why. If they don't, it might be because you haven't explained in the past and so they don't see what the big deal is and will find out the hard way. Take this scenerio into the teenage years and there isn't much difference other than how much you might have to explain.

Even toddlers can reason with the information you give them. If they understand that you HAVE a reason, and you explain the consequences of an action and why you are limiting that action, they are more likely to listen, and respect you.

Answer 6

It all depends on the age. Children simply do not have the same reasoning capabilities, experience or physical abilities that adults have, thus in many instances, we do "train" our young ones like we do our pets. But as they grow and develop physically, so too does their intellect and their ability to learn and reason at a higher level.

So, yes, you need to "train" your 2 year old to use her spoon; you need to "train" your 3 year old how to use the toilet. But your 5 year old is able to learn to read, your 7 year old will see cause and effect, your tween will be concerned about justice.

By their teens, children are physically and mentally, young adults and should be treated as such. They're ready for more freedom AND more responsibility; however, they do still need rules and guidance.

Answer 7

Pets and children are on a different level. I think children should be taught respect and how to act certain ways when they are places. But at home they dont have to sit there with their hands in their laps being good 24/7. Thats when they can act like kids. I also think that kids deserve tons of respect.
You train a dog and that dog will stay the same way until the day he/she dies. It will do the same thing everyday, eat at the same time, go to the bathroom at the same time. All of that. With kids though they change as they get older. They will make bad mistakes but thats a part of growing up and learning.

Answer 8

Not children...NOoooOOOoo! They're spoiled enough already. If they mind you well while they are preteens then I would say to "train" them while they are teenagers....perfect timing because they are about ready to go into the world, gain more independence and have the greater capacity for being treated like an adult...for example they will understand things better than a child and they will be more capable for making informed decisions. Treating a child like an adult will force the kid to grow up too fast or it will completely destroy your authority as an adult...a very bad decision...When they are young, you have to remain an authority figure...not a friend and not someone treating them as if they are in equal decision making power. Giving a kid that much decision making ability is a bad idea for such a young age.

Answer 9

Children aren't young adults and shouldn't be treated as such. They don't have either the experience or judgment to make certain decisions. Would you leave a five year old playing alone near a busy street? No, because the child doesn't understand how dangerous it is. That's an extreme example but it can be generalized.

Also, children aren't pets. For pets you set rules and maintain those rules. They don't make decisions and they don't get an opinion. But children have to be taught differently. Young children get limited say in how things are done, such as choosing what they wear to bed. As they get older they are allowed more choices that are appropriate for their age and decision making skills until, hopefully, they will be ready to make decisions on their own. Pets are exercises in training behavior. Children are exercises in training for decision making and social skills. You have to give them more latitude and sometime you have to let them make what you know will be a painful mistake.

Answer 10

No not like young adults... but I don't like the "train" term either.

I think we should love, respect, parent, and teach our children (most days in that order). I also hate baby talk... so spoken to like a normal person - yes. Truly treated like a "young adult" at 4 yrs old - absolutely not.

I hear parents use their title as just that a title. It's also a verb that too many parents don't act out. The verb part is defined as "to nurture and raise" well to me this nurture and raising means to love, respect, teach, model good behavior, create reasonable and respectful boundries, discipline, and a whole lot of other stuff which my 4 yr old would include for me to play Candyland with her for the 5th time before 9am today.

In some ways you could draw a common thread between parenting and animal training. I house broke my dog and I taught my daughter to use the potty. I try not to use the word "potty training," but that is what I did. I think the difference is the level of respect and love with which I did it. Not to mention that she is my child, not the dog I bought from an ad in the newspaper for $100.