Do you believe in "middle child syndrome"?

Question

I had never even heared of it before but someone brought it up.I had four boys close in age and treated them all as they needed (not alike!) but now I wonder.
Best wishes,
Joan.

Answer 1

I was not a middle child so I have no experience, but I was the oldest. It had some down falls: always the one blamed, constantly having to watch younger siblings etc. Because of this I felt the need to take charge and be protective.
Every spot (oldest, middle, youngest) is treated differently. It's just how it is. So while there may be a "middle child syndrome" you could easily say there's an "oldest child syndrome" and a "youngest child syndrome".
As a parent, you can't be fair 100% of the time and I've learned this. It's important to try your best and be as equal as much as you can. I have three boys and am pregnant with a little girl. I too treat them all different because they all have different needs and are different ages. I make sure that each one has their own special time to shine, that they are complimented when they succeed, punished when needed and hugged and kissed often. I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like youre doing a good job.
Best wishes =]

Answer 2

Middle child syndrome is very much alive and kicking I'm afraid and as a middle child myself I can tell you it is not imaginary nor does it signify bad parenting. It is simply because the middle of anything has very little importance the first born is so special they do all the firsts and appear to be the happy family ,mummy daddy and baby , then if the next child is of the same sex there is nothing striking nothing out of the ordinary, no different but OK she is new bu that's all nothing special about her .T hen along comes the first boy child wowee - fantastic - see what I mean?? In these circumstances the comments from people when looking in the pram of the middle child go something like this ... oh, another girl? Never mind you will have better luck next time, you really wanted a boy I suppose, oh dear !For ever after you are striving to make some form of specialness all of your own. Totally understandable I say !!! Not a parent problem, more a society problem.

Answer 3

Middle child syndrome is just something children use or even society to made a parent feel guilt because i think in most cases the parents over compensate the middle child just in case the idea of middle child syndrome is an actual thing if this was the case would it be older child syndrome (always get the blame for everything) or younger child syndrome (usually the one the parents see as innocent), if you strive to treat all your children the same and you know in your own mind you have i cant see a problem just don't worry about it.

Answer 4

I'm a middle child, my sister is 6 years older and my brother is a year and a half younger. i always thought i was treated unfair. my brother was the youngest, the only boy and he had some health problems so he was babied to the extreme and my sister was older so got a ton more privileges. i always felt like i would never be as special because i wasn't the first and i wasn't the baby. looking back i realize that my mom couldn't have done anything about it. its just the way i thought as a kid. i was one of the ones that always complained that things weren't fair. i have always felt like people were out to get me for example my mom made me do the dishes because she knew i hated that chore the most. that's just was my personality as a kid i i don't know if it has anything to do with being a middle child or not

Answer 5

Well, I'm the oldest and the only girl. I have 3 younger brothers and we are all completely different and treated as such. Since I was the oldest, my parents were "learning" a lot more...since I was "daddy's little girl" I wasn't allowed to leave the house very much. I did always feel like perfection was expected of me.
The next in line is 18 months younger than me. He was the football star and NO ONE was allowed to miss a game. Then I always felt like he got away with murder but I know Dad and him butted heads a few times.
The next one is 10 yrs younger than me.....and he's the "special" one. Pampered...never does anything wrong....momma's baby.
Then the youngest is 12 yrs younger than me. He's the cutie and everyone loves him. Heck I even baby him.
So I just think everyone has to have a syndrome.......why?

Answer 6

I do believe our birth order has some effect on our personalities, it's human nature. You treated each of your boys differently because they had different needs and different personalities. Your oldest got the most praise and attention for the things he did because he was use to that being the first! Your second also got praise, but also knew how to pacify himself a little better than the first. The third needed much less praise and attention, but might have gotten into a little more trouble to get attention. Your 4th is the baby and got attention for being the baby or the youngest, probably the cutest in the bunch.
Maybe this doesn't exactly describe your kids, but some version of this is true for yours and a group of 4 more kids down the street. Your personality is shaped by nature and nurture and as moms we try not to treat them differently, just distinctly.

Answer 7

There is plenty of evidence and information about our behaviours and attitude in correlation to where we were born into a family.

There is a middle child dynamic in the same way there is an older child or youngest child outlook. The middle child may always feel they must compete with the older child so as to not to be compared with them (and so they try to be different) and at the same time, they might not feel special because this has been bestowed on the younger child.

Growing up in a multi-child family is always going to bring an interesting dynamic and as parents, we need to try and allow them to been their own person, give them space, be a guide and a support, and love them unconditionally. Let's not compare or general. Each child ~ as per each adult ~ is different and this must be respected.

Answer 8

Its something thats really more subconscious, but is already set into our behaviors. Think of it this way, the first child will always be the leader because they are the oldest, and the youngest child will either be a mom/dad's child, because they are small and depend on others to take care of them. Therefor middle children have a tendancy to feel left out, because they cant take the rank of the older child and theyve lost their place as the youngest. But dont worry about it too much, as long as you love your children equaly middle child syndrome shouldnt turn yours into a brat or anything..lol. Good Luck!*smiles*

Answer 9

Well I am a middle child and I have definitely got a syndrome, but then so has the 1st and youngest child. I think a lot of it can be associated with sibling rivalry and parent playing one child off against the other.

Did you not read that book titled "Your Parents they F*ck You up"

As for believing in the middle child syndrome yes and no, reasons as mentioned above.

Answer 10

i am a middle child and yes there is definatley a lot of truth in what you ask. i have an older brother who is 2 years older and a younger sister who is 4 yeasr younger. when growing up my brother was always given a lot of attention as he was a bit of a naughty boy and as the oldest he got to experience everything first. with my sister being a lot younger (well in the eyes of a child anyway) she was always the baby and still is. she played on it a lot and would never do anything for herself. when i started high school i either got the bus or went on my bike but of course when my sister started it was too far to go alone and got drove there everyday.

i really could sit here and rant for hours about this subject but i wont, as it will bore you all to death.
all i will say is that as a result of feeling neglected from being a middle child i only ever plan on having 2 children. where as my partner as the baby of the family would quite happily have more.