How do you rid yourself from the opinions of others?

Question

In my last question, i asked if you could be rid of one influence in your life what would it be? The majority of the answers, I noticed, had something to do with the opinions and thoughts of others.
Why do we let people live "rent free" in our heads and how is it that we rid ourselves of the control of others opinions? I would be intrested to hear everyones thoughts and opinions as well as their spiritual belief systems as well.

As usual, please no bashing. Only sincere and honest answers.

Blessings
)o(
Trinity

I was told a long time ago, that what other people think of me is none of my business....usually i can adhere to that. However there is one individual whose talk has caused me great pain in the past and I think that i am fearful of that happening again......

Answer 1

Hope I can help - people take others inventory until they can take their own....

Today's thought is interesting:
http://www.aroundthetables.com/ViewPage.php?pageID=1088

Resentment is revisiting anger and hurts that other have done to us and these may be a few minutes ago or 42 years ago.

We react to what other people are saying or how they are treating us.

How do we change this on the inside??

First - we do not need to accept a person's reality as our own. They as we have different views on things and we need not to put so much weight on another person's negative view.

Second - The message is always about the sender. If a person feels threatened by another or feels jealousy they will send negative signals to the other. The message is about them and what they see or feel. There may be some validity or have a point though if a person does this to attack or deprecate then it is being done out of some form of fear.

Fear - People often feel insecure or are simply lazy and attack others. Finger pointing and manipulation are two signs of this mental state. It is about them and what they think is right or what they want and this we can react too.

Jealousy - A person may feel jealousy about another person's relationship, ability, or possessions and so attack or negative inventory a person if they can find a weakness somewhere else.
Again this is about the person that is giving the opinion and not about the person they are inventorying.

Some people are just sick. There is mental sickness, emotional sickness, and physical illness.
Emotional and mental sickness causes people to say and do things that hurt others. email

See: below link two...
"This was our course: We realized that the people
who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way
these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.
We asked God to help us show them the same toler-
ance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully
grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said
to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful
to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be
done." We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't
treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our
chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all
people, but at least God will show us how to take a
kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.
_____________
These opinions people give can disturb us but we accept these people as sick and on a course of life that they need to be to learn. Often these hurtfull people are very sick.

Link one gives a real nice printout in the printer friendly version.

Answer 2

Dear Trinity,

A great answer from Batgirl (name ?), she was right on! I have a mantra: INAM, which stands for It's Not About Me, and I use it when I think someone is getting in my head and I am feeling guilty an angry or whatever. Also, asking the person about the situation can be enormously helpful. It may not be what you think it is. Also, you get a lot of really nasty karma from people who are vain, greedy, mean, etc., so you do have to consider who you are dealing with.

Case in point, the answerer named Evolved or something like that. Her answer to you here was mean spirited and could upset you, but consider the source. She is probably unhappy, or maybe she is a naturally opinionated or disagreeable person who nobody likes. In that case, I would feel sorry for her, because she has to live with herself and can never escape herself. She is entitled to her opinions, and you can get rid of her unpleasant opinions by doing all of the above.

You are like me, a sensitive soul. I too have to learn this lesson many times in life. It is an ongoing challenge, but you can do it.

Bright blessings,
Lady Morgana )0(

Answer 3

Why are you allowing the opinions of others to "control" you? Don't interpret this the wrong way, but nothing or no-one controls you that you don't let do so in the first place. If someone else's opinion is a strong and informed opinion and causes you no discomfort, chances are you should follow up on it to see what new way of understanding something you can benefit from by considering it thoroughly and researching it as well.

Answer 4

Because we are supposed to put others ahead of us and that worry is a sign that we are good. Many of us have been told that we should know our place - meaning that someone else's feelings or thoughts are more important than our own. At some point in our life we started to show our ability of independent thinking - but more important folks which demanded respect tangled up their feelings with our thoughts and told us not to play up.
On the other hand it is a part of the deal, because we all want to be seen and acknowledged. How do you rid yourself of other peoples opinion? Just don't look for it.

Answer 5

The world would be a very boring place if we all have the same way of thinking. The beauty of life is exactly in the differences among all. Even when we do not agree with someone, there is no need to reject the person. The only way we can "demand" respect, is respecting. Sadly, I believe what you say about the answers you got, I've noticed it around here. If you don't agree with someone, be ready for the rain of insults. If God, for believers, or nature, for non believers, would have wanted us to think exactly the same way, there will be one brain for everybody, and it's not the case. Each one of us have a separate brain, and as long as we don hurt, in any way, other people, there is nothing wrong about our disagreements.

Answer 6

you must not ever base your lifestyles on what different persons suppose. persons will also be hurtful and imply on rationale, and except, all people's view of cosmetic is unique... so initially, pamper your self. deliver your self a makeover.... a couple of flattering new garments, paint your nails, make your make-up beautiful, get an strong hair reduce and colour. then perhaps appear within the reflect, and even though u do not particularly suppose you appear well in the beginning, simply hold repeating to your self that you just appear strong or repeat something approximately your self that you just real DO like... suppose and repeat it like a mantra. ultimately u will honestly think that u do appear well. as opposed to that, i suppose discovering anyone that loves and adores you undoubtedly is helping, however that is now not continuously handy to discover rapidly. You would continuously do some thing that you are particularly well at, and exhibit it to others in order that u get compliments on the way to support you suppose effective and completed and something.... i suppose that is all i will suppose of for now. simply bear in mind, you're lovely and strong on your possess approach.... if we had been all of the equal then there would not be an "strong" or a "lovely" for the reason that we would not recognize the change, so love your self and who you're, continuously. :)

Answer 7

Eleanore Roosevelt said--"No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow it." And because I tend to be a "people pleaser", I have let what other people say about me really bother me--in the past, that is. Once I got older it just got too exhausting to fret over what someone else thinks of me. And as I grew older, I grew more self confident and knew who I was much better, so that others opinions didn't matter so much anymore. I think time and maturity takes care of this problem. Blessings!

Answer 8

"Consider the source" is the best thing to do. Realize that no one can truly control you. No matter what anyone thinks about you, you know who you are.
One of The 4 Agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally." It's about them...not you. When others attack you for your beliefs or for who you are, you can realize that that person is probably unhappy with himself or herslef and so chooses to be unkind to others and to try to make them unhappy.

Another is "Don't Make Assumptions."
If you have questions about what someone says, ask that person. He/she may not mean you at all, and you will have been upset needlessly.

This is a great question! Star for you!

Answer 9

Allowing others thoughts and opinions to have control over your own simply means you have been conditioned on what to think and believe. Only way to become free of worldly conditioning is by becoming observant (objective) to your own thoughts, opinions and feelings. This is best learned through meditation......True freedom means moving from a personal place of awareness to a transpersonal place.

Answer 10

It seems like you're asking an opinion; but it seems necessary to have a clear idea of what one is doing,
and just discourage others from opinionating. As well, not to be a hypocrite, it would seem necessary to stop offering opinions.

If i was a follower of some discipline I would have to search that out so I would know what doctrine to follow, rather than having to ask people.

There would be a lot less chit chat.