My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor. She has always been there for me through some of my worst times. I want to do something special for her. Any ideas on what I can do? She called me today because certain members of her family do not like her colors. I had to explain to her that it is her day. She is a people pleaser.
2007-07-05 08:18:10 · 15 answers · asked by Jen_n_TX 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
take her out for a day and make her promise no wedding talk. she needs time to chill and remember the wedding is not her whole life. go to the movies, window shop, eat foods that are bad for you. she will appreciate how much you care for her.
2007-07-05 08:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she has trouble resisting pressure from others to change her plans - even those that make no financial or legal difference, such as color - the best gift you can give her is consistant support and backup.
In my family, we have a saying 'who's milking the frog?' It's what we say when someone tells us our plans are silly or bad or wrong because we're doing things the way we like rather than the expected way. When my brother was getting married, his bride was timid in her choices at first. A few choruses of 'who's milking the frog' when she asked about colors, flowers, whether or not she dared wear white, etc. and she started figuring out the day was hers to do as she pleased with.
Teach the bride that phrase...or a similar one, such as 'my day, my way,' and help her see that it's okay for her to have anything she likes, so long as she can afford to do it and it's not actively hurting anyone.
Helping her find her backbone and learn to use it would be an amazing gift that will keep on giving! Beats the heck out of a crock pot.
2007-07-05 15:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you'll be a great MOH because you clearly care so much about your friend. As a bride, what I want most from the people around me is someone to hold my hand and help me make tough decisions (I mean, real life-changing stuff like floral arrangements and shoes!). I hate doing stuff by myself, so I'm always just glad to have company and a sounding board.
Other than that, if you want to do something else, do something with her that you think she would enjoy - aside from wedding planning. Manicures, a day at the beach, a girls night out, a movie, whatever you two like to do together.
2007-07-05 15:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by corinne1029 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for her right now is to be there to help her through the wedding stuff. Be the one to assure her that no one will notice that the cocktail napkins aren't the exact shade of the candles. When she is having second thoughts about the floral arrangements (for the eighth time), listen to her and reassure her that whatever she wants will be beautiful. Go to all the fittings with her. Throw her a nice bachelorette party. Be the one to tell her that she is the most beautiful bride you have ever seen. Seriously, this is what will mean the most to her right now...and she will remember all the help and support you gave her years from now.
Good luck!
2007-07-05 15:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Honest to pete, the best thing you can do for her is to be there as a listener, and to help her do the giant pile of things that are due to be done.
It sounds as if she's already facing a pile of trouble from her family. If she knows she can come to you with her troubles, and get a reasonable adult to address them responsibly, she'll be in a much better place.
On this particular issue, I'd remind her that she probably doesn't like the decor in the homes of many of these family members, but she doesn't complain. It's okay for all of us to have different tastes...they don't need to like her colors, they just need to show up for the day and be happy for her.
What she really needs is a good friend, and it sounds as if she has found one in you. Keep up the good work!
2007-07-05 16:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a recently engaged bride to be. I can relate to your friend. My mother likes to controll things and this has already caused problems between me and my fiance.So far she has not tried to interfear with the wedding but we are so scared she will. My advice is to encourage your friend to tell her family that it is her wedding they all have or will have their own weddings. If they dont like her colors then they dont have to come. They can have their own weddings in whatever colors they want but her wedding is her choice. You as her maid of honor should be there to help her and support her through the situation.
2007-07-05 15:29:43 · answer #6 · answered by kw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a jewelry - like, white gold liontine, as symbol of friendship? also maybe, a travell voucher of airplane ticket? or just small present and then write in a card how you wish that the friendship will stay forever and you don't mind to be a friend, for good and bad times. It will be unique present that is for sure not easy to find - I think it is wonderful gift, having someone you can really count on, for life.
If you stil have much time, you can also make a photo album of people who meant a lot for her/the most important family, friends or relatives/who has big influenced of her life, by taking their pics and each has to write small texts or signed it for her under the pic -- Before you submit to her the finished photo album as a gift.
2007-07-05 17:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by glsgls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be great to take her for a girls day / night out so she can vent. Maybe you two can go and get mani/pedis together. I did this with my maid of honor the weekend before my wedding and it was such a relief. We had a great time and it de-stressed me alot.
2007-07-05 15:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by PK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what she needs most is someone to listen when she needs to vent, to tell her that all her ideas are great, to give your honest opinion only when asked, and to throw her a great shower and bachelorette party (unless someone else is taking care of that - then make sure to offer to help in any way you can.) what makes a shower or bachelorette party great? listen to the bride and do what she actually wants to do, and skip what she doesn't. it's a party for her, so make sure she has fun. also, on the day-of, you really do need to be her maid. keep her mom and mother-in-law out of the way when they are getting in the way. bring her water, hair spray, snacks, etc when she needs it (or find someone else to bring it). don't complain about the dress she picks for you, tell her it's beautiful and you love it. only voice and opinion if it is way out of your budget or if she asks for your opinion. and remind her that this is her and her future husband's day, and no one else's. obviously she should get all bridezilla, but it is still their day and should be a reflection of them - colors, theme, etc.
2007-07-05 15:28:34 · answer #9 · answered by not margaret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to do anything specific for her, just be there - which you are already apparently great at since she recognizes you as her MOH. However, if you really want to treat her special perhaps you gals can have a spa day together.. got get a massage since a lot of others seem to be stressing her out. *(dont wait until right before the wedding.. go mid planning! it will be much appreciated.) or you can put together some sort of scrapbook/collage honoring your friendship together.
2007-07-05 15:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is be there for her when she needs to ***** about stuff like that. It's really a huge help. Also lending a hand doing favors and small things like that are actually monstrous help you have no idea.
2007-07-05 15:34:38 · answer #11 · answered by Aubs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋