Stay at home parents, working parents, what do you think of this article from Babyzone?

Question

What do you think of this article? What are some other bennefits that you have found of staying at home?

Article:

What are the advantages of being a stay-at-home parent? Some experts in early childhood development believe there's no subsitute for the consistency and nurturing of parental care especially if the alternative is poorly funded daycare. Two studies published in 2003, one conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and the other by the Institute of Child Development of the University of Minnesota, found that kids who spent all day in daycare had higher levels of stress and more agression than kids cared for at home. As a Stay-at-home parent, you'll know that your child is being cared for by someone who's going to be around for a long time - not a caregiver who might take another job next onth. And you'll be directly supervising your child's care, making sure it's in a relaxed, nurturing environment (please see continued blow)

(cont'd) - And you'll be there to see all those "firsts" which can be incredibly satisfying. Says mom Molly Olsen "Staying home with Ezra allowed me ot really focus on hima nd be in touch with his emotional and physical milestones. I'm glad it was me and not a teacher who saw him sit up or laugh for the first time." (cont'd below)

Margie Johnson, who's been a stay-at-home mom for 24 years — with seven kids — says staying home has fulfilled her more than anything else could. "It's the most rewarding 'career' you could ever have," she says. "You're irreplaceable to your child, and you're making an ongoing personal investment that will outlive you."
For some families, it's actually less expensive for one parent to stay home than it would be to pay for childcare. (Read more about measuring the cost of staying home.) And if you can afford it, you may find that staying home reduces your stress level. Many parents decide to stay home after trying unsatisfactorily to balance work and family. The long hours and the feeling of cutting too many corners leaves them feeling burned out. Staying home will give you more time to spend with your children, maintain your home, and help keep your family life running smoothly.

sorry some of the words are messed up on there - it didn't copy and paste too well. :)

Answer 1

First off, I believe that this argument will never end. LOL!

I stay at home with my boys. I feel I am giving them all that I've got because our time with them will be so limited. While those are my beliefs I know that many other people do not feel that way.

I agree with the article to a degree. I never really noticed it until this week when a new mother attended out playgroup. She had quit working [she had just been separated from the military] and her son had been in daycare since he was newborn. That's okay. Her son was very anti-social and clung onto her like crazy. She said it was because he is so afraid that he'll be left in daycare.

It's just an instance and I do understand that this doesn't go for all kids who are in daycare but I found it interesting. I always thought that daycare children would be more social and adapt well to these kids of situations. However, it was the complete opposite. Again--I know this doesn't go for all daycare kids. It's just something I noticed.

I can understand what he was going through. He learned to ‘rough it’ when he was little in daycare. He didn’t know how to share because he was so used to kids stealing his toys so he protected them. He didn’t want to leave his mom because he didn’t want to be left. He started crying immediately when he entered the room. This was their first encounter with other kids [in a daycare like setting] since he’d been in daycare.

I think the issue can go both ways. The child could either end up like the boy I mentioned or very independent. It all depends on the kid. However, I know that I’m being the best SAHM I can be. I keep my kids VERY social--we are involved in two playgroups and swimming lessons. They have never had an issue playing with other kids and have never had an issue with clinging on to me.

I think all of the stereotypes need to end. Each child shouldn’t be categorized into one lump group but seen as just one child. I hate the stereotypes of stay-at-home-mom’s kids and working parent’s kids. They aren’t true for every child and like I said--need to end.

I hope this helps! Sorry it was so long!!

[I also agree that *many* [not all] married working parents could afford to stay at home. It is a choice in lifestyle not necessity in most cases.]

Answer 2

My children are cared for during the day by their grandparents, so I have no problem working.

But you know, I really despise articles like this that don't help anything but make working Moms feel guilty. Most Moms work because they have to, and the ones that don't can generally afford better than the 'poorly-funded daycare' which is the only daycare the article mentions, as if there were no other.

Not all Moms CAN stay at home and not all Moms want to. But articles like this care nothing for the mother's well-being or mental health or financial situation.

Shame on the author! To present a completely biased, one-sided argument in order to guilt mothers into unhappiness just to promote what the author thinks is best for everyone! One size does NOT fit all and the writer deserves a bonk on the head!

Answer 3

Staying home full time isn't for me. One, I have to work. Two, even if I didn't, I would like to at least part time in order to have some "me" time that would also be beneficial to the family. I don't feel I would be good as a complete stay at home mom. Yes, I would love to stay home more with my daughter, but that is not an option right now. Luckily, we are fortunate enough to have a woman up the street as our babysitter. My daughter has been going to her house for the past two years, and it has been great for her. Yes, I do miss things she does during the day, but I've been lucky enough not to miss her 'firsts', like her first step. She is in a very good environment, around good people, and she has had many opportunites that she wouldn't have staying home with me. I do agree that a child should be raised by someone loving and caring, in a consistent manner. Daycares don't always provide that, as mentioned. I do think that if the daycare is right, the experience is not much different or worse than staying home. It's all about finding the right person or people to care for your child when you are not able to.

Answer 4

I was a SAHM for 3 years. My husband and i both felt it was best for our daughter and we dont have family members that were willing to babysit for free while i worked. The way/hours my husband and i worked would certainly not be accomidated by a daycare or any babysitter that i know of. When it came down to it i just couldnt stand the thought of leaving my baby with a stranger. We struggled for a while, but we made sacrifices and my job became accountant and budget master and we got by just fine. We managed vacations, concerts and even bought a new house all on ONE income. It IS possible, it CAN be done, and we DID it. However when my daughter was 3 i was ready to get out of the house and so was she! She needed to be around other children more and i needed to be around other adults more. We put her in a preschool and i got a job at a bank with great hours and decent pay...Since we can make it on one income my checks are extra. We are all much happier although my house is not as clean as it used to be, we love it! I may not have as much time with my daughter, but the time we do have is MUCH more valued and better used. I am 3 months pregnant with #2 and plan on staying home for the first year, but I will go back after that.

Answer 5

I honestly didn't read the whole thing. I work 50 hours a week and I have done so since I found out I was pregnant with my first. I have two now and one on the way. I have not missed any of my two kids firsts. I was lucky that I didn't. I do agree however with most of the article. The only thing that stood out was that you don't miss the firsts. My friend is quitting work and staying at home because she said she missed all her kids firsts, I am not sure how considering she only worked 30 hours a week and she worked 4am till 11am. Her and her husband are not financially stable and I feel that she is taking more away from her kids than if she were to be out working to help pay bills.I rather have my mother not stress about bills then to be at home stressing all the time.

Answer 6

There are plenty of reputable childcare establishments that provide a nurturing environment for children. I know it is difficult with the economy the way it is for some women to stay home with their children. I do not believe that they should be condemned for trying to provide a stable life for their children.

I am a stay at home mother. My husband works insane hours to make ends meet, but for us, the cost of daycare for two children under the age of two was an extra mortgage payment. I would have been working just to pay for daycare.

I LOVE staying at home with my children and feel extremely lucky that I have the opportunity to be around for all of their "first" moments and snuggle with them anytime I want. My rewards are hugs and kisses instead of money...and I love that, but PLENTY of well adjusted children are in daycare and I am disgusted that anyone would insinuate that these kids are more aggressive and stressed. I feel that the article makes Mothers that can not stay at home with their children feel badly. Mothers carry enough guilt on a day to day basis and should not have to listen to this bologna!

Answer 7

I think the article is correct, however sometimes staying home just isn't an option. I would LOVE the opportunity to stay home and spend my days running after him, laying him down for naps, teaching him all he needs, but with the cost of gas, food, and the overall economy rising it just isn't possible.
Fortunately for me my dad watches him so I DO still have the "constant caregiver" however he does lack the child interaction. I try to make up for it by making playdates with friends and family, but I can see the difference.
It truely breaks my heart to know that my son is a little behind another child that's parent(s) stay home, but that is just life.
Hopefully some day the economy will be more for the working mom & dad and not so much for the business and rich.
I ebvy all of you stay-at-home mommies, and I ask you to treasure every second you get to cherish with them.

Answer 8

It's probably true but I dont know any bennifits from staying at home because I work. Maybe working parents should take more time off to be with their kids. I could choose to stay at home with my daughter but I need the money to pay rent and stuff. She's in daycare until I get home at 4 and I feel really bad about it. I'm going on maternity leave now so that will help.

Answer 9

I believe that you first have to answer the question, "why did you have a child or children in the first place?"
If the answer is because you want to share your life with this child, then you will inevitably want to be a stay at home parent. Being a good parent is being totally unselfish until the child is on his own. When we have children and still put our needs and wants first, then we are being selfish and we will justify our choices. But being unselfish means putting off our carreers, fancy cars and homes, and just living within a one income home. This will allow the stay at home parent to really care for the child. There is no substitute for hands on parenting and homeschooling. Even if you don't home school, you will have the time and energy to be active at his school and to know what is going on.

Answer 10

I agree with the article. I made the choice to stay at home with my kids to give them the best possible start in life. I worked in a daycare for 4 years and I would personally never put my child in one. The employees are underpaid and have way to many kids to care for to give the individual attention needed to any one child. I do know many women are unable to stay at home with their kids, I just feel if you can make the sacrifice you should.