How can we include our baby girl in our wedding?

Question

I am getting married in November. My fiance and I recently had a baby girl who is 4 months old. I'd like her to be a part of the wedding ceremony, but I don't know how to go about it. Does anyone know the best way to include her? Do you know where I can find suggestions for the wording in the ceremony?

Answer 1

Be prepared for last minute changes, but here's what I would do:

I'd get a really dressy bassinet or carrier and decorate it to match the wedding. Then, have a designated person (maybe your maid of honor) carry your daughter (instead of a bouquet) down the aisle at the beginning of the ceremony. Then, after you get down the aisle, have the preacher/priest do a short speech about your new family and how the joining of the two of you represents a whole new family, not just the two of you. Then, have a grandmother or other responsible person take the baby to the back of the chapel. If the baby starts crying, the person should have somewhere out of hearing range to take the baby. Most churches have a nursery. Have it opened and be prepared for your babysitter to have to use it.

If the baby gets too upset, make sure the person is able to take the baby and babysit either at their house or yours.

I would not have the baby at the reception. If you have to pay a professional babysitter for this service, do it. That way, no one in your family will miss the ceremony or the reception. You could possibly see if someone who is a licensed daycare owner or worker could do it.

Don't forget that you'll probably be at the reception late. Make arrangements for the baby. Will you pick her up late at night or leave her at the babysitter's until morning?

Also, if you do dress the baby up fo the wedding, have comfortable clothing that the sitter can change the baby into as soon as possible. This way, the baby is less likely to fuss. The poofy dresses they sell for babies are adorable to us, but they are often scratchy and uncomfortable for the baby. :)

Good luck and congratulations! :)

Answer 2

I don't know why people are being so negative about this. I think it is wonderful that you want your daughter to be there. It is not just the two of you getting married, but the three of you coming together as a family. Weddings are celebrations to be shared with loved ones. I think you can have a special blessing as a family after the vows have been said. She should be at the wedding. Have her wear a beautiful dress and she can be carried in by a bridesmaid, or by you when you come down the aisle. I like the wagon/carriage idea too. For the reception, you may want to hire someone to watch her - either take her home and babysit her there or to watch her at the reception. Maybe try to find someone who is watching one of your guests kids. This is your day, include the special people in your life. Your daughter is obviously a special person so you'll find a way to make it work. Good Luck & Congrats.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry people are poo-pooing your idea, I too prefer childless weddings, but if I had children of my own I couldnt even imagine getting married without them present no matter how young.

Do you have a sister who wont be in your wedding? If so I would ask her to hold the baby during the ceremony, 9 months is too young to be actually in the wedding going up the aisle in a wagon I think, even though it would be cute. I would panick that she might roll out of it and get hurt. Maybe your sister can carry her up the aisle during the times that the mothers are being seated. Then maybe during the vows you could do something like have her brought up to you both and do a special family vow, I know thats popular in weddings with step parents and step children, maybe even though she is both of your biolgical baby, is would be nice to include her that way, then you can turn and instead of being introduce as mr and mrs you can be introduced as the "Smith Family" or something like that.
As for the wording I am not sure where you would find it, speak to your minister, they may have something for you to work off of already, but if not they will surely be able to help guide you in the right direction.

As for the reception, it might be a good idea to make arrangements to have her taken home, that could prove to be a late night and at 9 months kids dont enjoy going off their schedules that much, so you want to have a plan set in place for someone to whisk her away to bed so that you dont have to worry about her. That can add stress to any mom, and you will already have enough on your plate to worry about whether your baby is properly taken care of.

Hope this helped a little.

ETA: I just wanted to add that I dont think in this instance this would be a job for the gramdmothers. The mothers are guests of honor at weddings and they usually act a sort of hostesses for guests, I would recommend a sister who is not in the wedding party or a super close friend or even a close cousin to do the honors at the ceremony.

Answer 4

With the understanding that I know its your day....blah, blah, blah.
A baby doesn't belong in the ceremony or even at the wedding, the noise, tension, late hours and too much stimulation invariably makes them scream and cry, even if they are the best babies in the world, then the bride has to take care of the baby and believe me, you have enough nerves not to need baby spit up on the wedding dress. Its a nice thought, but highly impractical. A wedding is between two people, baby might make three, but is not included.
Particularly in the ceremony although you might ask the officiant to mention something about your child in the part where he speaks to the congregation just before the ceremony.

EDIT
Speaking as a grandmother, please don't lay this off on a grandparent, we are dressed up too, and even the most doting grandparent might not want to be used this way and leave a ceremony for OUR child in the middle if the baby gets cranky.
A wedding ceremony isn't a family vow, if it were we would always have babies before ceremonies. Marriage is a sacrament between two people, not three, or four if you had more kids before marriage. That's why you don't have them mentioned in the actual ceremony.

Answer 5

This is something you should be discussing with your minister/officiant. They should know what to do.

At the end of the ceremony you could have a baby dedication or a family blessing.
Or you could have her be a bridesmaid. All she'd need is a fancy dress & someone to carry her down the aisle & then whisk her off someplace else.
I did a ceremony 2 weeks ago where the baby was ring bearer, but the poor bridesmaid had her hands waaayyy tooooo full.

Answer 6

Your little girl will still be way too young to be part of a wedding, at 9 months old by November. Most likely she will cry at some point during the ceremony, which will be distracting to you and your guests. Having a newborn in your wedding does look tacky, as a previous poster mentioned.

The best way I would suggest for you to have her part of your wedding day is to include her in the pictures. Have a responsible adult babysitter bring the baby over to the church AFTER the wedding, have pictures taken of you, your husband and the baby...then have the babysitter take your daughter somewhere quiet, away from the wedding/reception.

This way you will have pictures, you will still be able to enjoy your wedding, and your guests will not be disturbed by a crying baby.

Answer 7

It's a bit tough considering she's so young...

My husband & I have some friends who got married a few years ago. She had a son from a previous relationship. The three of them exchanged rings and vows...They not only vowed to be faithful as bride & groom, but to love, honor and cherish each other as a family. You could include something like this in the vows that you & your husband make (even though she clearly can't join in!).

Answer 8

Are you sure? I mean what if she has colic or isnt feeling well and cries throughout. This ceremony should be about you and your new husband and I fear distractions could take your focus away from your new husband. She is certainly not going to remember it. I know you want her near you but I would consider a sitter at least for the ceremony if not the reception. It is a gift you should give to your fiance.

Answer 9

The suggestions about having someone pull her down the aisle are very good..I put my neice & nephew in my wedding when the were 1 & they didnt do that bad.You could have someone setting up front pretty close to get her if she gets fussy.That is what we did & it didnt disturb anything..Dont listen to thse people telling you not to put her in it.It is your big day & it would mean a lot more if she was included ,im sure..Congratulations!!

Answer 10

well, i'm a wedding planner. if you really want to have her in the wedding, depending on your theme of your wedding, you can place her in a carriage or of something that sort. and have a little boy pull it along. basically she's the lil princess. you can also have someone carry her down the aisle. also couples usually have a special part in the ceremony where they give the child a token, (necklass, or bracelet etc) and place vows to them, of being thier parent and how they now 1 family or something of that nature.