I have seen many posts by mothers here that refer to children as 'my' child. Even though they are talking about an issue between them and their spouse, they question goes, 'What should I do when my husband does ... to my children?'
Why isn't this 'our' children? Don't the father's have rights also? Or are we just suppose to be a silent wallet?
2007-07-05 07:03:06 · 8 answers · asked by Phil 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Aw, I think it's great that you noticed something like that. It sounds like, if you have kids, you want to be involved, which is awesome. Too many kids are growing up w/out Dad anymore. I think it's just a bad habit women get into. We tend to be a little possesive, but the minute they do something wrong or stupid, they'll prolly be "your" children! lol!
2007-07-05 07:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by Dj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is just a force of habit many women get into. Some men aren't as involved with the raising of the children, and sometimes we get ticked at the fathers and show it by being posessive in the only way we can.
Also when we are asking questions in this type of forum and say 'our" child people can be smartie pants and say 'we' don't have any kids.
As for the silent wallet...any women who wants that isn't mature enough to handle the give and take of a real relationship.
2007-07-05 14:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by Gwen D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You make a valid point. I can tell you in my case, I am the sole provider, and feel as if she is "mine". The NCP chooses to be a silent wallet, or sometimes, simply silent. In fact I find myself being very careful to use "our" when dealing with him, to remind him of his responsibility to her. But in the normal course of a day, I do find that I use "my" daughter more than "our". It's a habit that's developed from my situation. My parents never did that - they always said "our" kids as far as I recall. So not every mom does it - and some of us do have good reason.
Kudos to you for noticing, and I assume wanting to be part of the "our".
2007-07-05 15:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe in their lives the father chooses to be the silent wallet. Maybe he doesn't offer much more than that. Maybe the mother bares the brunt of the parenting responsibilities. I care for my daughter day in and day out...her father chooses not to be in her life, more than to come by and see her once a week and drop off $$ when he can...so it takes a conscience effort for me to call her "our" child. I care for her daily, I make all the parenting decisions...therefore I think of her as "My" child. If he'll step up and care more for her and be a part of the day to day parenting, It may become easier to say our child.
2007-07-05 14:38:43 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I am the single dad with custody of the kids, I feel in my situation, She should have no rights to them. She is a drug addicted, lying, cheating woman. She does get the every other weekend if she can pass a drug test once a month. So far, she has not passed one. She has been arrested for selling drugs.
So, you tell me if I should call the kids mine or ours?
2007-07-05 14:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by Bones 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband accused me of that very thing, with sperm donor included. We moms spend so much more time (generally) with the children, that we tend to forget that they are "ours". I correct myself even today, when mine (oops ours) are 32, 32, and 22.
2007-07-05 14:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Silent wallet...
2007-07-05 14:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by cutesy76 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They are his when they are bad duuu!!! We say Mine becouse they are a pice of us and we are kind enough to let go and share them. Eaven though we would rather not.
Yah they are ours but mine feals more like saying I love them and don't you dare hurt them EVER
2007-07-05 15:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by Marvelgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋