I need woman to woman advice?Is this normal?

Question

Well i'm 19 and have been married for 6 months. I started having sex with my husband a year before we got married but we had dated a year before that. Anyway he has been the only one i have been sexually active with. No one knows but i have never had an orgasm. I don't know if thats normall or if maybe i'm doing something wrong. I just want to kno that thats normall and that i don't have to get an orgasm and its ok. Does every women get one? Or are there some like me that don't ? Please help and tell me what could it be. I do enjoy sex and its great and i have tried different things and never gotten one.
Thanks so much!!!
xoxoxox

Answer 1

Wow ok, every woman should orgasm, it's not you, i mean yeah you might have a difficult time of it, i suggest try going on http://www.cosmopolitan.com. They have awesome articles on you helping you to get there and also him helping you to get there too. Usually woman have the easiest time getting there by sex w woman on top as you can maneuver yourself better and i would also have him try manually pleasing you by your clitoris, which is how most women have to get off. but yeah, check out some of the articles on cosmo and you'll find some good ones ( : good luck
Here's a specific article called why don't i orgasm
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/sex/Reasons-You-Dont-Have-an-Orgasm
and here are the links to all "O" tips on cosmo
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/search/fast_search?search_term=orgasm&x=0&y=0

Answer 2

To a certain extent, it's normal to not have an orgasm...all of us have had sex without orgasm at one point or another, and most of us have enjoyed it, nonetheless. Especially when we're young and inexperienced, as you are...much of this is not knowing our partners or ourselves well enough to do things "right".

That said, I must insist that you tell your husband. Whatever you do, don't fake it! For one thing, it's reasonably insulting to a man when you do...for another, life is waaaaayyy to short to go without. If you let him know that you haven't yet had an orgasm, perhaps he will work harder to help make this happen for you.

Honestly, I thought I was doing it right, but I didn't have a real orgasm until several years after I started having sex. Most of this was not because anyone was doing something wrong, but because the men I was with were not doing the >right< things. Do you, or does your husband, stimulate your clitoris during sex? If not, you should start right away...that is a HUGE contributor to female orgasm. Do you tell your husband what feels good to you? And if so, does he respond appropriately? Or is it just a few minutes in bed, where you're too uncomfortable with the subject matter to discuss it? This is not uncommon at all, but lack of communication is probably the single biggest obstacle to women obtaining orgasm.

The beautiful thing about marriage is the real and true intimacy that you find with each other...Enjoy it, and know that the more you can open yourself up to trust him with your feelings, the more intimate the two of you will be, which will only help with your sex life (among other things).

Go to the adult bookstore, or find a book online if you're too embarrassed to walk in (keep in mind that anyone who sees you there is there for their own reasons!). Find books that discuss not only different positions, but also different methodologies for orgasms. Try these things together...talk to your husband openly and honestly about how each did or did not work for you. I'm certain your husband will be more than happy to try something else, if one or the other isn't working!

Answer 3

Some women have more difficulty than others acheiving orgasm. Most of the time, though, it's more from lack of understanding of what they need rather than a physical inability or mental block. The good news is this means it's relatively easy to fix the situation.

First off, be honest with your husband. If he doesn't know you're not being sexually fulfilled, how is he going to help you fix the situation?

Sometimes it's as simple as changing positions. Is he willing to vary it up a bit? Some women find it easier to orgasm if they're on top, or in the doggie position. Talk to your husband about what you like and dislike in sex.

Do you know where your clitoris is? This is the thing that needs stimulation if you're going to orgasm. How much pressure you need to exert and for how long varies from woman to woman, so experiment a bit. Don't be afraid to masturbate, either. If you know what feels good when you do it, you'll be better able to tell your husband what you'd like him to do for you.

There are a lot of good websites with factual sexual information on the web. Try looking up one of them or buying a sex manual from your local bookstore or Amazon. Knowing more about how your body works can help a lot. Good Vibrations is a shop that promotes good sex and sexual knowledge. They cater to 'nice' women and have an amazingly helpful staff. They also have a web presence. I'd recommend checking out their site.

Really good sex isn't something that happens overnight or spontaneously for most people. Like so many things, it's a skill that can be learned. So get studying and have fun with your homework!

Answer 4

There are different types of orgasm. Some women cannot handle direct clitoral stimulation and some women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
The absoloute best thing you can do is tell your husband that although you hoave thouroughly enjoyed your sex life, you feel like you havent reached your climax yet. I can almost guarantee you that he will go all out to make sure you make up for lost time....i know you said that sex is reletivly new to you, seeing as you have only been doing it for a year and a half, but i lost my virginity 10 years ago today and i have learned that if you dont learn what you want and then ASK for it, you wont get it. and i bet you telling him what you want will turn him on....
goodluck!

Answer 5

You're normal. It's not impossible for you to get one, you've just got to get some practice at it. I was a virgin at 21 when I married my husband. However, I wasn't sexually naive because I had been masturbating since I was 15. My closest friends told me that they had never had any orgasms but I had lost count. Maybe what you need to do is get familiar with your own body. Masturbation is not shameful or wrong. You will get a better knowledge of how your body reacts to different sensations. Once you're able to give yourself an orgasm, you'll be able to have them all the time. You just need to relax and get to know how your body works. Don't be afraid to order a battery operated boyfriend either, they work wonders for helping you achieve orgasm. I shop at www.lovepotions.com They ship fast and their products are amazing. Not too pricey either. Comes in discreet packaging too. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, your husband knows... some women have totally fulfilling sex lives without orgasms, but others don't... Just like people, they come in all forms, and no person experiences things the same.
A very good book to read, and share with your husband, is "For Yourself" by Dr. L. Barbach. It will at least open your eyes....
You two are young, and have a LOT of things to discover together! Just enjoy being together....

Answer 7

Ok, you need to first dicover things about yourself. This is done through masterbation...by doing that you will discover what will make you have an orgasm. Go to an adult store and buy one of those pocket rockets...it's a mini vibrator for clitoral stimulation. I almost guarantee this will give you an orgasm. Once you figure it out tell your husband how you like it and how to do it properly so that he can give you an orgasm(oral sex, the toy, etc..). I'm slightly disappointed that he isn't trying to give you one. If you try the toys and still there's nothing then I would go see your doctor.

Answer 8

Ask him, (Or show him and hope he gets the message) to touch your clitoris during the actual lovemaking. You will get there. To have an orgasm just with penetration alone is a hit and miss affair, some girls have none, some have 6, some have one long one.
If you have a long foreplay session to relax, then if clitoris stimulation is done, you will orgasm. Then you can build on whatever methods etc. you like.
Most importantly, do not worry about it, because your mental concerns need to be brushed aside to allow total enjoyment.

Answer 9

It took me several years to achieve an orgasm. Once I did though, I figured out what worked and made that happen each time I had sex. It will happen, your still very young.
Perhaps try to get him to pay a little extra attention to "you" before you actually have sex, just for some extra stimulation.
Good Luck

Answer 10

If you're fine with it then it's ok. But most women do have them. There are sometimes where we are left out, but that is the one thing we are trying to achieve during sex. What I would do is look for new things to try (look online, you can learn alot), then talk to your husband about it. If you can't achieve an orgasm, talk to your doctor.