Low self esteem?

Question

I have low self esteem. I'm 12 years old 5' 4" and 130 pounds. I feel like I weigh too much. I know I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but my dad, grandpa, aunt, and grandpa on my mom's side all have depression, so I'm pretty sure there is a good chance I have it too. Is there any way I can get higher self esteem?

Answer 1

You should try talking to someone, whether it be a psychiatrist, psychologist, or someone in the family. Depression can be treated with the right medications and you will feel so much better.

As far as tips for helping self esteem go:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
If you play this game, you're likely to compare yourself in a negative way and set yourself up for continuing to have low self esteem. Why continue to play a game where you've set the rules against yourself, so that you're less likely to win!

2. Don't keep putting yourself down!
You can't develop high self esteem if you constantly repeat negative comments about your skills and abilities. Other people will pick up on it and take on board the negative way you view yourself. How are they likely to treat you? Also don't beat yourself up over "mistakes" that you've made - learn how to reframe them so that they work for you.

3. Using affirmations is an excellent way to raise your self esteem.
It's the opposite of no 1. If you can programme your mind to repeat negative phrases about yourself (and see how effective that's been!), then you can certainly get into the habit of continually thinking (and saying to yourself) positive statements about you. When you do, allow yourself to experience the positive feelings about your statements. Also use inspirational quotes to assist you.

4. Accept all compliments graciously.
Don't dismiss or ignore them. When you do you give yourself the message that you do not deserve or are not worthy of praise, which reflects low self esteem. It also means that others will become more reluctant to praise or acknowledge your abilities, if you don't.

5. Take advantage of and use life coaching programmes, workshops, books.
on how to raise your self esteem and develop a more positive attitude. Whatever material you see, read acts as subliminal learning, which means that it will plant itself in your mind and dominate your behaviour. Talk about food for thought - what diet is your mind on? Is it a nourishing one?

6. Mix with positive and supportive people.
Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour - another form of subliminal learning. Negative people can put you and your ideas down and it lowers your self esteem. On the other hand, when you are surrounded by supportive people, you feel better about yourself, which helps to raise your self esteem. Learn how to develop your positive personal support network.

7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and skills.
Too many people with low self esteem constantly put themselves down (back to no 1 again!) and don't appreciate their many positive attributes. Learn how to truly affirm and value your many excellent qualities. If you find this difficult, ask others to tell you. They'll come up with things you would never have imagined!

8. Stop putting up with stuff!
Not voicing or acknowledging your needs means that you are probably tolerating more than you should. Find out what you're putting up with and zap those tolerations. By doing so, you're giving yourself the message that you're worth it.

9. Make positive contributions to others.
This doesn't mean that you constantly do for others what they could be doing for themselves. But when you do make a positive contribution to others, you begin to feel more valuable, which increases your sense of your own value and raises your self esteem.

10. Involve yourself in work and activities that you love.
So many people with low self esteem stop doing those activities that they most enjoy. Even if you're not in a position to to make immediate changes in your career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to enjoyable hobbies and activities.


It's a lot of reading I know, but it can really help.

Answer 2

First thing is to remember that at 12 years of age you need to concentrate on being young and carefree. Do things that you enjoy those things that give you meaning and purpose. If you love to draw or paint or sing or cook or just think about why the sky is blue. The possibilities are endless. Do not get caught up in worrying about the conditions that your family may have this does not say that you are destined to become depressed. I will say that you have to look inside and find that person that the great creator made perfect. You have to wake up everyday with a purpose and that is to live to your greatest potential. People can be cruel and everyone in this world will not see things the way you do. Be proud of your accomplishments and smile at the fact that you can enjoy the birds, the sunrise and the sunset. The trees and the rivers and streams. There is so much to be happy and thankful for that you must step out and embrace it. Your are great and through you great things will happen. Stand tall and be happy for your life is like a beautiful melody that God wrote for himself.

Answer 3

Here is what I have done in the past... And depression DOES run in my family... and I have suffered other emotional "strain" also... especially low self esteem.

These are practical things you can do, without the help of a therapist.

1. Know this: that people like us (low self esteem) can EASILY list our many faults.
SO, take this challenge instead: List at least 5 GOOD things about yourself... if you can't think of any, list positive things your friends and family have said about you. (i.e., you have a good sense of humor.. you are someone your friends can trust... you care about animals.... ).

2. The next time you do something that you think is worthy of giving yourself a mental beating for (I'm so stupid... I'm so fat... etc..) FIRST list 10 things that went right with your day.

Example: You come home from school, distressed about this goof-up or that misunderstanding... you're ready to start the broken record of how worthless, ugly, stupid, fat, (fill in the blank) you think you are, based on how you feel you messed up that day.... (I've BEEN there and DONE that... trust me)...
INSTEAD-- take the challenge--- LIST ten things that went right with your day --- your clothes matched, you were on time to school, you had a great time with your friends....

For every yukky thing, be prepared to counter it with TEN (ok, you're young, I'll settle for no less than FIVE) GOOD things that happened first.

In other words... work your mind to think on the good things in your life. Everyone has things they don't like about life or themselves. SOme of us "hyper-focus" on the negative stuff until we are in a little dark room surrounded by our own yukkiness.

Some people never emerge from that room and die young...
And some people fight their way out and go on to do great things despite themselves, and to encourage others who are fighting the same battles they've learned to overcome.

I am 46, now, and fought my way out of that dark place of low self esteem. I am here, encouraging you to fight, too. I am looking forward to the great things you will bring to this world.

Email me if you want more ideas for overcoming the low self-esteem stuff.

Answer 4

Yes it's precise.People that experience low self worth all have it from special factors in there lifestyles.One would possibly consider unattractive,considering of facial facets or frame elements,and so forth.Sometimes while folks unconsciously draw in abusive folks its,considering they have got witnessed abuse of their lifetime so despite the fact that its fallacious and it hurts its what they're used to. It isn't an handy factor to manage with.As a ways as your self worth do not fear approximately what different folks appear like or what type developments are in. Do what appears well on you. Ex. coiffure,make-up,garments,and so forth.Keep telling your self you appear well and along with your first rate character that no person can most sensible you.Eventually others will see that your constructive and haven't any alternative however to recognize and recognize you.Then you're going to consciously make the proper choices approximately who you date considering you're going to care sufficient approximately your self.

Answer 5

Look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself "I am beautiful" at least once a day. Dress in clothes that make you feel comfortable as well as show you off (aka a cute skirt and a tank or something). Go get a new haircut that accentuates your face (shorter is usually better). Surround yourself with your friends and family. Do things that you love to do to keep your mind off of your body.

You don't weigh too much. But if you still feel like you do, why not start to exercise or join a sport? I did that in high school and my weight went down...

Answer 6

for starters take that inner critic and lock him/her up, he's a good tool bad partner.
2nd you are not fat, i just did a quick search (im 5'11 26 and 240, i weigh too much) and all the people i saw that fit that description looked fine to me,
3rd the best way to loose selfeteem is to worry about it, and fill your head w/ all this "depression" thoughts, worry if your depressed is only going to make you depressed, it's something that's good to keep an eye out for, but again use mental health awareness as a tool, not a partner.
4th express your self some way, creation is the opposite of depression, find some way to love life, and treat your self in some way every day,
your a young girl, your life is in front of you, your life decisions now can echo for a long time, get used to positive thinking patterns, it (again as just one tool) can shape your whole world

as a side note: well being rides on 4 tires of health down the road of life, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual, keep them all filled at about the same healthy level and you'll keep cruising on for a long time

Answer 7

It sounds like the source of this self esteem isn't how you feel about your appearance or weight, it's how you feel about it compared to others. We live in a world today that's constantly pushing on mostly our youngest these weird fashion statements, and telling us how to look, and how to dress.

The best way to get higher self esteem I think, is to just ignore what you've learned from everyone else, and ask yourself what you think. What do you think about yourself. And if there's room for improvement, strive to do so, and this will bring you steps closer to a higher self esteem.

Answer 8

my mom alwasys tells me that i have low self esteme becuase....ever since i was little.
my sister (green eyed) also is 12 years old and is not over weight but not super skinny either, but she has realy hight self esteme (other than when it comes to her weight) she always says she wishes she was my size, but i think she looks great the way she is. so don't feel bad about the way you look at all!
when i was two years old my sister was born, and she had beautifl bright green eyes (she was the most beautiful baby everyone would say because she was a mexican with green eyes). i had brown eyes though so whenever someone would come over and they would start talking about how beautiful my sister was, i would go and hide behinde my mom or dad, then my other sister was born but with brown eyes, next my brother was born with blue eyes, he was so cute and everyone would alwasy say how cute he was so it kinda took a little bit of the pressure off my sister with the green eyes about being the cutest. it always kinda affected me, and so whenever someone would come over to my house when i was little i used to hid some where.
now i am 15 and i am still very shy and my parents say i have low self esteme, i dont have depression but my mom alwasy tries to help me feel good about myself so every morning when i went to school she would make me say something good about myself or ealse she would not let me down from the car. my parents want me to look into doing some kind of modeling durring the summer because they say that, that would help me with my self esteme. maby you can try doing some of the same things that i mentioned. if you want you can e-mail me! good luck! :)

Answer 9

Well first of all. You have to admit to you're self that you are depressed. I recommend a good therapy or someone close that you trust to tell them how you feeling.
Hope I helped. Good luck! ^_^

Answer 10

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