I'm almost 13 and a guy I like asked me out. We want to go somewhere with my friends, who are going out. I told my mom about it and she said she had to talk to my dad about it.
They didn't really talk, but my mom said "we don't want a teenage pregnancy" and they said no. My mom seems to not trust me to go out with three friends without getting pregnant, when she KNOWS that I am a sensible person and would never get myself into a situation like that. How can I get her to change her mind?
2007-07-05 13:29:59 · 23 answers · asked by SmileyFace 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First understand that your parents are just being protective of you and must love you very much to take such an interest. Second, understand that to them (and me) 13 is so, so young to be "dating." You see, the term "date" means to them the possibility of some form of sexual encounter (making out or more). They think you are too young for that and so do I but here is the reality that your parents must face. Whether they allow you to "date" or not, they cannot keep track of you 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.
Without being confrontational with them, tell them this basic fact. Then tell them that you are NOT interested in having sex with anyone and if you ever were, you would ask for their (your mom's especially) advice first (which is actually a really good idea). Tell them that you know to say "no" and really mean it! Tell them exactly what you would do if they were to allow you to "go out" with this guy and some friends. In that way, they will see its no big deal. You could even tell them that you will call them every hour (if its not a movie). If you do this, make absolutely certain you call. But you are going to need to be a little patient with them.
You see, you are growing up and they need to adjust to this basic fact. Your parents are bombarded with all sorts of news stories of 12 and 13 and 14 year old girls having children, being abducted or worse and they want to protect you as long as they can from those horrible situations. Your job is to act responsibly and maturely, understand why they are doing what they are doing and instill in them confidence that you would be very, very careful. Good luck...
2007-07-05 13:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard the term quilt by association? Your parents may not like your friends and feel your are going to be pressured to act just like them even though your sensible. I would sit down with both parents and tell them how you feel and they are going to have to trust you until you give them a reason not to. Take a cell phone so they can call, be honest and upfront. Dont hide anything like these people are saying because when you do get caught all is lost. Remember that...
2007-07-05 13:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by Brutus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom was similar to yours at first. She didn't think I was going to get pregnant, but she was worried about me getting physical. What you should do is ask your parents if you could have a few friends over at your house. Have a movie night or something so that your mom can see that he is a responsible boy that is not just trying to hook up with you for action. After your parents meet him then try to see if you can go somewhere out of the house. It also doesn't hurt for your parents to meet his parents.
2007-07-05 13:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by answergirl03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom knows what best. Let it alone. you are a little too young to be going out right now. 13 is quite young. Maybe the movies are something next year O:k. I don't think it's about not trusting you. You are still her little girl. She's some what protective, Be cool and be grateful you have parents who care.
2007-07-05 13:38:14 · answer #4 · answered by MS Williams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kno the feeling my mother is the same way even though me and my bf have been goin out for 5 months so u can either lie about it and say that u r just going with some friends or u can just wait til u get out the house or wait til ur parents will let u go out i have 2 wait til im like 16 or 17 years old which sucks so u will just have 2 wait how about u find stuff 2 do after school like go 2 a pizza place and have lunch or something idk i still have 2 solve this problem 4 myself
2007-07-05 13:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by mdmel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to earn her trust. That means respecting her rules and being a "good daugher".
But, at the same time, you need to talk to her about dating and sex issues. You need to be open about what you're doing or not doing, about questions you have, about love and sex, and things like that. If you ask her questions and respect her opinion and discuss all these issues with her, then she will know that you are taking these issues seriously and are not just letting hormones take control of you. It will take time (months or more) but with this open communication she will understand you better and you will understand her better and she will trust you.
2007-07-05 13:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by William D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her one-on-one without your dad around and show her that you know this guy and you don't plan on doing something immodest.
Then if it doesn't work as to go to the park or something with a friend and meet him there, but make sure you bring your friend with you in case your mom happens to show
2007-07-05 13:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but 13 is too young to be dating one-on-one. End of discussion. Too many hormones, too much easy intimacy. Plus, at 13, you are too young to safely get yourself out of a situation if it gets out of hand. And they DO get out of hand.
Whenever my totally trustworthy and wonderfully honest daughter wanted to "go somewhere' with her friends at 13, I said, "Sure, let's go". And I went with her. If they went to the movies, I sat in the back. If they went to the amusement park, I drove and wandered around with them. If they went to the mall, guess who went along? Yep, and they had to check in with me every 1/2 hour or 45 minutes. If they went to a party, I called the host's parents and made sure they knew there was a party :-) You get the picture.
Invite her to come along. :-)
2007-07-05 13:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry hun, but i think 13 is to young, just respect your parents decision, because eventually, you will realize that your parents may know something about life. I know about now you are saying no, no, no, but you also said you were ALMOST 13, not 13, which means your 12, which is like WAYYYY to young
2007-07-05 13:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Volleyball Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well have them meet him and tell them all the good qualities to him and tell them why you like him and if they still don't aprove then accept their dission because they might have found something wrong with him... because no man is good for their baby girl and tell them that your not a little girl anymore well good luck with your parents and the guy!
2007-07-05 13:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Missa~Luvs~U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋