I'm female 24 yrs old and have a bf that is 30 ans we been together on and off for 2 years now. I wanted to go back to school and I expressed my feelings with my bf. He keeps talking to me about how will I get to school if we happen to break up. Even though we talked things over and over again. He thinks if I go back to school I won't have any money for paying it. I was planning on changing my work in the morning and when school is done I can get a job right away. I want to be a medical assistant and its a high demand job. I want to continue my education, but my bf keeps threating me by saying we are going to break up and I'm afraid to start school and not being able to finish due to my bf's own insecurities of himself. Talking has gotten me no where with him and he don't seem to give a rats butt about me.
2007-07-05 09:37:20 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Best Answer:
Hun I've been there before he's trying to control you. And worse of all a goal driven woman like you he doesnt want to see you succeed where he has failed. Or in other words he doesn't want you to better yourself, b/c you just might realize you deserve better.
If you have family or friends i'd go back to them and tell them what's goin on. Get rid of this Jerk ASAP!. He needs a reality check and you need a boost b/c ur an amazing woman, never let a man cruxh ur dreams. If you have to depend on him, (and he makes you feel like $#!T) you can do better on your own!!!
Do Your Thang Honey!!!!
2007-07-05 09:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by Brittney B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok... here's my thought.....
Call his bluff and get on with your life.
If you've been dating for over 2 years and no commitment from him, why would you want to put off your personal life advancement for his indecision?
Tell him that this is a time you want to use to get your life and career together. He can either be a part of that... or not... but you are going to move on down the road.
You need to place your needs first. While this statement sounds a bit selfish, look at it like this. If your BF was supportive and understanding and truly loved you, then having him around would help you advance your personal life and career. Therefore, having him around would be placing your needs first... he would be helping you acheive your life goals. If this isn't the case... it's time to set him aside.
Good luck and I hope this helps!
2007-07-05 09:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by wrkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is insecure, and he's trying to be controlling. He's threatened by the idea that you might be able to have a life independent of him.
It's up to you whether you want to stay with him, but before you make any major decisions, ask yourself if you're better off with him or without him. And then have the convictions to follow up with your choice.
But whatever you do, don't marry this guy, or get pregnant by him until you make that decision. It will be about 18 times harder to do anything if either of those happen.
2007-07-05 09:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't really care about you and your future. this is you red flag....go on without him. Any decent man would support you in your attempt to further your education.
#1 there is financial aid and grants
#2 Use public transit to get back and forth
#3 Go on without him
Like I said, he wants to hold you back, he wants to keep you all to himself. He is afraid that you will leave him once you have been exposed to that profession or even the campus. He doesn't care about you the way that you need to be cared for. People who love each other do not threaten to leave each other over education.
2007-07-05 09:43:43 · answer #4 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where was your relationship going-from the start-if you intend on marriage both together-then he would be supportive of the best for you-i will finish the other side later in my answer
for now I strongly suggest for you and him too=this is the best way to good laughter, fun and everwhat=see the lighter side of life, please!, and I am born Jewish
then again I am now kicked out of my synagogue because I am called a rebel, no not for my sins-they felt even if I was an atheist I am still Jewish, yet because I believed in hope and my Jewish scriptures-I am considered a traitor a rebel! Isaiah 9:6 "Unto us a child is born, a son is given, and he will be the mighty God and the prince of peace."
I wish the best for you and this was my breakthrough=when one realizes that Jesus unconditionally loves them
regardless of the torments of evil, problems, tests and trials, and tears through to smiles. May we realize that Jesus brings the
best in life to each of us every day, if we just open our spiritual
eyes=His mercies are new every morning, great is thy
faithfulness (Lamentations 3:21-26,. then a new beginning happens every day.
If you feel lost pray="Jesus help me, I am sorry for letting you down, forgive me and lift me up where I belong, come into my heart to stay, help me find your best way, amen." Revelation 1:1, & 3:19&20 spoken by Jesus from heaven "As many as I love, I rebuke and correct, turn quickly to me from sin. Behold I stand at your heart door and knock, if you hear my word and ask me in, I will come in and be your friend."
If we already had done that then its asking him to forgive and restore the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51)
Jesus understands us heart and soul, he is trustworthy,
have the best day ever, heads up and smiled, David
Ps your worth the best and if he is just in it for the ride-he thinks you are being selfish not giving up your life for him.
2007-07-05 10:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what you feel is right. I understand that you love your boyfriend, but he should have enough respect for you to accept your decision. I say, if you want to go to school, go for it, but if he says no then forget about him. He will be sorry when you get finished and become a medical assistant, and have tons of money. Good luck Peace and LOVE
2007-07-05 09:41:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this man is trying to control you. Get out of the relationship as fast as possible. He is using this as his way to keep you from being successful so that you will have to rely on him for everything. You know that you want to go to school and make something of yourself but he sees that as you becoming independant and not needing him anymore. Get him out of your life fast and get a order of protection on him. this is how an abusive relationship starts and if it goes on any longer we may be reading about your disappearance in the papers.
2007-07-05 09:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by jamesarth1963 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to school obviously he wants to break up if he keeps saying it. You can always get another BF and one who will encourage you to go to school not one who is trying to keep you from furthering your education.
2007-07-05 09:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if your boyfriend really cared about you he would support you and encourage you to continue your education. You need to ditch that a** hole! Dont let him hold you back from ensuring your future. You need to live for you and if he wants to be a part of that then great if not then you dont need him.
2007-07-05 09:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by California Kush 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy has power issues. Anyone who holds a relationship hostage to get what they want has problems with control. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you are not ok with such threats. If he doesn't agree, well, then you should go ahead and preempt his breakup threats by breaking up with him.
2007-07-05 09:41:08 · answer #10 · answered by chuckna21 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋