Baked Beans.Star if you like it?

Question

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy
and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought
to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentleman, he would never go for this
carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she
lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be
late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and
the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any
ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and
before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably
sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and
exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He
then blindfolded
her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he
was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,the telephone rang. He made
her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to
answer the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure
was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she
seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was
not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage

Keeping her
ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for
another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her
freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on
her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was
the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so
long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At
this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy
Birthday"!!!

Answer 1

This is one of my favorite jokes! It makes me laugh everytime! Thanks for the laugh!

~Candice~

Answer 2

Oh, that was funny. When I laughed I think I must have farted a little! And the moral to this story is:
if there is a certain air of distinction (dis-stink-shun) at your BD party you should always turn the other cheeK!

Answer 3

I love baking <3

Answer 4

That's a good one! How freakin embarassing! I's a wonder the guests didn't give away their presence by choking and gagging! Good joke!

Answer 5

well about three quarters of the way down i kner what the out come would be. have you seen that ad where the man picks up a girl in the car and when hes out the car she farts onlt for him to introduce her to his friends sitting behind her whom she hadnt seen.

Answer 6

I have heard it be4 but I laugh every time it is hilarious have a star

Answer 7

That has always been a great joke-and I liked the way you told it.

Answer 8

LOL I laughed hard on that one. Nice job!! Have a star.

Answer 9

hahahaha...and i`ll bet people invited to her bday bash never looked at baked beans the same way again!
LOL..

Answer 10

heard it be4 but it never gets old so ill give u a star 4 the good laugh LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaha. that is one of the funniest jokes i have ever heard have a star