OK, What now?

Question

Here's the scoop, guys and girls, My ex and I were very intimate friends very soon after we split because he didn't want a committed relationship. We slept over each other's house, slept in the same bed, but have not had sex for a month. Now, because I expressed that I still have strong feelings for him, he feels like we are still together and he just wants to be friends and realizes that maybe he was going a little to far in doing so. He wants us to take a break apart so we can get our feelings in order, or rather I get my feelings in order. There will be no calls or texts until he is ready. What do you think? Can we be good friends or should I just give up a tight friendship and just be a friendly aquaintance? That is hard because I still love this man very much. Help

Answer 1

ive been throgh this before

if you love him that much, it will be almost impossible to just be his friend because it will kill you when he starts dating other women and you have to just watch

id say that its best for you to just leave him completely if you cant be his girlfriend

Answer 2

After a breakup, it's always a good idea to put distance between you and your ex because your feelings are still strong and it's almost impossible to get over that person if he's in your life all the time. In this case, you didn't give yourself that time or distance in order to get over him. You just jumped straight into a "friendship" - but to me, it sounds like more. I mean....I've had guy friends before and I didn't sleep in the same bed as them. To me, it sounds like your ex thought he could have the best of both worlds - sex with you for a while with absolutely no emotional strings attached. Now he's realizing there ARE strings. He's right - you two need some time and distance away from each other. It's not fair for him to keep holding on to you when he knows you still have feelings for him but he doesn't feel the same.

Answer 3

It's almost as if you're both attempting to orchestrate feelings so that they conform to the philosophy of your living arrangement; how does one get one's feelings in order? Lying in bed next to each other is an intimate gesture; it implies closeness and warmth, so your "feelings" are right on target; that's what one would expect to feel under those circumstances. It's your logic that's out of synch. with reality by forcing an emotional response from yourselves that's counter to the truth of your situation.(It's like laughing through a funeral...you could do it, but why would you?) If you no longer want to "feel" (which seems to be a debatable assumption, at least from your point of view), you have to cease exposing yourself to things that evoke those feelings. Truth is, you're not ready to let go yet, but you don't think you have any choice because he's already done so. Maybe that's right, or maybe it's not...after all, you weren't lying there by yourself. Maybe you two should try one last time to forget philosophies on what you "should" feel, and just talk about what you "do" feel, and see if there's common ground there you can work with. Good luck.

Answer 4

Sorry to say but I agree with him you need to put your feelings in check. Been there done that and until you are over those sentiments you will not be able to just be friends without the emotions interfering. Take time for yourself now.

Answer 5

hmmmm....well I'm not really sure.

Did you ask him if he loves you?
Did you say you love him?

If you did say you love him then maybe he's unsure of himself.Or maybe he still doesn't feel right about you and him since you were friends before.

I hope everything turns out well.

Answer 6

What Charles B said. Neither can change his and her feelings.