what's the best way to spank kids? why don't more people do it?

Question

Do you think kids who don't get spanked grow up to be good or bad people?

Answer 1

I don't think there is a good/bad. It depends on the kid. I think what DOES make kids into bad people is lack of discipline and/or love in the home. And I think the reason why people don't spank their kids as much anymore is because they are worried that someone will call them in for abuse.

Answer 2

I feel that spanking kids only distracts from what the problem is. In the real world kids are not going to be spanked for what they do when they become adults. Children need to know how to problem solve and violence isn't the answer. Teaching them to be responsible for their actions is a great thing and there should be consequences. Make sure they know what they did wrong and what they can do differently so it doesn't happen again. Make sure you tell your children what the steps are that will be taken when things go around. Give them ideas on what happens when you don't listen. No television time, time in their room, no friends coming over or any other choices other then spanking. Treat your children how they deserve to be treated. I find it to be true that children that are spanked can grow up and their lives can be changed because of these spankings. It certainly doesn't leave a great imprint as far as their parents are concerned. Children can have a tendency to spank when they have children if they are being spanked to. No parent wants to be remembered as the one that spanked their child. Ask some friends that were spanked by their parents and you will see how tragic it was for them.

Answer 3

We use time outs, but once in a while, we swat on the bottom to drive home a point, especially when someone could get hurt. We NEVER spank more than three times as a rule and we distinguish between hitting and spanking. We don't hit in our house. Our children know the difference. My parents used time outs, lectures, and spanking and we all (4) turned out to be happy, well-adjusted adults with good careers and loving families. As a side note, my daughter says, "that hurt" after a spanking and I respond, "well, it wasn't suppose to feel good."

Answer 4

most likely kids who never get spanked but punished in other ways grow up to be good people. if any kid is going to grow up "Bad" it will be most likely the one who was spanked. and you know there are always those kids in school who hit other kids and cause fights....these kids were probably hit when they did something wrong, or something there parent didn't like, this teaches then that hitting is the way to deal with a situation that you didn't like.
violence isn't the answer and it only causes kids to rebel more, taking away privileges is much more powerful than a spank. not being able to watch TV or go outside and play are good examples, then the next time your child does something wrong they'll probably think twice weather they want to pay for the consequences

Answer 5

I think that the way a person turns out has more to do with the other things parents do surrounding (or in lieu of) the spanking than the spanking itself. Life is more than just about whether you got hit or not.

Speaking as one of the people who don't spank, all I can tell you is that I've never had to hit my kid to get her to listen to me, and although I know she is afraid to disappoint me, I intend to ensure that sh will never need to be afraid that I will hurt her. For that reason, I choose to come up with non-physical punishments, natural consequences, and other lessons to help her learn what I am trying to teach her. I can't say whether this is why all the non-spankers don't spank, but it's why I don't.

Answer 6

The best way to spank kids? Bare flat hand, Bare tush
Then again I don't know why your asking, since you seem to be on the "anti-spanking" side of this issue.

Spanking, or not spanking isn't solely going to determine what makes a good or bad person. I think what does is LOTS OF LOVE, FIRM BOUNDARIES, and STRICT CONSEQUENCES for our girls that does include an occasional spanking.

Answer 7

Kids who arent disciplined grow up thinking they can do whatever they want and get away with it. Spanking and hitting are two completely different things. If it leaves a mark for more than a few minutes that's not right and can be considered abuse.But spanking isn't bad, as long as you're not doing it out of anger, and are trying to raise your child to know the difference between right and wrong. Spanking doesn't produce violence it gets the kids to stop disobeying and learn to respect their elders! Remember you the parent are in charge, not the kid don't let them get the upper hand just because you fear it may hurt them "mentally" because trust me, it won't.

Answer 8

It depends on what they are allowed to get away with. I was spanked and turned out fine, but it rarely happened. I know others that were spanked more often and are spending time in prison. Emotional abuse can do even more damage to a child's self-esteem than an occasional spanking. There are ways to get kids to behave without beating them physically and/or emotionally.

Answer 9

I was spanked as a child and I think helped me much more than a Nanny911 timeout on the "naughty chair"... Basically, I think that children that are spanked grow up to have much more respect for their parents and a much better sense of what's right and wrong. (Right- comfy butt. Wrong- stinging butt.) Name me one reason why spanking your child is wrong that does not have to do with the fact that your child's butt is going to sting for ten and a half seconds... I mean, please- what kid is afraid of being "grounded"... Grounding doesn't hurt them at all. I'm not scared at all of being grounded. So I have to stay in the house for a week... Woo-hoo. But a spanking?? I was scared to death.

Answer 10

I have nefews and nieces that were not spanked as kids and none of them finished school. There parents always had trouble with them. They have grown up now, in there 20's, but still have trouble with respect. If I would have even thought about quiting school I knew my Dad would kill me "with his hands". Would I have had this fear without being spanked, no way. Restriction yea right.

Answer 11

A spanking, I think is an important part of raising a child. A spanking is a few firm whacks to the butt. It stings but does not hurt the child. NEVER spank a child when you are angry. Spanking is a tool that teaches a child what is wrong, dangerous or inappropriate. You cannot reason with a toddler or very young child, they have not yet developed the ability to think about other peoples feeling to an extent that reasoning might weigh on their actions next time, but I guarantee they will remember how that spanking feels.

Oh and as a side note, spanking a child in an appropriate manner will not make them grow up to be bad people as others have answered. I myself was punished with spankings. And I have grown up to be a nice and very considerate person. I don't get in fights. I have never been arrested I have a 3.6 GPA in college, I've held steady jobs since I was 16.5yrs old(and have never been fired) and I have been dating the same girl for 4.5 years whom I love and respect completely. I didn't become mean and bitter, and I love my parents, because, looking back, I understand why they hit me. I attribute their methods of parenting to my being a normal well adjusted adult.