My sister inlaw dumped off her children in my house, originally she told us, the children with be here only for the weekend, so I gladly invited them to come to stay, because I thought their parents will be staying too, at least that's what she said.
On the same day after their arrival, she and her husband droved off, and left the children with us. Didn't leave them any food, money, and we called her asking her when she'll be picking them up, she said she would like them to stay for the entire summer vacation. This is so crazy! I know she doesn't have money to sent them off to summer school, but to pull a trick like that on us is unthinkable, what are we going to do?
We're not their parents they don't listen to our rules, they're on our computer 24/7, downloading games and has no homework to do? How can we get their parents to pick them up? They're our relatives, so should we have any say in this?
2007-07-05 16:37:27 · 29 answers · asked by 結縁 Heemei 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
Except their house is 5 hours away
2007-07-05 16:44:16 · update #1
They're 14, 8 years old boys, plus I have a 1 year old child.
2007-07-05 17:08:56 · update #2
Honey, it's WORTH the 5 hour drive to drop off these kids in their rightful place....at THEIR home. I can't believe the NERVE of your sister-in-law! That is the rudest, tackiest thing I've ever heard of!! I feel sorry for the kids really - to think your parents can't stand you so much that they'd trick their relatives into taking you for the summer? That's gotta hurt! Still, don't have freakin' kids if you don't want to take care of them!! They are THEIR responsibility and not YOURS.
2007-07-06 07:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is sad, I feel sorry for those children. Just call their parents back and say that you have plans this weekend and they need to come pick them up. Tell them you didn't want to say anything before, but that you are having some money troubles and can't afford to feed the extra mouths this summer. If they say no, I'd call the police and tell them that they dropped off their kids and refused to pick them up. Then, the parents will have no choice but to pick them up or the state will find another place for them to stay. You are being too nice about it. Family or not, you just can't do that. If I were you, I'd try to be as nice to the kids as possible, what if that were your parents? They probably would rather be out having fun with their friends instead of sitting on your computer. But, don't house those children for the summer. They aren't your responsibility, and tell your in-laws that.
2007-07-06 00:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by Pregnant with Baby #2 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Um. First of all, hide the keyboard or the power cord on your computer. If they want to entertain themselves, make them go outside and play or something. If they want to use the computer, set up a rewards system, like: Do the dishes, earn 1/2 an hour computer time. Set down some rules, and make the best of the immediate situation. Make peace with the boys. This isn't their fault. Also, if you trust the 14 year old, you have a built-in babysitter for your little one. Then, work on your sister-in-law. At least get some money out of her. the nerve of her dumping her kids on you like that!
2007-07-06 03:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is difficult. I do not think you should worry about their feelings, they did not think of yours nor the children. If the children are old enough to get on the computer they most likely have a better idea than any one what their parents are up to. I would call the parent and tell them that the children must be picked up by a certian date or you will seek legal counsel for child support.
I would also tell them once burnt twice shy, and that future visits will be banned unless you go to their home.
The advice to call the law or social services may not be as helpful as it was intended, most states do not consider it neglect if the children are left with competent adults. Do not leave them on the lawn, or buy them a bus ticket then you will be at risk for child endangerment.
2007-07-05 23:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by itchianna 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Contact Child Services in your area or the local police. But be prepared that the children could be placed in temporary foster care.
If you do not follow through with some type of consequence however, the parents may do this again in the future.
Some people may tell you to "think of the kids" and don't call Child Services. But the truth is that if one of those children gets hurt or sick, you are responsible for them but will not have any "legal" right to make decisions on their behalf. If their parents have just abandoned them, you need to get help for everyone, including yourselves - especially to be able to get the children medical care, etc.
Good luck to you.
2007-07-06 11:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by BPD Wife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine doing something like this to anyone let alone a family member. Did you tell her how you felt about this? Is your husband as upset about this as you are? Personally I would pack the kids up and drive the 5 hours to drop them back off. It sounds like they are horrible parents and it might do good to call social services on them. Sounds like these kids need a little help and could benifit from some of your parenting. Dont blame the kids for horrible parenting,
2007-07-06 04:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too terribly harsh. It wasn't right for her to abandon them by any means. But remember that the kids probably didn't ask for their parents to ditch them for the summer. They may just be acting out because they are feeling unwanted. I think you should keep all reciepts and a running tab of what you spend on her children as far as food and clothing and things go. Don't forget to factor in some utilities and cost of child care. Then give her a call with your figure so far and let her know that not only is she expected to re-emburse, but it is to be done immediately or you will take her to small claims court. But I don't think that you should make it a public seen.. you don't want to make the kids feel like their parents ditched and their relatives don't want them.
2007-07-06 00:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by Amy A 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It may sound cruel but call Social Services or the Police and have your sister-in-law cited for child abandonment. Social Services may put the children in foster care, or help you financially to keep them with you. Besides, you are the adult you can lay down the law that as long as they are in your home they will abide by your rules. Put the rules in writing someplace where they will be seen and spell out the consequences when they are broken and stick to it. It can be very trying but when parents don't care about their children they shouldn't have had children in the first place.
I'm a mom of 2 young adults and came from a large family and my mom fostered 2 of my brother's nieces who were quite difficult. Stick to your guns and your nieces and nephews will respect you for it, even if it doesn't seem that way now
2007-07-05 23:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
You do have a say in this because they livin in your house, eating up your food and spending all of your money. Drop them on their parents' doorsteps and when someone opens the door say "We're just here to bring home the kids!!!" Then drive off. My sister dropped her two kids by me for one day. One day turned into three and I have my own kids to take care of. So i packed those kids in my car n dropped them right back to their rightful owner's house. If you don't say something about it now its gonna become a habit and you'll start seeing them kids every xmas summer and spring break.
2007-07-06 14:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, that sucks!!! What kind of family just dumps their kids off at a relatives house like that? I say ship them off to military school without telling the parents. They were trying to get rid of them anyway!! In the meantime i would ground the boys from the computer or something. Just be more strict.
Ta Ta for now
~*Monica Brown*~
2007-07-06 12:32:06 · answer #10 · answered by Monica B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋