I was raised horribly....?

Question

I was raised in a family that was 100% about vanity....My 3 older sisters raised me, and they pretty much showed me that if you arnt pretty then you're nothing. They made sure I was under a certain weight and made sure I always looked my best every time I left the house, I wasnt allowed to wear sweats. Now its completely screwed with my head!! Because half of me knows they were ridicoulous and theres way more to life then looks but the other half has been so conditioned to it that I feel disgusting if I dont look perfect when I leave the house...I know this sounds like a dumb problem, but I will actually leave work or school if I feel like I dont look good...should i see a phycologist or something?

Answer 1

Well it's really good that you realise that your sisters were not right! You are right that there is more to life than looks. Saying that, I also feel awful leaving the house looking less than my best. Thing is, people have told me I look lovely when I was just lounging around with no makeup on.etc. I think we just set too high standards for ourselves but you have to realise that other people don't see you in the same way that you see yourself! It is true when people say you are your own worst critic! It's not a dumb problem at all, many people have this kind of issue.

If you really think that you need to see a psycologist, then by all means go. But I'd say that you could probably sort this out by yourself. I bet you are really pretty! Start with small steps, I'm not telling you that you have to look like a tramp every time that you leave the house but don't try so hard to look perfect all the time, it takes more energy than it's worth!

The other day when I went round to my friends house, we were going to go out and she was saying how much of a mess she had made of her eyebrows.. I honestly couldn't see the difference. This is just an example of how critical we are of ourselves but other people probably won't even notice if your eyebrows aren't perfect or if you haven't washed your hair or whatever!

p.s. Most guys prefer natural looking girls rather than really done up girls caked in makeup!!

Answer 2

It's like any other bad habit or mindset you have to ease into it. Try to scale back on how much glam you put on to do simple things. Try just pulling your hair back in a ponytail first and then when that's comfortable maybe not dressing up to go to the dry cleaners etc.... ease yourself into it. Maybe just do it around the house (all naturel) for a little while. It's not a dumb problem lots of people get messed up like that but at least you are mature and sensitive to recognize it for the garbage that it is and try to break yourself of a petty mindset.

Answer 3

you need to try just once to leave the house natural, you know with you hair not fitxed just right and your make up not on. and see how you feel. maybe you just need to talk to some one about this. if you are leaving work over the way you look you might have a problem.

Answer 4

Honey.... I dont think youy need a phycologist i just think you need a break. Got to a spa, the movies, hang out with the people who love you cuz those are the people who you have the most trust in. and most importantly....have faith and and know that you ARE beautiful!

Answer 5

It might be good to get some psychological counselling.
Instead of giving you self-esteem, they made you insecure.
Your work-place or school might have counselling services.
Maybe you just need a few close friends you can trust.

Answer 6

Well, if you feel that you have a problem, you could talk to a therapist about it and see if that doesn't make you feel a little better about yourself.