My sister who is older than me, is having a baby at the first of Nov. Right when she told us I said I want to throw her baby shower. We tentatively set the date for sometime in Sept.
Now, within the past two weeks me and my husband have decided to move cross country. He got a great job offer and they want him to start Aug. 6. My sister knows this, but she dosen't want to have her shower before Aug. 25. I was suggesting Aug 11. Her reasoning is that they are fixing up their house with new windows, doing the baby's room and her husband works a lot.
BUT, the way I see it is the shower is not going to be at their house so it dosen't have to be ready, there's plenty of room at our parents house to keep the presents, and her husband works 24hrs on and 48hrs off so what's the problem.
The issue is that me and my son will have to fly back and spend hundreds or live here for another month which puts back me getting job up there. What do I say to her without sounding insensitive?
2007-07-05 07:34:35 · 22 answers · asked by nickname 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My thoughts are that you are correct. She should understand that you shouldn't have to pay for a flight back for a BABY SHOWER?!
Tell her that you really want to be able to give her a baby shower, and that you can if the shower can be on the 11th or whenever you needed it. If she can't live with that date, then you will have to forego the shower. You are sorry, but for you it is not a rational or responsible decision to pay hundreds of dollars to return, besides the fact that you would lose precious time in landing a new job. If you stayed, there would be the added expense of utilities/rent/etc. Ask her to put herself in your shoes.
By the way, has she been this stubborn and manipulative throughout your growing up years? If so, she may just be continuing in that pattern. I think she is being very unreasonable.
2007-07-05 07:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that you really want to have a big part in her baby shower, and that you really aren't going to be able to afford to come back out once you have moved away. Tell her you would much rather save your money to come back once the baby is born. Suggest your parents house, maybe she hasn't thought about that... she's just going through Mother's nesting instinct right now that's all, you know how it is, you want the house to be clean and perfect before the baby or any baby items come into the house, it's natural. Or here's a suggestion, Throw her two baby showers, maybe you could just throw her a little one between you, her and 1-2 of your closest friends, that might mean more to here anyway since she will have more time with just you before you leave. Or just do it on your own terms and do a suprise shower, then she wont have any say at all!
2007-07-05 07:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both are right. However, your sister as you know is in a heighten sense of sensitivity being pregnant and all that comes with it.
If you told her the plans to have the baby shower in a restaurant or something like that and then storing the gifts at your parents house and she is stillin not budging then she is being sort of selfish and it may not be the baby shower at all, but the fact that you're leaving her at a time like this.
Talk to your sister and see what is really underlying on why she doesn't want the baby shower earlier. And if you can afford it compromise and have the shower before you leave and sell your house so that you both can have more time together. And fly back as soon as possible when she has the baby.
2007-07-05 07:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by justaboutpeace 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you have to remember that your sister is probably really emotional and tired at the same time. It sounds like both of you are pretty busy and have separate lives but are still close. Why would you have to stay for an entire month if the date she wants is only 15 days later and if you don't really have a job lined up for you in the new place you can use those extra couple of days to take a break with your family before you even start your new life. Moving away is not that easy and you are going to wish you had spent that last week and a half with your sister before you go. Do you remember when you had your first child just think of it like that and ask your self what would i have done if my sister come to me with this problem. Let your love for your sister, life as a mother, and your heart tell you what to do.
2007-07-05 07:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you haven't explained to her that her reasons for wanting to postpone the baby shower are not valid. Obviously if her husband is off 2 out of every 3 days, he doesn't work a lot, and clearly the windows are not a factor if the shower isn't even going to be at her house. If she understands this and still doesn't budge, then there is another reason why she wants to postpone the shower.
Lay it out for her, explain to her the consequenses to you (in dollar terms) of postponing the shower by 14 days.
2007-07-05 07:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by 006 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain it to her frankly.The shower is either to be held before you leave or someone else can have it for her. It makes little sense for you to spend the money to come back for a shower before the baby is born. Offer to have the shower after the baby is born. That way you not only get to have the shower for her, but you get to meet the baby also.
2007-07-05 07:41:55 · answer #6 · answered by Vickie L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you are 100% in the right. I don't know why your sister is being so inflexible, but she is. I guess if this is such a major deal, see if she is willing to pick up all the expenses for your travelling back and forth just so she can keep her sacred September date. I don't think there is any real worry about you being insensitive, you have a life too and that doesn't require an explanation.
2007-07-05 07:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by Rckets 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Forget the shower. You were gracious enough to want to throw it and shes being unreasonable. If it was me no way would I spend hundred of dollars flying back and forth. Just tell her you are willing to do it within the time you have while your here but after you move if she wants it then someone else will have to do it.
2007-07-05 07:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you really wish you could have the shower later, but since this move has come up, you'll have to have it earlier. Give her a time frame (ie July 26-August 3), and ask her to choose a date in that week.
Does she really expect you to travel back when you are settling into a new home?
2007-07-05 07:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her if she wants you to throw a baby shower it will have to be at the time you say because you have a lot of expenses going on at that time and that you wont be able to afford to do it other wise and let her know that you understand its her baby and everything but its too much to do and everything. Hold your gound and see what her decision is and then go from there because you can only do so much and you have to realize that and so does she.
2007-07-05 09:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by tootiebear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋