my step-son is a crybaby?

Question

i mean, over anything.....my girls are tougher than him.....how can i change this? it's too hard for me to deal with a whiney little boy....p.s. he is 5 years old and acts like a baby-girl.

his mom is youbg and his alcohalic aunt has cared for him until now.....he loves me more than his dad, and i am the world to him.

i mean young, he is 5 and she is 21.

Answer 1

I'm dealing w/ a 4 yr old whiny boy :D I feel your pain. Its his tone of voice mostly. WHen he asks for something my skin crawls! Lol I tell him that I can't understand what he's saying when he whines. So when he uses his big boy voice I will listen to him. He also whines over every little slight. "She got the swing I was thinking about using 10 minutes from now!" Kind of stuff. I ignore him. Completely ignore him. The most he gets from me is a "I'm sorry, go play." This is assuming that he has adequate attention from you and his biological parents. Whining can be the only way a child knows how to get your attention. Ignore the whining and for awhile overly praise him anytime he doesn't-- for example if he asks for a glass of juice without whining say "Oh sure! I'll get that for you, no problem, thanks for asking in such a big boy way!!" Annnnnnd cue huge smile :D Good luck, be constistent!

Answer 2

You know what, if the child has the home issues you describe, and do you think he doesn't feel the tension if you get upset because you have to "deal with a whiney little boy", he does. People put these children in such overwhelming situations, and then they expect them to suck it up and be better at handling things. Do you tell him the girls are tougher than him? And you say he loves you more than his dad. Well that's really sad, because maybe his dad should be there for him more, it is his son, and a boy really needs his father. He should not love his stepmother more than his father. That's where the problem is. You can take him to a counselor, or you talk to one. Before you try to fix the problem by telling him to stop being a whimp, or what ever method you might use. They may have some better ideas, and ideas that won't hurt his self esteem later on. Also there might be more than meets the eye with this little boy and help may go along way.

Answer 3

You answered your own question, You mean the world to him. If so, how would you feel if you wanted someones approval and you got criticized instead. He is young only 5. Sounds like he has had alot of unsteady change in his little life.He could use some reassurance, positive things said to him. EXAMPLE: I see that has made you very upset, how about if you and I take a walk, ride or a small outing and talk about it. You would be amazed how much he will grow up when he is treated with respect and concern. 5 is still very young, he may still need to cry sometimes. Then since you have such a strong influence on him, you can talk to him about being sad, mad or a little aggravated. Explain to him about how some things are just not worth crying about. He just wants to be calmed down,and some attention. At 5 years old he deserves lots of attention. Please don't compare him to girls, that will only hurt his feelings and make him think less of himself.

Answer 4

Obviously everytime he whines and cries someone gives him what he wants. He could also be a very sensetive child and needs a little extra understanding rather than a step mother who calls him names. What about his father? Does his father put him down and critisize him too? He is only 5 years old, he needs POSITIVE reinforcement not constant put downs and name calling. His father should be spending time with him tossing a baseball, or football, shooting hoops, taking him fishing. So far all I've seen from your post is that you call him a crybaby and you compare him to your girls. Not a very good way to build up a child's self esteem.

Answer 5

He's gotten a raw deal in life and really needs to have consistency. Since you are the most important person in the world to him now, you have to model patience and gentleness.

Some boys are very sensitive and cry easily. My oldest is one. He's 7 and he's super sensitive and will cry easily. It sometimes frustrates me, but I try to remember that everyone is different. I try to encourage the behavior I want. Like when he only cried for a few seconds after getting his shots, I told him he was very brave and was tougher than I thought he was.

I know it's frustrating to have a boy be so sensitive, but getting angry or chastising him will only make it worse. Instead, build him up and encourage him when he acts like you want. Teach him other ways of dealing with anger, frustration or pain. Things like screaming into a pillow, jumping on a trampoline, digging holes in a appropriate place will help. Remember though, that he may just be super
sensitive.

Be patient with him and let him bond with you. He's had a confusing life and he's only 5. Poor baby.

Answer 6

Well...it may help to sit down and try to talk with him to find out WHY he's so sensitive, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Are you sure HE'S the one with the problem...that maybe you're not being just a little too hard on him?

Little boys shouldn't be taught that emotions are something to be ashamed of.

Don't make him feel like he should be ashamed of being a little more sensitive than other little boys...that could be detrimental to his self-esteem in the long run.

Answer 7

It must've been tough for him living with only women and no male influence and he's obviously been pampered but its not to late to get him acting his age!
It can be true that the girls are thougher then him and he might not be a cry-baby he might just be upset about the true facts. Girls at that young age are fearless ( I know I was) they think they can do anything and they don't understand that boys will eventually grow up taller and stonger then them that its just how the way men and women are. Boys at that age are scared of girls we don't know why they're like that it's not uncommon. It's sexist to tell people he's acting like a girl even if you are a girl. I HOPE YOUR NOT TELLING HIM THIS IT CAN BE A MAJOR BLOW TO HIS SELF ESTEEM AND IT COULD EVEN ENVETUALLY LAND HIM IN THARAPY BECAUSE HE'S PROBABLY IN SECURE AND TO HEAR THIS FROM A PARENT(OR STEP PARENT) COULD MAKE HIM EXTREAMLY UPSET. But I never know how serious it can be if you feel that it is at a point that he is acting much to much like a child then try some of these.

Try rewarding him for acting like he's older if your really concerend. Like if he's acting like hes 3 tell him you'll treat him like he's 3 but tell him when he acts like he's a big boy he can be treated like a big boy. He can stay up later (like 5-10 min. kids don't care how much to them 10 min is alot!) He can have more time to play on his Play station or more time on the swingset in the backyard or extra time at the park.

He'll want the rewards more then getting treated like a baby and going to bed at 6:00 and take naps eventhough he's getting to big. If you really want to make him feel the message I say slap on some huggies and tell him that your going to change him from then on until he starts acting his age.

LOTS OF LUCK!!! :)

Answer 8

A lot of damage has been done already but it is not hopeless. While being raised by his mother and aunt he has been pampered to much and been given to much by simply crying since it irratated them as much as it irratates you.

Talk with a child psychologist and councilor to get the best help.

Had one grandson that was this way. He was a real handfull but we finially got him turned around by ignoring his crying and he would finially stop. He would then ask for help or what ever it was he wanted and things would be ok. It was some very difficult years 5-7, but we got through it ok.

He is now a very sucessful mortage broker.

Answer 9

I put my bot in football when he was 5. He played with 7 & 8 year olds. I toughened him up. But he was not a crybaby to begin with. You might try this.

Answer 10

From what I see here , there has been allot going in in his short life. For sure there has not been a stable home for him. As you compare him to you own children, he is a outcast still and not a part of your life and family. In short, a misfit. He wants love and is able to give it. Instead of trying to compare him with your children, treat him as if he really belongs. Show him affection, love and most of all he needs understanding. Ignore the whining, it will go away once everything in his life settles down. He is 5 already, if things don't settle down for him soon, his chance in childhood will soon be ended. Start a new day, love him for what he is and not what you think he should be. ( connie mom of 4 boys )