Is it ok to NOT send thank you cards?

Question

I get gifts of like $20 or $40 from my old neighbors in jersey. They even bought me a cake last summer when it was my 18th bday. I was floored and I thanked them VERY much. I tahnked them over and over and over and over again (literally) because I never like to send thank you cards. I guess I'm just lazy...but I don't want to seem like a spoiled brat!

I really do thank them A LOT when they do things like this for me, but I mean a thank you card for $20 when I can make that much in 2 hours of hard work? I'm thankful but...I'm confused?
I'm even going as far as to have my mom suggest to them this year that while I'm there (for my 19th), that I'd prefer it if they didn't do anything for me (lies!) because I don't want to seem spoiled and I HATE thank you cards.

Opinions on my "situation?"

Ok now I'm nervous about this upcoming summer.

I'm afraid they mightve been pissed from last summer and will give me one of those cares with nothing in them, which is a distinct slap in the face with a hinted comment of "THATS WHAT YOU GET YOU LOSER!"

I'd rather get nothing because I prefer not to send a thank you card! That's how much I hate them!

I'd rather be a boy than a man when it comes to thank you cards

Answer 1

I'm not very much into thank you cards either. If you have thanked them over and over face to face it should be enough.

Answer 2

And here I sit, the opposit. I am so thrilled if someone even remembers my birthday and sends me a card, with or without a gift, I can't stand it. They get a thank you card.
Somebody gave you $20? Wow, that's nice. I make more than that an hour, but I work hard for that money. $20 I didn't have to work for would bring happy tears.
Here's a story. My aunt, from my childhood, until I started making a nice salary, sent me two bucks, and a nice card, every year for my birthday. She did not have much, she was on a fixed income, but to a lonely child, that was a fortune. Couldn't wait every year to go spend it, usually on music. And every year, she got a thank you note, telling her thanks, and telling her what I would spend it on. She asked me one time if I spent it on what I said I was going to, yes, I did. Years later, I decided it was time for payback, I added up the amount she sent me over the years, and mailed her a check for that amount, with a nice letter and card. She was flabergasted. She took the card and the letter to her ladies social group, and showed them.
What goes around, comes around. You never know, someday, someone might send you a check, from a remembered kindness you did them, many years ago.
Learn how to write a thank you note, and send them. People really appreciate it, and remember it. If you said thank you, thank you... it was probably enough.
And hey, it is supposed to be the thought that counts. Not everyone is rich, and can afford a big gift, you got this from a neighbor? Wow. All my neighbors do is let their dogs bark all day, burn holes in my yard with fireworks, vandalize my yard, and drop garbage, and hide beer bottles in mine. and, oh yeah, they don't speak to me.
Ungrateful sounding, you are.
Tell the neighbors, in a jovial way, with a laugh, that you are so spoiled with the birthday gifts, please cut it out before you have to go get a bigger hat size, because you think you are so important that your head swells with pride. `Maybe they will get the hint.

Answer 3

Sending a thank-you card is good form.

The thank-you card is a simple acknowledgment of someones thoughtfulness. For a few cents, a couple minutes of your time and the cost of a stamp - you can tell someone they are appreciated.

In the alternative, if you absolutely cannot bring yourself to send a card, and would otherwise be doing nothing at all - leave a phone message a day or two later, thank the person (again) and perhaps mention that you are looking forward to spending the gift card at ____(wherever). This could also be done via email, but again, this is the alternative to doing absolutely nothing at all.

Everyone appreciates a little extra acknowledgment, and for the small investment of your time, it is well worth it.

Answer 4

There's no rule, but some people would much appreciate a 'Thank you' card or gift, to understand your delight at their thoughtfulness etc. You sound really fortunate to have such generous people thinking about you, and treating you so well.

Most people don't interpret thank-you cards as old fashioned, or representing particular kinds of people, just see them as a time-honored method to signify gratitude.

It sounds like they have really gone out of their way to give you gifts, which will mean a sacrifice on their part. In Jersey, thank-you cards will cost about $3, so it's not allot to repay them with - and their memories of you will remain fond. Otherwise, buy them some lovely flowers, or some other inexpensive gift. You could even offer to take them for tea etc. in a coffee shop - they might show you some parts of the are that you haven't experienced before too!

Overall, there are no fixed rules on gifts, but as they've gone out of their way, why not make this small financial gesture to offer something in return. If you're sincere about not wanting to seem like a spoiled brat, selfish, thoughtless etc. then it won't take much effort to 'put your money where your mouth is', as they say. Best of luck!

Answer 5

Etiquette would state that sending a thank you card is the right thing to do. In this day and age, some people send e-mails. I send cards, or a write a personal letter.

As for the future, just because they are sending the gifts to you doesn't mean you have to keep them. My grandmother still sends me birthday money, but I know she can't afford it. I haven't cashed a single one of those birthday checks since I was 18, and I won't again. Thank them graciously in some way, and return the money if they continue to send it.

You're an adult now. Its not your mother's repsonsibility to take care of your business, either.

Answer 6

Send the thank you. It will take you all of about five minutes of your time, and cost you, what, 41 cents in postage?

A written thank you is a sincere form of gratitude. If someone has done something nice for you, even thanking them profusely in person isn't sufficient. You need to write a note and send it.

It doesn't have to be a novel. A simple paragraph thanking them for the gift, and letting them know what you plan to purchase, how much you appreciate their generosity, how good it was to see them and you can't wait to see them again is perfectly sufficient.

I realize you don't want to "seem" spoiled, but you do. Write the note.

Answer 7

Thank you notes are a quick, and in my opinion easy way to thank somebody. To explain my point of view, I think it would be easiest to explain exactly what I was thinking this whole time. When I saw your main question, I was going to answer, No. It is considered rude. However, since you did thank them over and over again in person, you may not need to. Even still, I would just send a simple card saying "Thank you so much for the gift. I really appreciate it. I really liked (a certain part). Thank you once again." Thank you notes are considered something nice, and everbody enjoys getting something besided billd every once in a while.

Answer 8

You may not want to SEEM spoiled, but there's very little doubt, from what you wrote, that's exactly what you are. It is definitely NOT ok, not to bother sending Thank you cards. These people were kind to you, not even family for goodness sake! and you repay them by mumbling a few "thank you's"!!! If you can't afford to buy thank you cards, then make some.
You obviously have a computer, how hard is it to find a nice piece of clipart, write a few heartfelt words, print it and send it? Get off your backside and do the right thing.

Answer 9

Nope, you don't have to get them a thank you card. But, they don't have to buy you a gift. You can buy a package of thank you cards at the dollar store and have a bunch of them. So it takes a stamp and a few minutes to say thanks. Is that such a big deal?...I hate to say it but you do sound both spoiled and ungrateful. They were gracious enough to take their time and send you a measly $20, the least you can do is take a moment to show some appreciation...If it's a pain, tell them to send me the money, I will be more than happy to send them a thank you.

Answer 10

When people go out of their way to do something nice for you, verbal thanks are fine, but now it's your turn to properly thank them with a written thank you. It's that added touch that will confirm your appreciation. If you think a $20 gift of money isn't worth a thank you card, then you are a very ungrateful "boy." I say boy, because a "man" wouldn't think as you do about sending a thank you card. You say you're thankful but confused. What's to be confused about? Perhaps your neighbors won't think you're worth remembering on your next birthday, thus putting an end to your quandry about sending a thank you.

Answer 11

I haven't sent a thank you card to anybody as long as I can remember. I'm 49-years-old and don't have any real friends. My family never talks to me or writes to me. I never get one single Christmas card or birthday card in the mail from anybody, much less presents!

I believe if I had sent thank you cards that wouldn't be the case. If you want to become like me, don't write thank you cards.

My SISTER stopped sending my little children birthday and Christmas gifts because I never helped them write thank you notes!

Lastly: Think how you want to be treated when you send people gifts! I think you would be tickled to get a nice thank you card in the mail! So, bite the bullet and write a card. All you have to do is buy 10 stamps, put them on the envelopes and have them all ready to go with your return address written on them. When it comes time to write one, all you have to do is sign it, write the recipients name and address on the envelope, lick, seal and walk out to the mailbox! You can do it girl!