Earlier this month, we went on vacation. During the vacation though, my dad came up to me and said, "Son, do you hate me?" I said, "No, of course not." Is their any way I can fix this problem, any suggestions. I don't like to talk to him though cause whenever I do, it just seems that he is not listening, so anything I could do besides talk to him, like action wise and what not? Please help me!
2007-07-05 05:04:03 · 11 answers · asked by kingpin202 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ask him why he thinks you would hate him and go from there.
2007-07-05 05:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal I think for a parent to think their child hates them at one point or another. If your Dad is a man of a few words it took him alot of courage to ask. There are alot of men who don't know how to talk so they are quite, it may seem like he isn't listening but I would be he is. Besides communicating verbally you could try being interested in something he is, or help him out. For instance if he is working in the yard, go out there and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Better yet, just pitch in and start helping. If he has a hobby read some literature on it and ask him questions about it. That may open up a new relationship for you two.
2007-07-05 12:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by hootie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect the reason he asked you that question might be because you don't talk to him. Try telling him you've been thinking about why he asked you and that you'd like to talk to him about it. Then tell him the reason you don't talk to him is that it seems like he doesn't listen. He may not realize that he comes across that way. Your telling him would give him an opportunity to correct that. If it's affecting you it's probably affecting other people as well. Then open up a conversation with him. You may need to remind him as your talking to pay attention but if you do it in a joking way, he'll get the picture and try harder. It sounds like you'd both like to have a closer relationship with each other so why not try to make that happen. Good communication is always the best way to go.
2007-07-05 12:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you identified why he feels that way in your question. You said that you do not like to talk to him. You also said that it seems like he is not listening, do you listen to him or do you just talk and not listen? Why not go and ask your dad if just the two of you can go grab a six-pack and head down to the river, lake or where ever and have a talk. Just ask him to tell you why he would ask such a question and then you need to do something real hard. You need to LISTEN to what he says. Don't get offended and upset, just listen to him and see if there are ways you can work on it. I am willing to bet that he is going to tell you that he feels like you do not even want to talk to him and you avoid any kind of conversation with him. It is obvious that it matters to him, because he asked you that question. If you two can learn to talk and listen, it will open up a world for both of you that you never knew existed.
2007-07-05 12:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if it seems he isn't listening when you say "Dad, we need to talk" then turn off the TV, take the playboy away from him what ever it takes and ask him what it is that makes him think you hate him. If life goes on just as normal perhaps it was just a random question. it happens.
My ol' man thought I hated him for the longest time. but when those moments later inlife come along that is just a perfect example of a son loving his father it's rather surreal.
2007-07-05 12:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by AJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your dad asked you that question I seriously doubt that he expected to hear you answer "yes dad, I really do hate you".
If I were ever to ask my son that question it would be because of his actions toward me. Perhaps in the tone of his voice when he speaks to me, or some other way he treats me, or the attitude he would take when I ask him to do something for me.
Maybe your dad asked you that question because he felt you were treating him in a way he would expect to be treated by someone who hates him, & it was his way of communicating that to you.
If you honestly feel that your dad doesn't listen to you, then it would be a fair & honest thing for you to tell him as such.
2007-07-05 12:17:10 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find things to talk about with him each day. If he doesn't seem to listen, try asking questions instead. Ask him for suggestions about things happening in your life. If he works on things around the house, ask if you can help.
2007-07-05 12:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter and tell him how you feel about him. Usually that question comes from guilt. Did he do something wrong, or was there something he could have done better, that he feels guilty about? You have the option to forgive him, if you have. Maybe he needs to hear it, and writing is easier than talking some times.
2007-07-05 12:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you guy's not talk or do anything together? That might be a reason. Hang out with him more often, or just go up to him and straight out ask "why do you think I hate you?'' and work from there.
2007-07-05 12:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by kelsey049 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well for one its good he asked and not sat there wondering
If I were you i would bring it up and say ...;remember you asked me if i hated you... why do you ask?
and then take it from there..... parenting is hard and growing up with parents who are always busy is hard...
at one time he was a child, a teenager, and a young adult .... so trying to understand him might be a way to go....
sometimes asking for advice will spark an interest in him and he feels valuable to you if you take his advice so ask him something in general that you know he knows about ....
2007-07-05 12:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by addictiverendevouz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋