My brother had a fight with my parents over the rehearsal dinner. He wanted them to spend more money, and they just don't have it. Now he says they are not invited to the wedding unless they apologize. They think he's being spoiled and are not going to apologize or go to the wedding. I have tried to convince my brother to make up with them, and he says I am siding with them and obviously don't care about him. I've decided not to go to the wedding either. Is that horrible of me?
2007-07-05 10:57:34 · 26 answers · asked by Carrie O'Labrador 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If your brother wants more money spent on the rehearsal dinner, then he needs to start kicking in for it, simple as that. I think everyone needs to calm down and talk about this as adults, and if your brother wants to act like the infant and walks out or tells everyone where to go, then abide by his wishes and don't go to the wedding. Personally, unless you have been dragged in to this argument I think I'd stay out of it and then explain your position to him separately. Make sure he knows that your decision is based on a reaction to his own actions rather than 'siding with the parents'.
I think I'd pull your future SIL aside as well and ask her if she knows what she's getting in to, or do you think she being the 'princess' and forcing him to do her dirty work? If that's the case they deserve each other and the cold, hollow life they will lead together with no one in their lives except those who pay homage to them.
Good Luck
2007-07-05 11:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by Cory C 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your parents should wait it out...let the storm blow over. Sometimes weddings bring out the worst in us (although this truly is the first time I've heard of a guy tripping out like this LOL!)
Seriously though, you seem like the calm one right now....give it time and approach your brother about his actions. Calmly explain to him why he is in the wrong and MAYBE he will come to his senses and HE will apologize to your parents. Trust me, he will feel like crap when he looks at those wedding pictures and he doesn't see his parents and sister in any of them. And all of the wedding guests will wonder where you guys are....NOT GOOD!
Btw.....how does the future bride feel about this little spat? If you get along with her, maybe after a little time has passed you could talk to her as well about getting your brother to chill out. And also, if your brother is so hung up on money, then he should either ask the bride's parents to chip in OR he could get a second job and get the extra money HIMSELF.
Also if your parents are NOT invited to the wedding, then they AREN'T going to pay for the rehearsal dinner, are they? I sure hope not!
Good luck!
2007-07-05 11:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by True Hija De Oshun! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not being horrible. Your brother is acting like a total jerk and his fiance should be rethinking marrying him. Since he is obviously so much more concerned about a meal then his famiy this is not a person who should be committing to another person-he is waaaaaayyyyyy too selfish. Is it because he wants to impress the bride's family? Your parents should not apologize and he is being completely unreasonable. Show him the responses to your question on here so he can see how anyone with any common sense feels he is the wrong one. Good luck to you and I hope your family can resolve this before the wedding. You are a good daughter!!
2007-07-05 11:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by mrk21000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your brother is being Groomzilla.
It's generous and kind of any parent to pay for any part of a wedding. To demand they give more is rude in the extreme. To throw family members out of the wedding for not being able to afford to shell out more cash is not only rude but wildly immature.
These hissey fits he's throwing are not very attractive, either.
Frankly, if my brother had behaved like that about his wedding, I might well have at least considered ducking out, too.
Think it over carefully before you make your decision, but really I can completely see your point.
2007-07-05 11:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by gileswench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is most definitely acting like a baby.
No one should apologize for acting like adults...But you should all still go to the wedding. My guess is that you would regret it if you weren't there for this really important occasion.
Your brother should be ashamed of himself. If he wants more for the rehearsal dinner he can pay for it himself.
2007-07-05 11:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is being a big baby, but you should let him and your parents settle the problem between them and not get involved. I don't think you should decide not to go because he is angry at them. You should attend the wedding and support him, you are not supporting his decision regarding your parents, only supporting him in his marriage.
2007-07-05 12:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sin to break up a family over 1 stupid day! Yes, I am a bride, and there is no way on earth a wedding is worht losing your family over. The wedding lasts one day, while your family is around forever...hopefully! What a jerk your brother is.
2007-07-05 11:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, your brother's wrong, but I suspect you and your parents will later regret not having gone to his wedding over a silly spat. He is being a spoiled brat, but I think you should all still go to the wedding.
2007-07-05 12:02:43 · answer #8 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope. Your brother is a dick.
Is he always like this?
Do you know his fiance well?
Can she talk to him on your behalf?
Or is she just as bad?
I'm sorry to hear that. How rude of him. They didn't have to spend a dime on his rehearsal dinner.
If my brother acted like that his wedding present would be some diapers, a pacifier, and a baby bib.
2007-07-05 12:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Im getting married in October and would NEVER tell my parents not to show. They are a main part of the wedding. Ive never heard of such a thing. Your brother is insane. His fiancee should think twice about marrying him since he is disowning himself...
2007-07-05 11:01:23 · answer #10 · answered by The Dark Knight 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋