I am normally a very honest person. Being newly single, I met a guy at a club. When he asked if I have kids I said "a daughter." Now we've been together over 3 mos and I feel awful for not letting him know about the other 2 kids. My friends/family told me I did the right thing because we would never have dated if he knew about all 3 kids. In fact he told me about a woman he met w/ a bunch of kids who he did NOT date. I really care about this guy now. How do I tell him about the other kids? I believe he'll end the relationship instantly (don't blame him). Is there any hope for the situation? I am living in constant fear of his finding out.
Thank you for your sincere responses!
2007-07-05 10:12:11 · 13 answers · asked by Wondering 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I expected a backlash, cuz what I did was wrong. My kids are first, but this was just "club talk" with "some guy" and I did not expect it to go anywhere. By the time I liked him enough to give him my tele # the lie was already out there.
2007-07-05 10:23:08 · update #1
Sooner or later he will find out,as a guy I would much rather hear it from the one I am dating, then to find out on the street. Trust and honesty are the two most important things to have in a relationship, for your own sake speak with him and get this straightened out.
2007-07-05 10:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by Pengy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you lied to him and tell him why like you just told us as soon as possible. Yes, there is always hope. You might just have a prize of a fellow there instead of the run of the mill kind. If so, it will not matter that you have 3. The more, the better is what a great guy would say. You do want to know for sure which kind he really is, don't you?
2007-07-05 17:21:12 · answer #2 · answered by oldknowitall 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should just be honest with him. I know it will be hard, but the longer you hide it from him, the harder it will be for you to come clean, and the harder it will be for him to forgive you.
If he's not willing to date women with a lot of kids, then he probably isn't the right guy for you anyway. You want a guy that just loves kids, and will be more than happy to raise your kids with you. Anyways, after you tell him he will obviously be shocked at first, and there is a good chance he will end it then and there. But think of it this way - if he stays with you, I'd definitely say that it's a sign that he's a keeper. ;)
2007-07-05 17:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by John 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should've been honest with him to begin with. It might seem like he wouldn't have dated you because of your kids, and it might be true. But I don't think that makes it different now. It's worse this way in my opinion. If you come clean to him about it and he doesn't wanna be with you anymore -- you're the one getting hurt. Think about it, if you told him earlier and none of this happened, you could've had another guy that accepted your kids.
I think the best thing to do now is just tell him how you feel. Tell him why you didn't tell him and all that stuff. I wish you luck :P
2007-07-05 17:17:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well now that you know him ask him if he wants to meet your family and tell him you have a daughter that you mentioned earlyer and 2 other ones it's the best you can do and who knows he might fall instantally in love with you kids and if not if he really cares for you that won't matter....Best of luck
Hope is works out...
-Moose
2007-07-05 17:19:20 · answer #5 · answered by Moose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one you should have never lied about your kids. You should be proud that you could even have kids. There is no man worth more than your children. If you tell him and he doesn't want to be with you then he isn't someone you need to be with. Now if he doesn't want to be with you because you lied that is a totally different situation. Be a proud mother, God gave them to you for a reason so appreciate it.
2007-07-05 17:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by dena h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends and family are wrong to think you did the right thing. You got yourself in this by lying. Either you tell him the truth or you break up with him. Actually, just break up with him. He sounds like he doesn't like kids.
2007-07-05 17:22:18 · answer #7 · answered by Suzie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who do you like or love more him or your kids?
i presonally dont agree with you lying in the 1st place because you should expect a man to except you for who you are...lying on your kids is a terrible thing...you need to tell him the truth and if he wants to leave then let him because you still have your kids and that is whats important...if he likes you he may be upset but he should come around...but i wouldnt blame him for leaving either....i suggest you grow up and find yourself then find a man that will accept you and your kids....that is real selfish of you to do what you did
2007-07-05 17:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be honest with him. Tell him WHY you lied, and hope he understands. If it's meant to be, he will stick around. If he doesn't, you'll know how to approach the situation in the future! Good luck!
2007-07-05 17:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you ashamed of your kids? That's really wrong! No man should come before them. You've got bigger problems then lying to him if this is how you live your life. I feel sorry for your kids.
2007-07-05 17:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by rcButterfly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋