In two months time we will be moving together. That will be a big adjustment for me as I will need to move to another country where he now lives and works. That is why it is so important for me to know.
I have talked to him about that. He said that he will not deny me the chance to have a baby (he has 2 kids from his previous marriage).But he said that not right now. On one occasion when he saw that I was a bit reluctant on using the condom he said: you don't want a little thing in there”. Also mentioned the fact that his kids might think he has replaced them. Asked me if I would insist on getting married once we had a baby. So he is maybe suggesting that he doesn't want that any more? On the other hand he said he does want a family with me. That he feels very comfortable with the fact that I will be moving with him which did not happen when his ex wife moved in. I must also add that he loves me very much and I love him. Our relationship is perfect but I really need an advice on this
2007-07-05 22:32:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Thank you all for your answers. Thought I add more details just in case that makes a difference. I said that our relationship is "perfect" because we are best friends first of all. We really love and support each other in all aspects. Now...I know how this sounds. And I am sure of it. The baby thing is the only thing I am not sure about. I should also mention that he is the one that brings up the subject not me. That is why it is confusing. He will meet my parents very soon and I will meet his. He always tells me how committed he is to me and our relationship. And he proves it. Am I seeing things wrong here? Freedom, if you are reading, we will only be staying in that country for 3mths and then 3 years somewhere else. But the country I reside in right now is Romania. So...if you want to get in touch send me an e-mail
2007-07-05 23:32:48 · update #1
OK here is my opinion. You need to have a talk with him seriously explanining to him you want kids and not having them is not an option and see what he says. As for your moving he is right about this, moving to another country is hard, so very hard I would not suggest getting pregnant for at least 6 months to a year depending on what country, their healthcare, the language ect... I just recently moved to Romania from the states and I am an emotional basketcase. It is tiring, emotional and lonely even with a spouse. I have my in-laws here as well but the fact is I left MY family and MY friends back home. You need to get through the stress of your new country first before getting pregnant. You'll only stress yoursself out more because a baby won't be your friend. A baby won't help your being lonely. You need to learn the language, how to drive and shop we well. Plus you want the oppertunity to make friends, go out, look pretty. A woman who has just had a baby more often then not looks and feels like crap. Your not going to want to get out and make friends. You'll be tired and quite possibly depressed because depression tend to happen when you move to another country add to that a new baby and I think you make be taking on more than you can handle....wait then when things are easier, consider a baby. I would also research your new country and look for American Expat groups to join. That may help some. Find out what foods and food products you cannot get there and find a way around that. for example if they don't sell biscuit mix and you LOVE buscuits for breakfast you need to learn how to make them from sctrach. Google "before you know it language" they have a free program for most languges that we used. Knowing your numbers will help and their money. I know you may feel secure in the fact he is with you but truthfully he will work and have a live, you will have to do things like shop and drive alone. Better to know how to say "where is the milk" as soon as possible. Read up on culture shock that too will help. Good Luck....
2007-07-05 22:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by Petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound to me like he doesnt want another child right now. If you get pregnant before hes ready to be a father to another child might add some tension to your relationship. My husband is ready to have another child, but i am not ready to have a second one and I tense up any time it gets mentioned.
Having a baby is probably the biggest decision a person can make. And being pressured to have a child when your not ready is not fun at all. I say wait until he is ready. Your perfect relationship will no longer be perfect if you dont respect his decision when it comes to something like that.
2007-07-06 08:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by Catelyn O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your partner dose not wants a baby beacause allready he have two baby from his previous marrige.
2007-07-06 05:45:50 · answer #3 · answered by Rajesh K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell, don't you have things backwards? If this guy loved you, he would want to marry you then have kids. Marriage first, then kids, unless you are prepared to raise them by yourself!
2007-07-06 05:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by sbyldy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he doesn't want to buy the cow cause he is getting the milk for free.
2007-07-06 05:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Charmed One♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋