My husband and I have always been open and honest with our children when they have come to us about sex or questions regarding puberty and how their bodies are growing. We currently have 4 kids and we are expecting our 5th baby in Oct so our older kids know the basics of getting pregnant and how the baby is born etc. My 14 year old asked me what abortion was, how its done, why someone would want to have one, and if I think its ok to have one. When I asked her why she wanted to know she had overheard some women at church discussing it and was just curious. I was glad she came to me and I answered her as truthfully as I could in words she can understand. BUT my husband thinks I was wrong to discuss it with her. So who is right him or me? BTW I believe that a woman should have the right to choose an abortion but I never would.
2007-07-05 01:38:48 · 18 answers · asked by girlzmommy 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Thank you all for very mature answers! I really appreciate it!
2007-07-05 02:38:04 · update #1
I think you did a great job explaining it to her. Think about how many girls her age are getting abortions--its better she find out from you about it then hear about it in the lunch room as if its something causal and not the serious life decision that it really is. I think its great you are able to talk to your daughter like that, many parents do not have that relationship with their children. I know when I was a teen kids who were sexually active would use prevention but if they got pregnant they would just say oh I'll get an abortion. Well its surgery, taking the life of an unborn child which more than likely they'll later regret and its a very emotional event--not something you just "do" like going to the mall so its important that teens understand the severity of the decision and how it can impact their life. A mature explanation is the best thing for your daughter and I applaud your honesty.
2007-07-05 02:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by jestic13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 14 years old it is an appropriate conversation. There are 14 year old out there in the position of having to have an abortion because their parents were not open and honest with them with regards to sex.
She is becoming a young woman, and these are issues that she is going to hear a lot about in the upcoming years, it is best that she is going to you and asking for your input. It is imperative to have an open dialog with you children about everything, regardless of whether or not the subject makes you a little uncomfortable.
2007-07-05 03:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by smedrik 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not wrong to talk openly about abortion with a 14 year old. If she's old enough to get pregnant and old enough to ask, she's definitely old enough for the answer. By talking with you, though, rather than her friends, she gets factual information along with your values. You did the right thing. I'm thinking your husband might be having a hard time accepting that his baby girl is becoming a young woman. Be gentle with him as you help him come to terms with this! :)
2007-07-05 01:50:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children ask questions that they are ready to hear the answer to. We firmly believe that in our house.
My children live in a home where we are constantly working with pregnant women and new mommies - so they ask a lot of questions regarding reproduction and health issues. My 7 year old asked me a few months ago about abortion after seeing a poster on it. We talked about it, where we stand as a family on the issue, and why we believe what we do.
If we don't answer our children's questions, they will ask someone else and someone else WILL. And it may not be the information you want them to learn.
2007-07-05 04:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right its good that you told her .At the age of14yrs she is old enough to know especially from someone like you rather than waiting for her to hear from somewhere else if something goes wrong the first finger will be pointed at you so its good that you told her and for your husband tell him the girl is growing she is not a baby anymore.Nice work dear dont carry the blame you did the right thing.
2007-07-05 03:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by mesy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you did is perfectly fine.If your 14 year old asked, then obviously they wanted to know. And if you don't tell them, I'm certain they would find out from some other source. So you did the right thing, your husband just doesn't see that. Good Luck with all of your kids.
2007-07-05 03:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you were right to be open. If you have sons, I hope your husband isn't so squeamish about discussing the OTHER side of the reproduction issue, like wearing condoms or practicing abstinence. Men have just as much responsibility to inform their teenage kids about things like that instead of acting like the girls are the ones getting THEMSELVES into trouble.
It takes two to tango.
My view on abortion is it is and should remain a LEGAL, personal CHOICE.
2007-07-05 01:48:36 · answer #7 · answered by Resident Heretic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be wrong not to discuss it with her!
You can be very proud that your daughter trusts you and cares about your opinion to the subject. To maintain what sounds like a great relationship with your kids, you should answer ANY question they might have truthfully.
Tell your husband that it's much better if your daughter gets information about topics like that from her parents rather than just from any idiot, who might influence her negatively.
My parents would answer any question I had and consequently there was never the need for a talk about birds and bees and so on. It has also taught me to respect their opinion and trust in what they say.
2007-07-05 01:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the age of 12-16 the child gets exposed to various aspects of the society.It would very helpful if you explain the child about the topic to the limit that it wont create confusion and the child doesn't go upto to an extant of asking about the topic to someone else.A 14 yr old child is mentally well developed to understand topics related to body and sex.You should go ahead and explain your child about abortion.
2007-07-05 01:45:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ashish . 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is 14, not 4. she has the right to know, especially as a girl that will one day be a woman. she needs to know not only the technical aspects, but also about how hard women have worked over the years to have the right to choose. i think that you're doing a great job as a parent since she came to you instead of her friends for an answer. so give it to her! if you want her to continue to come to you, you have to give her a reason to. good luck mom! you're doing great.
2007-07-05 04:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋