Would You Use Emotional Blackmail On Your Dad??

Question

If your mum and dad had fought most of their maried life and mum always put him out then took him back and they both where unhappy, but still went on if he finally said thats it Im not coming back ,would you use his grandkids against him,like the only way you can see them is at mums house,so he would still have to see her,or would you let them both be happy apart...

I would just like to say I am not the one doing this,its my friends daughter I find it very nasty and immature,she has to realise that she cant throw a tantrum anymore and daddy will give her what she wants........He has moved back home,but personally I dont see it loasting long,I also think the wife hs a hand in the daughter doing this as she did this when his kids where young,when they grew up she used the house now its the grandchildren..I would never do this to anyone its nasty controlling and manipulating, I wouldnt want to live with someone knowing they where only with me to see the kids/grand kids......His wife invovles his kids all the time she has warped their minds against him and he cant see this,he has told them not to get invovled its between him and her,he doesnt interfere in their lives but they wont let it be,and are driven by the mother..This has went on for 25yrs not a marriage I would want to be in,if only my friend would realise what they are doing...

Answer 1

No I would never blackmail anyone. Using their own Grand kids against them is totally wrong. I think it is wrong to control other peoples lives using blackmail. It's better they both be happy than unhappy. If they are happy apart then they should be allowed to be apart. It is their own lives.

Answer 2

On a personal opinion, I would not do that (to force dad into anything). I'm of an asian background, so family relationships are really tight and viewed as very important in my family. Remember, it was dad who helped raise you along with mom. He might be fighting alot with mom, and often hurt her a lot -- but if she always manages to take him back and forgive him somehow then there's obviously something between them that you couldn't possibly understand. It maybe that mom though it unfair for you to grow up without a dad, who knows? But this "something" is a reason you couldn't, & probably wouldn't understand until you encounter the same situation in your own marriage. And who knows? Mom and dad may actually be happier apart. Sometimes change is needed to bring forth happiness. It's mom's & dad's decision to divorce or not... not their childrens', nor their grandkids, etc. As for the grandkids, I think dad has an equal right to see his grandchildren just as mom does. For the reasons stated before, (that dad helped rear you as a child, and remembering that without either your mom & dad together, that you wouldn't have been born in this world), dad shouldn't be forced into anything or blackmailed. However, if dad is the one who begins to be manipulative and destructive of the familial relationship, I think that you should place some kind of control (i.e. take him to a legal court briefing, obtain a restraining order, etc.) but not go as far into blackmailing him. I think that blackmailing people is very wrong: no one should have the power to control how someone else's life would proceed. This is just my personal opinion. This is how I was raised and therefore how I think of it. Family is very important to me.

Answer 3

Sounds like they will both be happier apart at least if they have the taste of it they will either meet someone else or realise they had a pretty good thing going with each other.

Let them get on with their own lives, no reason why the grandchildren cant carry on seeing both parties.

Answer 4

so this is between your mum and dad....why are you getting involved...using your kids as a weapon is spiteful and nasty....your dad is going through a bad enough time with your mum, so why make it worse for him...imagine how he feels right now...a broken marriage and a child who's using HIS grand kids as pawns....so sad....let them be happy apart and stop interfering....the only people your really gonna hurt is your kids, they may love their grandad, and heres you taking that away from them, don't be so spiteful, think about them instead of your parents, they are big enough and old enough to deal with this themselves, your kids will not understand what's going on so why put them through unnecessary pain

Answer 5

the final public of human beings are for some legalization of abortion. yet maximum additionally sense there could be some limits! So is a man or woman like that "professional-existence" of "professional-decision" ? How DARE you declare that "precise to lifers dont care how many ladies human beings die in any respect." i understand lots of people who're so "professional-decision" that they suspect the beginning administration pill is homicide because of the fact occassionally an egg is fertalized, yet won't be able to implant because of the hormones. those human beings DO care very plenty bearing directly to the lives of the mothers! ADOPTION!!! That settles the well-being care difficulty AND the deadbeat dad difficulty. Your argument approximately types no longer getting accompanied purely applies to the youngsters born with defects, (downs symdrome toddlers won't be accompanied) or 4 twelve months previous toddlers who get deserted by skill of their drug addicted mothers. this is valid approximately people who say you could;t abort slightly one you recognize has a difficulty like downs, yet this is an fairly VERY small proportion of the abortions. you're purely as undesirable because of the fact the "professional-lifers" who act like all of us in want of any abortion every time is a assassin. - sure, there are waiting strains for adopting toddlers of alternative races. however the waiting strains are shorter. If a man or woman is prepared to undertake a black toddler, they could wait a twelve months or much less. in the event that they want to undertake a white toddler, they wait YEARS. Plus you have single mothers and dads & gay couples who've a harder time adopting. they're speedier to undertake minority toddlers. this is the disabled toddlers and the older toddlers that get caught in the equipment & never get accompanied. - I agree terminating a fetus on the zygote diploma isnt homicide. What approximately partial beginning abortion? Are you for that? What approximately aborting a 6 month previous fetus in view this is a woman & the mothers and dads needed a boy? Are you for that?

Answer 6

Maybe on my mom.... No, I wouldn't. Your dad has the right to be happy any way he wants. They can both be happy apart. He can see his grandkids any time he wants. He has a right to. And if someone is preventing that, then they can always go to court.

Answer 7

this is not good you mum should never use the kids to get back at your dad. they need to resolve the issues without involving any of the kids. they are his children/grandchildren too. if they are splitting then they should see in separate place just to save the arguments

Answer 8

How about you stay out of it! No doubt he already is having self-esteem issues b/c of the bad marriage, then to have his daughter try to hold his grandbabies over his head will only put a hot poker to the wound. I mean if it were you would you want your child to do that?

Answer 9

No, that's a very BAD idea...

Let them be happy apart if they choose to, but as long as the fighting isn't like every other day, it might be best to put up with it.

Answer 10

thats mean
why if two people have decided not to meet why interfere
thats mean
invite him over and frm an independent relationship with him as an adulty
if you treaqt him with respect he will respond differently