Pregnant with an abuser's baby. help?

Question

25 years old. I am 8 weeks pregnant and Now i need some advise. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he's been really abusive the last year. verbally and physically. I decided i had to make the right decision today and move out and leave him. This is tearing me up inside. i'm so upset. Now he's calling me telling me he's sorry and all this. How can i stay strong and keep to my decision. Ive been so upset lately, that i throw this huge crying screaming fits. I know this isnt good for the baby. How do i know if the baby is still ok? i have no bleeding or anything. please, I need some good advice.

Answer 1

Calm down, i'm sure the baby is fine. I would call your docotr and see what you should do. You may be able to take something.

I would give it a break from your boyfriend. No one deserves to be treated in a bad way from there boyfriend. Just think about all the times he's been abusive nad get mad when you get sad. I wish the very best luck for you and your baby.

Answer 2

First of all, it sounds like your baby is fine. But now you have to make a very big decision. You have two lives to consider in this situation...yours and your unborn child's. The baby is depending upon YOU to keep him/her safe, and I feel that the best way to handle this is to STAY AWAY FROM your boyfriend altogether. I know this sounds difficult, but believe me, this person is NOT worth agonizing over!

The only reason that he keeps calling you and apologizing is that you are not there and he has nobody to dominate anymore. This man WILL NEVER CHANGE. I was a victim of abuse myself and although I wasn't pregnant at the time, I was convinced so many times by his apologies that I would go back, only to suffer more abuse by his hand.

PLEASE, don't go back to this guy! Don't let him fool you into thinking that he will change. I know you don't know me, but please believe me! What you should do is seek out a family member, a priest, or even a woman's shelter. If you do not know where a woman's shelter is, the local police will be able to direct you one, as most local churches.

Please make sure that you tell them you are an expectant mother as well so they can help you in this regard as well. You don't need to go through this alone, and you certainly don't deserve to be abused! NO woman deserves this!! You will be fine, and in the future you will find someone that will love, respect and care for both you and your child; a man that will treat you right and never hurt you. Bless you, dear. I wish you luck.

Answer 3

The emotions you are going through right now are hard on you and your baby's body, but less hard than what you would be going through if you had stayed with the abuser.

I know what you are doing is the hardest thing you have ever done, but it is also the smartest and the best for your baby. His apologies shouldn't be enough to make you come back... almost nothing should. Maybe if he went through several months of counseling and anger management courses, and I mean MONTHS of them, without having any contact with you, just to know that he was bettering himself whether or not you would be in the picture when he was done, then, maybe, MAYBE you could be with him. (But I still wouldn't.)

A good way to know whether or not your baby is okay is to call your doctor and tell him about the situation. Tell him how hard it has been emotionally and physically on your body and express your concern for the well-being of your baby. There are a lot of things he can do and a lot of medications he can prescribe to make the situation a little easier on you that are safe for you to take while pregnant. Good luck! You are doing the right thing!

Answer 4

The baby is fine and will likely stay that way IF you stick to your decision. Seek help at an abuse shelter, they will know exactly where you need to go to get CONTINUED protection from your abuser once teh baby is born for BOTH you and baby. There are steps you need to take NOW to protect your child after it's born. If you do not he will likely gain some form of visitation and the cycle of abuse will continue with your child as it's next victim. If this isn't reason enough then you really don't want the relationship to end.

Answer 5

While it's true that stress and depression can cause problems with pregnancy, you need to weigh out which situation is more stressful, being with the abuser or leaving the abuser. Speaking from personal experience, pregnancy with an abuser is much worse. Let's face it... leaving him is going to cause days, maybe weeks of stress and unhappiness, but staying with him is going to cause possibly years, not only to you, but to the child. An abuse agency, family, friends, co-workers, anyone that can give you support is crucial. An abuser will use any means necessary to continue the cycle of abuse, whether it be apologizing, talking about the baby to tug at your heart strings, ANYTHING! Make sure to let your dr. know what has happened so they can make you feel more reassured about the baby's condition. Your doc can be an excellent support person as well, so start there.

Answer 6

Your doing the best thing by leaving him. Hes going to try and talk you into comming back by saying hes changed, but its the same line they all use, and if you go back then your life will be h*ll all over again. You need to stay strong for the baby. You should go to the doctors to make sure the baby is okay. If you dont hae insurance go to Planned Parenthood or something and they will help you. Good luck!

Answer 7

I went through the same thing I am 24 wks pregnant and my childs father became abusive 2 months ago. It was hard to get over the idea of me going through the pregnancy alone.Take a moment to think about what is more important? yourself and your baby or you being with your baby's father and putting yourself and your child at risk. He can cause you to miscarry or for you to become depressed. Neither is good for the health and development of your child. I say you leave him alone and take care of yourself right now. A good way to forget about him is to go out. Go to the movies or to the mall. Keeping yourself occupied will help you forget about being with him. Well it worked for me. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 8

Ask you parents or siblings for help if you can. Keep the baby but get away from the abusive father. He still has to help financially one way or another. Seek solace in God and pray often. Stay strong, you will delight in your child.

Answer 9

Only way I can think of for you to stay strong is to think of the baby. You do NOT want your child to be raised in a home where there is abuse. Protect your child and stay away from abusive relationships at all costs. It's one thing for you to put yourself in danger and it's another thing to knowingly expose your child to it.

Answer 10

The baby should be FINE. if you are really worried get checked out. BUT NEVER got back to him... he will taught you and say he is sorry but he will do it again. You need to believe in your self and that you can do anything with out him.