Has she really got agoraphobia, or just winding me up?

Question

My mom claims to have this condition, but seems able to get alcohol by just going down the road from her house. She is also able to get on the bus to her friend's house 2 miles away, but can't get to the church 2.3 miles away (she claims) and drives me mad about it. So is her condition the real reason she can't get to certain places, or is it a case of she can if she really wants to? It is so annoying. Does anyone deal with a relative like this?

Answer 1

This is a tricky one.First off has she been diagnosed by a doctor with this condition? A doctor would not diagnose a person for the fun of it. I know where you are coming from but people with this don't like certain situations it's the nature of the condition. They can do certain thing's fine but other thing's have them crippled. I know it can be confusing and frustrating but this is how it get's people :)

Answer 2

She may well have it to a degree
it differs
but why the church thing? Maybe she just does'nt want to go there or is avoiding someone who makes her feel uncomfortable, alcohol is her crutch so It may be time you or someone else has a talk with her, dont get mad, she could genuinely have problems. Ask her nicely when she is sober and not the day after drinking, at least one day after if possible. Alcohol has really negative effects on people for the entire day following cosumption. Bet she's in a better mood 2 days after drinking?
Ask your family doctor what you can do to help her.
Good luck.

Answer 3

There are all different degrees of agoraphobia. Some people can walk/drive down the road, but can't go past a certain part. Some people don't leave their house at all. Some can go places as long as they have somebody they trust with them.

Look for symptoms of agoraphobia like panic attacks, nausea, sweating, shortness of breath etc.

I know it can get annoying especially of you're not sure if she's telling the truth or not, but agoraphobia can be a debilitating illness. There are people in their 20's 30's etc that are housebound because of it.

Hope you find the answers you're looking for. Maybe try talking to your mum if you can.

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Can I just edit this to reiterate that you don't have to be housebound to be agoraphobic. That's a huge misconception and I get so peed off when people especially people that work in health care keep getting it wrong.

Answer 4

I have a hard time going to places that I am unfamiliar with. I can drive 40 miles to work, but I can not go into a store that is 2 miles from my house. Your mom could be BSing you but she might have panic attacks in places she is unfamiliar with. I will avoid just about any place I'm unfamiliar with unless I am with someone I truly trust, then I still may have a panic attack.

Answer 5

Hey...
My mum actually suffers from this...
However she hasnt stepped out of the front door for about 4 years...
I dont think your mum is making this up...
Its probably due to how she is feeling and where she is going...
She may find it easier to go to some places or she may not feel like it sometimes...
Im sure its not a case of them not wanted to leave the house...My mum really wants to leave the house...its that they feel they cant...the emotional pressure that comes with it is much stronger...
I wouldnt doubt your mum because she could probably do with someone to turn to right now...
Let her know your there for her and encourage her to go out...dont make too big a deal of it shell do it in her own time...
Look at her going out as a positive thing rather than finding reasons for it to be wrong...
I understand where your coming from because it must be very frustrating but hang in there!...
Xox..

Answer 6

Just recently I came across this
http://www.pdrhealth.com/patient_education/BHG01PS17.shtml
Specific Phobias
Diagnosis
Basics
Specific phobia is a persistent, irrational fear of particular objects or situations. Specific phobias are the most common of the anxiety disorders, affecting approximately 7.0% of women and 4.3% of men during any six-month period.
Most specific phobias, such as the fear of large animals, the dark, or strangers, begin in childhood. Many of these phobias cease as people get older. Some phobias, such as the fear of rodents, insects, storms, water, heights, flying, or enclosed spaces, typically develop later in life. Phobias of a traumatic origin can occur at any time during a person's life.
Although people with specific phobia can often cope by avoiding the feared object or situation, specific phobia is cured by exposure therapy. Antianxiety drugs give individuals temporary control over a phobia, but do not cure it. Insight-oriented psychotherapy may help to identify the conflict that underlies a specific phobia.
# # #

From the phrase “ affecting approximately 7.0% of women and 4.3% of men” my guess is that this is hormone related as women need 20-30mg progesterone per day and men need 10-15mg progesterone day.

This is why there are quite a few illnesses that have with twice as many women as men having them.
I believe much more general terms for “phobia” are “anxiety” or “panic attack” and this site seems to suggest I am pointing you in the correct direction.
http://www.womentowomen.com/depressionanxietyandmood/anxiety.asp This seems to another very good site and towards the end of the page
Anxiety relief: natural treatments for anxiety

All this is good advice (thank you for leading me to this site :-))

This gives some background on stress
http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/aboutstress.html
Virginia Hopkins was one of John R Lee's co-authors.

This link takes you to a suggested saliva hormone testing route
http://uk.geocities.com/[e-mail]/willim_001.html#W_180

1 do an on line hormone test
2 do an appropriate saliva test and obtain results
3 get results & discuss with a NPIS doctor or educate your GP/MD

I have various links to other sites on this
http://uk.geocities.com/[e-mail]/willim_001.html

Unfortunately it may be difficult to have your mum do the saliva test. How you succeed in having this carried out may be your biggest hurdle.

I think your mum just has “panic attacks” about certain things some happen out doors so it is called agoraphobia it is the particular circumstances / people that are stressing her not the fact that she is outside

I have been in similar situation. In answering your question I have put most of the pieces together. Again thank you for leading me to the “womentowomen” link

What appears logical to your mum will not appear logical to you. Arguments can occur you are wrong and she's right - it will be that simple for her. (this is hard to bear)

I hope this helps you in some way.

Answer 7

Some things are within her comfort zone, some aren't. She can get to the store and her friend's house because those are different than having to sit in church for an hour.

Answer 8

A close friend of mine is agorophobic, yet goes to work every day, its a case of leaving your comfort zone, your mum feels ok about the trip to her friends house, and the trip to the shop, but the thought of any other trip freaks her out, its a wierd condition, my sister had it, she could visit our mum tho, but couldnt make it to the school to pick her kids up, so research it, so you can help her, shes probably not making it up!

Answer 9

i didn't know what agoraphobia was, but i've looked it up now and it sounds like my mum too!

my mum has work just across the street (luck ey?) but constantly she has panic attacks about going there and ends up running to the bottle getting away with it!
She's willing to buy alcohol but when it comes to work, oh no.
she's also done it with many other places such as her really good friend's funeral!
im confused with whether she doesnt want to go or cant go aswell =/

Answer 10

My mum is like this, she's now virtually blind and can't walk very well, and when she wants something, she's angoraphobic and can't do anything, but when she's got a point to make (ie about the state of he house to the authorities, and her claiming she doesn't need state help) she can do fine!!

Parents huh?