I have kind of a silly relationship problem well not so silly to me..but to yall..help!?

Question

OK so me and this guy (we're kind of complicated) basically we've been dating six months and i started liking him years ago so we got really reallllly deep for..oh four months and then we had spring break..he came back and told me his feelings had changed and there was someone else (that someone else now has a different boyfriend) he told me a month later he wanted me back and i took him back because i was a wreck without him...he's my best friend...and so for about two months we've gotten deeper and deeper and..deeper ha but he went on vacation for the past two weeks and now says...his feelings have changed and...yup you guessed it..there's someone else! we are rediculously close and i can't imagine my life without him...he "still cares about me" and wants to still be close friends...i do too...but the pain is killing me and i don't know if i can handle just being his friend...but i also can't imagine my life without him...what should i do?!?!

Answer 1

You sound like you're more infatuated with him than anything. I had a huge crush or infatuation with this guy for about 7 years. He was a complete jerk to me all the time, not outright but infront of his friends and other people. Well, as time past we finally wound up getting together and after a while I realized, Oh my God! Why did I like this guys so much? He was nothing special just a punk who didn't want me when I was younger but only when I was old enough to.....you know. One of the biggest mistakes ever. If this guy can't stay commited to you just imagine what life woulf be like if you ever married him? With the history you have continuing to repeat itself you'd probably constantly be worried about him going anywhere with women (work, the beach, out with friends) he is a cheater plain and simple. If he's going out on vacations or whatever and coming back and dumping you for other chicks there is something going on behind the scenes. He doesn't sound like a very good friend either. It is proven that after a woman has sex with a man emotions will develop and make things very painful in this area. We can't help it. That's how we are programmed. I think you need to start looking at the reality of things. First of all, he is USING you. 2. He's dumped you for another chick twice! 3. He has done both of these things after being alone on a vacation therefore can't be trusted 4. He comes back after thing don't work out (rebound) 5. He doesn't Love you or he would NOT do this to you. I only say this because he keeps hurting you and you still think you are in love with him. A bit of reality needs to be looked at and accepted here. You need to focus on these things as reasons why you should not be with this person. You need to focus on these things so you can move on. If you do not, you will be hurt by him again and again; he's already proved that. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him that you are not a light switch, you can't just be turned off and on when he feels the need (which is how he's treating you) You should tell him how you feel and be firm. You should let him know what a good woman he's missed out on because of his behavior and you wish you could stay friends but you can't continue to let yourself be hurt. Don't however, focus on these things mentioned above so much that you start hating him. Just look at the facts of the person he is until you feel good enough about your decision and can move on. Trust me, I have done this and it's hard at first but in the end you will feel so much better and later on you will realize what a good decision you have made. It was super hard for me because it was my first Love I had to do that with, but I look back now and am soooo glad I let go and moved on. I don't regret it one little bit. I am now happily married (it's been 4 yeas) with a 3 year old son. It gets easier over time. I hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 2

well, he's definitely keeping his "options open" no matter how much he loves you. And i believe you are worth more than that. I mean do you look for another guys when you're with him? Does not sound like it, so why should you be with someone who "cares" about you but still keeps his eye out for someone else. I think he's not treating you right, and no matter how painful it is, you should find someone else. If this is his second time doing that, then trust me he will never change. How could he treat you like that? Plus he probably feels that you really love him and will take him back no matter what, so he takes advantage of that. Say goodbye to him hun, you're worth more than that. Give your lovin to someone who appreciates it. Good luck.

Answer 3

If a man is so intend to be with a lover on ther outside of the relationship,he needs to get his priority right before you ened up on the side of the road someday alone and no one around a mna that is not honest of himself is not honest with you. help urself get out more often see other people make newer friends.
remember its not too late to be friends but to come back into a relationship in my opinion is there fore the not right think to head out for. HAve faith inurself dont let a man run you down so much

Answer 4

This is a vicious cycle that will continue, trust me, I've had a very similar experience. To him, you are a great person to have a relationship with when other people he are interested in are unavaialbe, but as soon as he finds someone he is interested in, he drops you. This will only continue, save yourself the future heartache (which will only be worse than now) and end the relationship.

Answer 5

I don't want to say this, cuz I hate a broken heart, but sweetie, you are a conveinence to him. He's with you when there is nothing else. He is not ready to committ and he could be single handedly ruining what could be salvaged of your friendship. I would cut your loses sweets, and move on. There is someone out there that won't need to meet someone else, you will be enough for them. So sorry, but it's time to go. Go on your own trip and YOU be the one to meet someone. Girls gotta eat to!! Haha!! Good luck!!

Answer 6

Cut him cold turkey out of your life, he is using you. If he was a real friend he would be straight with you. The pain will seem very hard, but it will pass and you will have learned from it for a future occasion. Do not let him use you. GO out with other friends, and try to forget about him.

Answer 7

Young people tend to fall in love and out quickly and it in short is beacuse they are not fully aware of who they are. If you liked the color blue and bought a blue mp3 player and suddenly it changed yellow ...well you wouldnt love it as much. Same can be said for a girl who had a great fire and love for sports or dancing then... as she dates the guy who fell in love with those things she starts to "change" She decides to make herself better by molding herself into what she THINKS he wants. What she does not realize is that by doing this she is changing everything about her he liked in the first place...you are changing from blue to yellow!! Be yourself and trust that whomever likes you for that is truely your soumate!

Answer 8

there's no so-called ' i cant live without him, i cant forget him'....the key is in urself...ask urself, do u want to forget him ? u can live without him...but he still cares...yes, he cares for u cause u are his best friend...he's just not that into u..so dun spend ur time on such silly thing...u are young..u still have plenty of chance to meet someone better..someone who might say that he cant live without u one day...someone who will love u more u love ur bf now..life is short...dun waste ur time by such silly thing...sometimes, being a close forever is good than being a couple...

Answer 9

He's playing games. He probably does like you a lot, but he's not sure what he wants. I say if he's gonna throw you around like a rag doll he's not worth your time or effort. As much as it sucks to say "goodbye" you'll see, in time, how you were able to get over it and that you were able to survive. Trust me. He's playing games with your heart and you shouldn't compromise that.

Answer 10

this is the place i take advantage of the excellent of psychology to do handle this situation. everybody is diverse or is on a diverse point of tolerance. i do no longer choose to lose administration of my temper. i might particularly stay cool,calm and collective. for my section showing resentment or inflammation is giving delight to the source who designed the smart tactic. although is declared,actuality or fiction. you ought to stay your existence regardless. I continually remind myself that we are all going six feet below the floor besides. in the adventure that your existence type is helpful and cutting-edge,you ought to have no longer something to rigidity approximately.