Me and my fiance became very close when he was married to his first wife but did not have sex while he was still with her. He left her 2 years ago, they're now divorced and we are getting married. It It was quite an acrimnious divorce as she knew he was leaving her for me but it has got better over time and we now speak civilly about things such as childcare for his two small children who we have every other weekend. She was especially gracious when my h2b told her that we were getting married (I DID NOT want one of the kids telling her!) wished us luck. The kids are in the wedding and my question is really, should we invite her? She's 10 yrs older than me and has been so adult and civilsed for so long now when she could have been a total ***** to me (I realise it's a total cliche that he left her when I'm so much younger and was his PA!!) . We're not best friends or anything, and she probably wouldn't even want to come but should I invite her?
2007-07-05 04:04:19 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The best thing to do would be to invite her.Show her that you have no hard feelings or prejudices. She probably won't come but it's your back up. She might be insulted if you do she might if you don't. But keep everyone happy and on your side. Discuss it with your fiance first as he should have a say in the matter. Invite her and keep the peace for your own sake.
2007-07-05 04:12:11 · answer #1 · answered by Acasia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-18 22:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since there is very little bad blood between you two, at least offer her the option to decline. Invite her.
In fact, include a personal note thanking her for being such a mature adult - and how much you appreciate her strength and graciousness over this whole situation.
But then again, look at what you're getting - a man who cheats on his wife - and has no compunction about replacing her for another, much younger "trophy." Some bargain.
2007-07-05 05:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, do not invite her. Even if things are going better between the three of you this will still be very hard for her to watch. I am sure she will understand and probably really won't want to be there anyway. It will probably also make some of the other guests uncomfortable and keep them watching to see what happens between all of you, Leave the stress and tension out of your day, you'll have enough anyway, and do not invite her. The attention should be on you, not her. Congratulations and best of luck.l
2007-07-05 04:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by GPHS 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say no.
A wedding is about 2 people starting their life together....whether it is 2 people or 2 families blending. At some point during that day, someone is going to feel awkward whether it be an inlaw, your husband or you. This day is about the 2 of you.
Make sure the photographer takes a nice portrait picture of the kids and have them pick out a frame for their mom and that should serve the purpose just well.
2007-07-05 04:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by jenla1217 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ex-anything really has no place at a wedding. But who will be taking care of the children. It may be necessary that she attend.
You were wise in having your fiance tell her of the wedding.
I performed a wedding yesterday (yes, the 4th) & the ex was there for that very reason. She was VERY gracious.
It is up to you, but I wouldn't do it.
I'm sure there are still some undealt feelings that she has about your relationship. This is a happy occasion. Why take the chance? Especially if there is to be alcohol at the reception.
2007-07-05 04:23:57 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would invite her as you would any mother whose children you would be having in a wedding. She will need to keep an eye on the kids during the reception, you and your husband will be a little busy to be running around after the kids. Best wishes on your upcoming wedding.
2007-07-05 04:19:57 · answer #7 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes invite her and leave it up to her to decide if she is comfortable enough to come. I was married to my ex for 17 years and basically grew up with him. We had a very amicable divorce for the sake of our son and he is now my best friend. I am inviting him and his gf and will leave it up to him to decide. If he comes I will be very happy and if he doesn't then I will understand.
2007-07-05 04:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no...you are being gracious by even considering it, but no. That would be the very definition of awkward if she DID come...I would aim to make sure she does not have to do much running around for alterations etc for the kids'...that is definitely adding insult to injury.
Good luck to you! Like I said, it says a lot that you are even thinking in that direction.
2007-07-05 04:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by jmd72inva 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No...why should you invite someone just because they were nice to you? Do you want to invite store clerks that are nice and polite when they don't have to be? Just because she's the mother of his children doesn't mean she should be there. Everyone would probably feel uncomfortable if she showed up anyway.
2007-07-05 04:09:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋