End it, or keep on going...?

Question

I’m 16 and a couple days ago I went out with a guy I’ve known since I was little, who is now 19. We just reconnected. Our families are part of the same circle of friends. I had a nice time with him and at the end of our date he gave me a peck (this being my first kiss). It was pretty obvious we liked each other, and a couple days later we went out again. By the end of the “date” we had made out watching a movie. However, that night, the more I kissed him, the less affectionate I felt. After he had left, I didn’t even know if I like him or not. He’s been texting me since and wanting to hang out. I never really wanted a “boyfriend” because I’m a good student who puts school before anything else. My main concern is getting distracted, which I already am. I don’t want to hurt him because he’s really nice, but I just want to remain friends, or maybe even friends with benefits. I still don’t know if I like him or not, and he’s waiting to hear back about another date. What should I do??

Answer 1

Honesty is always the best policy. I think you should not only worry about him getting hurt but watch out for you getting hurt as well. He can also go to prison for statutory rape if sexual relations happen.

Answer 2

Hi!!! I happened to read your problem. To be honest at 16, I can very well understand your pressures. Every person who you talk to will have a different opinion to give. Sometimes you need to sit back and talk to yourself and weigh your options.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer yourself honestly. Forget what your Friends, Parents or this Guy will think.
1. Is this love or actually an infatuation?
2. If its love do you think, is it needed in your life at this point?
3. If its infatuation, then just talk to this guy and explain it in a polite manner.
4. What are your priorities in Life and where does this guy fit in?

Sometimes some people are just a road block in your success, some are a disturbance and some are helpful. You decide for yourself where this guy fits in.

Bottom line as a guy to a girl never ever do what you don't like or not comfortable with. You have the right and the choice to say Yes and No when it matters.

Remember its your life, mistakes will always happen but sometimes you learn from them and sometimes you can just prevent it.

Regards
Sajid Khan

Answer 3

you can't fake chemistry. If you aren't feeling the sparks, chances are that you either
a. don't really feel that way about him, or
b. you just aren't ready yet for a relationship, or
c. all of the above.

I once went out with a fella that I just adored, he was handsome, he treated me with respect, and his mom just loved me (which was awesome!). We liked to do all the same things, and we truly had fun together.... BUT... I felt absolutely no affection, no chemistry, in response to him. I let it go too far until one night he was trying to make out w/me and I was trying to get away, and he told me he loved me. At that point I just broke down and told him the truth, that I didn't feel that way about him and that I needed to move on. I ended up hurting him and losing out on a great friendship.

Don't let it go too far. If you don't have feelings for him, don't let it continue. You will only end up making things worse. I wish I could have felt something for "R", because he was so perfect for me in so many ways... but sometimes you just have to trust your heart and not your head.

Answer 4

I think maybe your affection for him changed, once you realized you could really have him, but you don't want to affect your studies. First you should see if you really aren't attracted to him, or if its just the worrying thats in the way.

If you realize that you defiantly don't feel affectionate towards him, and you want to just be friends, try to ease out of dating regularly. Maybe not so much affection when you go out, and don't make dates to close together...spread them out. He should get the point

Answer 5

dont do the friends with benefits thing, its a good way of catching the most common STD's, maybe you were just not in the mood at the time when you were making out, it happens. try one more date only if you want it to work out , but your only 16, so who cares

Answer 6

You realized that he was not the right guy for you. Just tell him that you really enjoyed yourself, but right now you are not ready for a boyfriend. Tell him that if he wants to date as friends, you would like to do that, but you don't want to lose focus becasue your future is very important to you.

Answer 7

End it....your already thinking this...it won't get better. And you said this was your first kiss....you don't need to worry about keeping him as a friend with benefits.....

Answer 8

I would end it now, your families are friends...so if you got into a relationship and it went bad that would just be akward b/c you would probably still have to see him b/c of your families.

Answer 9

Tell him how you feel. Just be kind, honest and sincere........the fact that you still want to be friends........is great. Tell him that you don't want anything to come between your long friendship. The friends with benefits thing............that's just sex. Not smart!
Good luck

Answer 10

well sounds like your having a good time with him
but your concerned about yourself and grades or w/e
so i guess u can just continue
but if he takes it to quick and rushes to sex
dumb that crazy basterd
((that would mean he is using you))

if he hurts you or attacks you
just tell your circle of friends