I have been thinking a lot about that question. My ex-boyfriend and I are best friends (after going through a lot of pain) which would be great if I'm not in love with him. He knows how I feel but does not feel the same way. Because of this I have been going through an emotional rollercoster. I'm seeing now that I can't heal with him in my life. As long as we are friends I will hope that his feelings will change for me one day. I know that this isn't realistic. I want to be able to move on, but my love for him is not going away. I have been thinking about ending our friendship until I'm over him and can see him as just a friend. But that may not happen.
We have been through so much together and that has made my feelings grow and his stagnant. A part of me feels the need to let him go and another part feels that I should hang in there and be a friend to him.
Any opinions?
2007-07-05 14:55:22 · 12 answers · asked by cartoonfan4ever 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In order to move on, you need to let go. You've had a great life experience. Now you must give yourself permission to continue on your journey. You can only do this by breaking away. As tough as it may seem, a friendship is not possible. You've shared way too much intimacy (on many levels) to remain "just friends". Take what you have learned from this relationship and
go forward.
2007-07-05 15:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by llselva4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't hurt yourself. you should just go out and see your other friends... i think you know what you should do and that deep inside you know that this is a lost cause.
just take heart that you'll be ok even without him. it's scary but think of it as an adventure and a chance to prove to yourself that you can go on without him. besides i'm sure you have other friends who'd be willing to help you through life.
i would suggest that you let him go. get over him first. and then when you're completely ok with him not being yours --- then you can resume the friendship.
the view that after a relationship you can be friends is a little weird. some people can do it... but most of us cannot. just move away a little for your sanity's sake.
be well!
2007-07-05 15:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by acrylamide 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, yes it's possible.
Sometimes even people who are in love are not meant to be together for whatever reason. So even if they truly love each other, that love should make them not want to hold the other person back from being happy and from living a normal life.
I had an ex-girlfriend who I loved and she loved me, but we didn't get along, so we split because we knew we would just keep hurting each other.
2007-07-05 15:02:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not easy. My ex-girlfriend still had strong feelings for me after I broke up with her, and I still have love for her. We just didn't work well as a couple. I wanted to remain friends with her, but I would have understood if she had comepletely broke off all ties with me. This is probably the best way, and what you should do. Just stop having contact with him until you feel you are over him.
2007-07-05 15:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by lonepanther2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE same thing happen with me &my exwife,we have been devorced for 7 years and we are great friends and she knows i love her but she doesnt feel the same.I am glad to have her in my life inany way i can.I now have a gf and am ready to move forward. My feeling for my ex will never change and my gf knows this and she hopes someday i will feel that way about her.
2007-07-05 15:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by billgreenthumb69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a better way of looking at this....
You need to love yourself enough to let someone go.
Perhaps with this concept fewer women would have emotional issues that they can't shake. Largely because they equate personal value to whether they have a man in their life.
Women don't need men to be complete.... A man can only enhance her life, not complete it.
2007-07-05 15:01:35 · answer #6 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to fall out of love for somebody you see all the time. You need to be strong and take a long break and come back when like you said, your feelings are gone. Be honest with him, he will understand. Time and distance are the best cure.
2007-07-05 15:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by mely 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone enough to let him go?...this is a bit oxymoronish...by that I mean...I aALWAYS thought that this was a bit of a cop out..
girls do these things and it confuses the living hell out of us men...
I love you..that is why I have to leave you...makes NO sense...
sorry..it frustrates me to see a guy go down in flames like that for confused logic based upon female emotions...
you NEED to just get over him..go to a club..kiss another guy...get that funk out of you...because it is about to cost you a GOOD friend who just isn;t into you in that way..and good friends especially best friends...we only get a handful of those in life...don't blow those...
2007-07-05 15:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may be, let him go. You deserve someone that wants to be with you in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. As you grow older - who knows, maybe something will ring you back together. Hang in there -- remember the old saying - if its meant to be, it will be. Talk to someone (best friend) - they can help you get thru it. I'll keep you in my thoughts....
2007-07-05 15:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by Suzi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on there's nothing there. If he wanted you, you wouldn't be his ex. Best be doin it b4 you lose his friendship too. Don't put yourself thru the wringer, get out there experience plenty more fish in the sea.
2007-07-05 15:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by old hand 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋