Are there any snooping parents out there?

Question

Should parents feel guilty for snooping in teenagers room?

Answer 1

My oldest is only 10 but you can guarantee I will be a Class A snooper once she's a teen, lol. I'd much rather be a "mean mom" and know what my daughter is up to, then be a nice mom, only to find out from the police, or morgue that my daughters have been killed, beaten, raped, used drugs......

Once they reach adulthood, the snooping will stop.

Answer 2

as a teenager my mother off the bat never trusted me FOR NO REASON! Alot of her friends daughters were ****-ups so i suppose she didn't want the same to happen! she would tape record my phone conservations,read my journals,and follow the school bus! As a result she spent so much time on me she didn't notice when my younger sister came up 4months prego at 17! I never had trusted her,and never came to her with problems or concerns! I went to my father,grandma,aunts or friends mom! The whole time my mother never understood!I believe if a child gives you reason then snooping is then is alright yet i believe that a child should feel that they have some privacy and can talk to you about certain things,that way you don't have to snoop!

Answer 3

I am the mother of a 12 year old daughter and 11 year old son, and recently me and my husband have been discussing this very subject, where is there a line of invasion of privacy and trust (as we all want our children to come to us if they need us) and where is the line for real saftey concerns. We know our daughter keeps a journal, but I have had no need or concern at this time to take a look at it. Shes just getting into the stage where shes telling us she has a *boyfriend* and we have sat her down and explained the birds and the bees in an elaborate form so that she is aware of how babies are concieved. We have also explained to both children that there is nothing they can not come to us about, whether its good or bad, there will be no conciquences if you come to us FIRST! Our daughter did come to us and told us she heard at school some things about sex. We were glad she came to us and we answered her questions honestly and also explained the consequences of sex and things of that nature. My children trust me and thier father so much that they have had thier friends come to us with things that they felt they needed help telling thier parents and we have always been there. At this stage I see no need for snooping and taking the only freedom they have away from them, on the other hand if I suspect something is going on, and I get ill response from my children I might be inclined to snoop because first and foremost I am their mother and along with that it is my duty to keep them safe.

Answer 4

If you have concerns - snoop. You're responsible for their lives while they're growing and sometimes you need to know more than what they give you verbally about what's going on. Hopefully your relationship with your child is such that you don't feel the need to snoop very often, but there are just too many dangerous influences to let them do whatever they want. If you never check on their lives (snoop), that's what you'll be doing - letting them do their own thing.

Answer 5

Yes, if the teenager has given you no cause for concern. When I was a teenager, I could have left my diary (if I had been consistent in having one) out on the living room coffee table and all my mom would have done is close it and return it to my room. As a result, I really trusted her. And I was more willing to come to her with problems.

On the other hand, if you have good reason to believe that your child is doing something that could cause him/her harm, then it is imperative that you find out. I just think that you should really believe that there is a problem before you go snooping along.

Answer 6

I do not believe in snooping, I think it serves no good purpose, and teaches your children to not trust you. My children always knew their room was their private territory. However, there were requirements attached to that. They had to keep my trust was the biggest one. We started with the premise I could trust them, and built our relationship from there. They knew if I ever found a reason to not trust them the rules would change. Maybe I was lucky, but I never had reason to look around their rooms, and had it become necessary I would have done it when they were present. In my mind snooping is a big negative underhanded thing I do not want my children to learn. I want them to lean honesty, responsibility, reliability, and trust. This is done by teaching them these things as they are growing up so that by the time they are teenagers they know how to act.

Answer 7

I wouldn't feel guilty as long as you don';t go into lets say his/her diary/journal as that's more private. But a room in your home is your property. I don't think you should trash the room on a crazy hunt for stuff, but casual snooping while putting laundry away could help you find out a lot. If my parents had done that to me when I was a kid I would probably be dead right now..lol.. I kept all sorts of bad stuff in my drawers because I knew they wouldn't look.

Answer 8

Under what pretense? If u suspect that ur child may be in danger (getting heavily into drug's, alcohol, etc) then yes, snooping is ok---but only so u can intervene & help ur child. But, if ur snoopin for the hell of it, then shame on u!!! How many of us, as teen's were pissed off at our parent's (in my case, my mother) for snooping for no good reason? We felt disrespected, invaded & betrayed!!! And, in turn, it made us even sneakier & less trusting of that parent. So, remember how it made u feel then & ask urself if that's what u want to have ur child feel about u. Ur child is entitled to privacy & respect---just as we all wanted at that age. NOT snooping will encourage trust between the two of u. Snooping may cause damage to the relationship...i.e. "TRUST!!!">>>ZETA

Answer 9

i agree with Widows, don't feel guilty. It's your responsibility as a parent to keep close tabs on your children. Especially teenagers, who, through the agonies of biology, become very estranged from adults, including, perhaps more so, their parents. These same growing pains can lead young people in all sorts of confused directions that they might regret later. Love and discipline are what guides children into a well rounded adulthood. A parent's job these days seems increasingly more difficult. It's true that kids NEED to make their own mistakes, but it's a parent's responsibility to make sure that said mistakes are ones to learn from, rather than ones that the whole family must later live with.

Answer 10

When I was a teenager, my dad would search my room. I never really understood this, as I didn't have anything to hide (didn't do drugs, smoke, drink, porn, or whatever he was looking for). On the other hand, he never searched my little brother's room when he was a teenager, and the boy kept a case of beer in his closet and a bottle of vodka (a big one too) in his desk drawer. I never quite understood that. But, I guess it's a good way to know what your kids are up to and if there's anything that you need to address with them. You also have ever right to care enough about them to know what they are up to and if they might be getting into any trouble or if they're headed down a dangerous road (i.e.; drinking, drugs, smoking, porn), what you find in their room can tell you a lot. Maybe do it when they're at school so that you can find out what they're really up to, that way they wont' have time to move anything. You just sound like a concerned parent! I wish more parents cared enough about their kids to know about what's going on in their lives and take action to do something about it! Good for you and God bless! :)