He announced in a cruel way 6 weeks ago on our 10th anniversary that he doesn't love me. He went into counseling right after, but still emphasizes he 'needs time'. It is so unfair for me to sit home "waiting", doing dinner, cleaning, laudry and caring for autistic child while he has to make his "decision" if he is divorcing or separating or staying with us.
2007-07-05 05:28:30 · 10 answers · asked by JanK099 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
WELL TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, WHY STAND THERE IN DO ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE TELLING US YOU DO FOR HIM . PLEASE DO YOUR SELF AS WELL AS FOR KID A FAVOR/ AND LEAVE HIM A DIVORCE PAPER AND HAVE HIM PAY FOR CHILD SUPPORT FOR THAT CHILD UNTIL THAT CHILD TURNS 18 OR 19 YEARS OF AGE. STOP HURT TING YOUR SELF LIKE THAT. YOUR SOUND LIKE A VERY NICE WOMEN THAT HAVE BEEN DONE WRONG BY HIM. FIND SOME ONE THAT YOU CAN FULL IN LOVE WITH AND CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR KID ALSO.
P.S.
I HOPE YOU FIND LOVE SOON / BECAUSE IT SOUND LIKE HE ALL REALLY HAS.
2007-07-05 05:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by map 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are just seeing the tip of the iceberg right now, usually when a husband announces the "I don't love you anymore" its only after he has become involved with someone else.
I guess the first thing I would do if I were you woul dbe to get to the bottom of what's really going on.
Only then can you evaluate if you want to stay in the marriage.
If you can't find out what is really behind his decision, then I would say try to get into marriage counseling.
At the same time you have to start looking at what boundaries you need in place to keep yourself from getting hurt, feeling used and taken advantage of. You need to picture in your mind what is a sane stable envirnment and what limits you need for that to happen. Having an open-ended time table for him to make up his mind is not fair to you.
You can ask for a time limit on him making up his mind, you deserve that. He may need time, but you also need some information. Also, don't be afraid that if you ask for a date, that you are pushing him away or forcing him to make a decision to divorce that he might not make if given more time. What he is doing right now is selfish, keeping you in a high state of anxiety and fearing the future with its many unknowns. I don't see his extreme selfishiness changing just because he is allowed more time...
Some good online support groups:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/copingw-divorce-separation/
2007-07-05 07:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by MASE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His time was up the minute he said he no longer loved you. YOu are right it is unfair for you to basically be reduced to being his house servant. You could always make the first move by consulting a divorce attorney, because even if he decides he all of a sudden loves you again, you need to know what your rights are in case he changes his mind about you yet again.
2007-07-05 05:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he not working because of his heart attack? Does he feel too sick to hold down even a part-time job? If so, that sounds like the "in sickness and health" part of your marriage vows. Since you have to go on medical leave too, have you two thought about moving into a smaller, more affordable home or cutting back on household expenses? If you are getting super stressed you may want to speak with a therapist on your own if your husband is unwilling to go with you. You may also want to speak with your doctor or find other ways of destressing such as creating relaxation time for yourself, going to church, etc. The affair nonsense just sounds like he is worried since your relationship is faltering. A counselor could probably give you good advice.
2016-05-18 23:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's time for you to take control and make the decision for him or tell him you need his decision now so that you can move on with your life. Of course you have a child to consider.. But is it really doing that child any good to be in an invironment where his parents are no longer in a loving relationship?
2007-07-05 05:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Tara R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would not want to stay with anyone who told me he doesn't love me anymore. I know ou have a child together, but it's very hurtful to continue being with someone who told you he doesn't love you anymore. Don't wait around for him to tell you he's divorcing you. Start thinking about your life as if he's not going to be in it anymore and make plans for youself and your child. This man doens't deserve your love. Move on! Best of luck to you.
2007-07-05 05:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by anonymous100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb! I'd never stay with someone who came right out and told me he didn't love me, especially on your anniversary!!! He's selfish. Ask him to move out.
2007-07-05 05:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by jane dough 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont wait for him, Kick him out and tell him you expect the first child suport and allimony with his next paycheck.
2007-07-05 05:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him about 10 years!
2007-07-05 05:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself into counseling right now. You are so angry you are about to explode. Don't worry about what he is going to do, worry about what you are going to do. This man has said he doesn't love you. What are you waiting for?
2007-07-05 05:32:07 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋