I went out with this guy for over a year, now I don't know what's going on. Please help?

Question

Sorry, this is going to be a long one, because I really need advice. First off, I’m fifteen. But PLEASE don’t give me crappy, you’re too young for this, answers. That’s not what I’m looking for, I’m not too young to love. Anyway.

I went out with this guy for over a year. We had a pretty great relationship. We didn’t see each SUPER often or anything, but I was happy with us, and I think he was too. He told me he loved me and that I meant the world to him and all that. I loved him, too. I didn’t mind the amount of time we spent together because, after all, we’re only in highschool. I figured, why rush things when I have a lot of time with this guy?

But in a moment of stupidity, I broke up with him three weeks ago. We talked about it a few days later, and I apologized and explained things. He understood and we got back together. We went three weeks without talking. That was very odd, even for us. But I didn’t mind, because we were in love, and, like I said, we had a lot of time.

On Sunday evening, he got on aim, so we talked. He was short with me, though, and didn’t say much. I sensed something was wrong, but he kept denying it. Finally I convinced him to tell me, and he took me by TOTAL surprise when he said that he wanted to break up. He said that all we ever were was friends, and he never really loved me. He had thought it was something, but it wasn’t. I was so upset. He apologized for breaking up on AIM, but said that he was leaving for NY that night and felt he had to tell me. But I’d had to convince him to tell me!

I know for a fact that there are only three people on aim that he talks to: me, my best friend, and one of his friends. So he really only gets on to talk to me. last night he was on for two hours. I was away the whole time, but I was there. He didn’t bother to im me, but he did stay on, and neither of the other two were on! He’s on again now, has been for an hour.

My questions: Why did he break up with me, and what’s going on now?! I find it somewhat hard to believe that after all the time we were together, he realized he never loved me. Advice needed badly!

Answer 1

If you were together for over a year, Im sure he did love you. But sometimes people's feelings change & they may feel they want out. You surely must see this. Didn't you say you broke up with him first 'in a moment of madness.' If its ok for you to do that cant you see that he can too?
As for the AIM thing, hes obviously chatting to someone else on there & thats something you have to face. Im sure it hurts but hes not married to you & will move on, as you should too. Life & relationships are complicated. Sometimes we get hurt & it feels like the end of the world for a few weeks or so, but you will be fine. Done spend too much time thinking about it, you will just drive yourself nuts. Just do your best to get on with other things. Get busy with your friends & have some fun times with the girls. I know youre hurt but thats life. You will be ok soon, trust me.

Answer 2

OK you want an answer. You and he are both too young to know what a committed lasting relationship is. You will meet many many more people and you will both change so much even in the next 5 years. I am sure that you love him, in a way but, it is mostly infatuation and a crush.

A committed and lasting relationship is forever and is for grown mature adults. You are not a grown mature adult and neither is he.

Most kids at this age who try to commit and even marry, don't last. That is because they lack maturity. There are too many responsibilities in a committed relationship and especially in marriage.

Come back and talk in 5 years and tell us if you think any differently or not.

Answer 3

I know exactly what happened.. listen up.. pay attention..
First I want to say learn from this mistake you made and you will be a better person.. teens tend to make this mistake the most.(perhaps because they're new to love) They breakup with someone. without really thinking about it.. and doesn't realize what kinda consequences it brings. I believe he was hurt you broke up with him and that hurt made him fall out of love with you. Even though he says that he's over it.. he probably wasn't and nothing you can do will change that. I see couples that breakup and get back together like it's a habit, which is best thing you can do if you want to ruin the relationship. All couples have problems one time or another but you should never bring up subject of breaking up or actually break up until you are sure, you never want to be with that person again. If a girl I was totally in loved with broke up with me, I'd get back together with her because I missed her, but I would begin to wonder, "why am I with someone like her?" Only chance is to pour your heart out to him and hope he gives you a second chance. That's if you want to" good luck.

Answer 4

Ok, I first have to say you are never to young to love, I was in love at your age and she moved, I have been married and divorced since and I still love her. Now on to your problem, I truly can not tell you what is going on and no one else can either, no one knows what he is thinking. It can be a number of things:
1. maybe he did love you but you breaking up scared him and he does not think you love him any more
2. Maybe he never really loved you and found some one else
3. Maybe you were fine with the little time you spent together but he wants more
4. Maybe he is listening to friends

No one knows and these are just a few ideas. I hope all works out for you, you sound like a nice girl and you will find someone else if it does not work out with him. Believe me when I say that the person you love now may not be the person you are meant to be with. I loved my ex-wife but found that we were not right for one another, I have a new girlfriend who I love with all my heart and I know she is the one I was to be with. I hope this helped. Good luck.

Answer 5

OK. i won't say u are too young to love. but your situation is a perfect example of why it doesn't make sense too get emotionally involved when you are young. in 3 years you will look back and laugh at yourself and how caught up u were. 3 years after that u won't believe u were naive enough to do the things u did when u were 18. u are still growing. we all are. but the older u get and the better u know yourself the better prepared you'll be to deal with a serious relationship. for now just date, have fun and know u'll have plenty of time to give your heart to someone once it's matured more.

Answer 6

you hurt his pride for one and once you hurt a guys pride especially a young guy they tend to become very spiteful towars you and it will never be the same again. when you broke up with him you probably hurt him a little and most guys only allow that to happen one time per chick so even though you got back together you were never really back together and he is probably flirting with some new girly on aim because that is how a lot of guys are as soon as they find another good deal they let you go (after you have hurt them that is and usualy only when they are young) never fear though you are young and you still have a lot fun to have and a lot of these expereiances to go through so enjoy them while they are good feel them when they hurt and know that this is just apart of life young or older!!

Answer 7

Maybe he just wasnt ready......sometimes boys do stuff that we dont understand...trust me on that one. It also could be that he just wanted to see what he was going to get from u by saying that he loved you....and although he doesnt seem like that kind of person to you...he still could be...Another thing is that that is the same thing that happened to me...he told me he loved me for 2 years and then about a week ago he said he didnt or he didnt say it back when i said it to him so i know how u feel. Just keep your head up and remember that everything happens for a reason. Email me if you want to so we can talk some more. [e-mail]

Answer 8

Your boyfriend could have been playing you. Alot of highschool boys don't go for the sappy, lovey-dovey stuff, so he may have been telling you this ish for one thing and one thing only. You know what I'm talking about. If you all did that already then he may feel like he's done with you and ready to move on. If you all didn't then he may feel like he's done with you because he really wants it. I don't know him, but that's the sad truth about alot of men.

As with him all of a sudden moving to NY, he may have to and didn't have the guts to tell you before and to your face. It's the sad truth that it's easier to break up with someone over the phone or on the internet and to make it as short as possible to not feel bad about youself.

Answer 9

Hi

Its pretty bad when relationship breaks up. However, I will says some relationships are not meant for go longer. Sooner is better. He gave up the relationship not you so don't feel guilty. Something may come up better and good for you.

Don't be mean or rude with him. He thought thats the better way for him so who cares, let him go. He has got more precious things than you. Sooooo let him go.

Hope you feel good.

Bye for now.

well wisher from Canada

Answer 10

Well I can't give you a reason on why he broke up with you, only he knows. It seems as if he just lost interest, it tends to happen in younger relationships. And also, many people tend to get Love and Lust mixed up. It seems as if it was more of a Lust thing for him, but don't waste your time wondering on why he broke up with you or why he hasn't IM'ed you. I promise there are plenty more guys that will come along.