Who would like to hear some good 'bible belt' jokes?

Question

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an
invoice,
so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He
called
her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of
Georgia
and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how
much
would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."

You gotta love those Georgia women.

********************************************************
Alabama :

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for
the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under
the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked..
"
Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail,"
the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
steal
Henry!"


********************************************************************
Louisiana:

A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the
world
comes I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd
rather
be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later
than in the rest of the civilized world.


****************************************************************
South Carolina:

The young man from South Carolina came running into the store and said
to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking
lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell but I got the license
number."


****************************************************************
Tennessee:

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked,
"Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


****************************************************************
North Carolina:

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one
behind
it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the
scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the
front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."

ADDED: Just so you know, I'm from Georgia. We do laugh occasionally.

cathorsec, i guess there's nothing funny happening in Mississippi,lol

rangedog, go ahead

Answer 1

After their eleventh child was born, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, so the husband went to his doctor and told him they didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor explained that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could solve the problem. He instructed the husband to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to ten.

The husband said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, doc, but I sure don't see how puttin' a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is gonna help."

Thinking it might be a good idea for them to get a second opinion, the couple drove to Georgia. The doctor there was just about to explain the procedure for a vasectomy when he realized they were from Alabama. Instead, he told the man to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to ten.

Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He then held the can up to his ear and started to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand ...

Answer 2

i do no longer know - perchance provide them a wreck. I communicate approximately that type of stuff with my girlfriends all of the time. perchance in some weeks they'll heat as much as you and vice verse. in spite of the undeniable fact that, in case you experience some racial discrimination, this is yet another tale. i could no longer think of being the only person of a definite race at a sparkling activity. it would be uncomfortable. i'm hoping they open their eyes and hire people who characterize our usa as an entire. reliable success!

Answer 3

LOL

I read all the answers (including the other joke by benoit - VERY funny!
Wendy b got lots of thumbs down for her answer but you know what? I would add that her answer is right on with one addition.... we can confidently sit in the company of the father and share some good jokes with Him as well....

LOL
blessings all :)

Answer 4

How can you be sure a Mississippi girl is a virgin?
She can outrun all her brothers.

How can you be sure an Arkansas girl is a virgin?
She can outrun the governor.

Answer 5

Where's the one for Mississippi?

Answer 6

In Christ we are given so many freedoms -- freedom from law,
sin, death, etc. But one of the greatest freedoms we have is to
boldly come before the Creator of the universe, the God of all time
and creation, and speak openly and confidently with him.
Incredibly, we mortals can enter God's world with our problems and
be confident that he hears us and cares about our concerns

Answer 7

those were cute - but they'll be deleted by the yahoo nazis soon enough

Answer 8

hehe

Answer 9

Permission to copy and paste to those on my gang list please.

Answer 10

good stuff