its been 3 1/2 years, why do still think about my ex-gf? help?

Question

So its been 3 1/2 years, we had a great relationship but we were young, she was 19, i was 21, so it didnt last, this is the only girl i "loved" , we tried to live together, of course it didnt work. So i decided once i got over her I was moving because it is in my best interest, and I have to beautiful and sunny phoenix, where a young handsome successful lad like myself has lots of fun and I like being single. I thought ive been over her for years, but I still think about her, in all different ways, even sexually still, wierd i know. I even sent her out here once after a couple years and it didnt do anything for me, but for some reason i still think about her, I think the cure for this is that I need to stop fooling around and try the girlfriend thing out for a while. my mind is just playin games with me, maybe establish a new relationship to get passed thinking about her, anybody agree?? or do you think its the opposite, maybe i still love her?? maybe i just miss how comfortable it was

Answer 1

Just try to remember why it didn't work out in the first place.

Answer 2

It is quite natural that that is happening to you. Specially if you haven't found someone new and gone through the same as with your ex. I think that even if you do find someone an love again, you will still find yourself thinking of your ex sometimes. There is that possibility that you still love her but there's really no gauge in determining that because it's natural for guys to fantasize about past flames even if you are happily engaged in another relationship. The best way to answer if you are still in love with her is when you find someone new that you truly love but you always compare her to your ex. then that might be a sign but it's still not accurate. I know I might be giving you foul advise by telling you to see her again, have sex and see how you will feel afterwards.. Maybe then you'll know if you really love her or it's just lust and comfort. It's still up to you how to find out.

Answer 3

It is probably a combination of both. However, the love probably faded long ago since you did not try harder to talk to her earlier. Just think about how you would feel if you actually were able to talk to her like you used to? If you could put aside all that happened before and get back together, would you be able to feel that same love? Also, think about the reason why the two of your broke up in the first place.

Answer 4

it sounds like you still love her!
maybe she still loves you?
talk to her about this situation. i mean it's 3 1/2 years later so you're both more grown up.
if she feels the same way about you, get together again and if not then move on and go with someone else.

Answer 5

yes u still love her and yes u like how comfy it is....haha stole that from that girl anyways...umm i guess u should establish a new relationship find a girl that is wayyyyyy better than her...easy and simple sorta...

Answer 6

OMG. US StILL LOVE HER.!!or maybe well u never forget a love.but still i think u love her and well if a guy came back to me and explained how he felt i would think it was so sweet.

Answer 7

you cannot just stop thinking about someone unless you didnt really love the person

Answer 8

I agree with Peggy S.... you should talk to her about this. Besides you- she is the only other one who knows as much about the situation as you do.

Answer 9

you still think about her because u still love her. give her a call talk to her and tell her how u feel.

Answer 10

You never forget your first love.