I am getting married next year and my maid of honour has decided to bring all her people to my wedding, bearing in mind I have to pay for food and the rental of the room.
Basically, she is bringing people who I do not know and they are some black artists who will preform some bashment music.. I dont want it kicking off at my wedding
I personally think she is using my day to promote her group.
What do you think of this?
2007-07-05 00:27:29 · 35 answers · asked by Rebz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the sort of music they will perform, I do not like, I hate bashment, because of the vile provacative lyrics... I really do not think that sort of thing will be appropriate for a wedding.
2007-07-05 00:30:37 · update #1
She also said that the people she is bringing, have partners, I told her to feed them if she is going to bring them.. she said they will not eat!!
I have sent her an email telling her I do not want people there that I do not know!
2007-07-05 01:02:26 · update #2
THIS IS WHAT I JUST SENT TO HER:
Do these people think they are coming to the actual ceremony as well?
I do not want people there that I do not know, I aint got time to figure out who people are and if there if going to be any drama on our day either.
I do not like Bashment and neither does Nathan.
Who is this ***** and ***** (NAME OF THE PEOPLE)? Am I going to meet these people before my day, I wish you mentioned these people to me before, I wish I knew what was going on for my wedding!
I am going to send out invitations for an elite few.
2007-07-05 01:17:42 · update #3
I am black myself, the reason why I mentioned that they are black is because they will perform their own songs singing about sex and using derogatory language about women and their bodies.
I have heard the music they perform on their myspace pages and I think it is vile.
2007-07-05 01:25:49 · update #4
I have told her today that I do not wish for her to be my maid of honour any longer.
2007-07-05 02:53:14 · update #5
totally out of order and tell her so
2007-07-05 00:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by Jody W 4 · 8⤊ 2⤋
She is supposed to be YOUR maid of honour, so she basically works for YOU!! She should be asking permission for everything she does unless she knows 100% that you will like it. Threaten to find someone else for the job if she doesn't back off as she will only ruin your big day. Fine, you may fall out with her as a friend, but that is a much better choice than a load of strangers crashing your wedding and making it and you ashamed of what is supposed to be a great time. Do you want people after the wedding remembering it for the fact that loads of people left early as they were offended by the music and behaviour? Think how Yours and Nathans families would react........they would be so hurt and embarrassed. You HAVE to put your foot down with this bossy cow and tell her NO!!!!!!
I'm getting married next month, and although I've arranged most things for them, some things I've given them free choice about. They still come to me with pictures/clippings to ask if it's ok - that is how it should be I think, include her but give her guidelines, don't let her take over!
2007-07-05 02:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I guess I'm not sure why she thinks she has the right to invite ANYONE to your wedding. YOU and your fiance make the guest list, she has NO say. Tell her you've already decided on music and entertainment for the wedding and you do not appreciate her trying to decide for you. How is this someone that became your maid of honor? This is not an example of a good friend. Put her in line before it gets even worse. I'm typically one to favor etiquette and say once the invitation into the wedding party is issued you can't "unask" someone but in this case you'd have every right to and if she can't respect your wishes you should.
It's one thing to have relatives you don't know or barely know at your wedding to make a parent happy, but it's quite another for a friend to invite a bunch of people you don't know. It's a wedding not a kegger!
2007-07-05 02:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who's wedding is it?? Stop her now and if there is problems then withdraw your invitation to her to be your Maid of Honour its as simple as that. She doesn't sound like much of a friend so she will be no lose. You want to look back on your big day with fond memories. I take it the invitations are not out yet so make sure you don't invite any of her friends. She is meant to be there to help you on the day not to take over.
2007-07-05 07:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An email is not going to do.
Ypu have to call her up or meet with her and be clear that you don't want strangers in your wedding and that you don't want that sort of entretainment in your reception.
Tell her that your decision is final. Tell her that this is an intimate affair and that you want it to become about something else. Tell her your wedding is by invitation only and that only her is invitated and that she doesn't have the right to invite other people to your wedding.
If she gets upset, kick her out of the wedding altogether, you don;t need selfish, pushy, tacky friends like that that are making imposition upon you.
Good luck
2007-07-05 03:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR wedding and not hers. You need to put your foot down and stand up for what you want. You have every single right to set the ground rules for the wedding, she's supposed to support you!!!!! My bridesmaids were similar (inviting people I didn't know) and I had to put a stop to it. You will regret it if you let her call the shots for your wedding day. If she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to go. She should respect your wishes. If she doesn't respect your wishes, then she really isn't a true friend and you're better off not having her there. Stand up for what will make you and your husband to be happy.. no one else!
2007-07-05 00:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by Love to Answer 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Tell her they cant come. Say you do not have the extra money to cover people that you do not know Say to her that you also do not enjoy bashment music and you feel it is innapropriate for a wedding. I think she is very selfish to think she can bring people to YOUR wedding...and it is your wedding and not hers.
2007-07-05 00:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Dee 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is YOUR day tell her not and if she insists then tell her shhe wouldnt want to be embarrassed when her people arrive and are turned away. If she throws a hissy sack her! simple as!!
JUst tell her its yiur wedding day not a promo for her if she don't like it then she can hand back the gown am sure you have lots of loyal friends who would stepo in help make your day the YOU want it.
Good luck have a great day =D
2007-07-05 00:33:18 · answer #8 · answered by angelrose0105 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all, YOU are the Bride, not her. It might be a good idea to talk to her and tell her that this is YOUR WEDDING, not hers. You will invite whom ever you choose, and if she doesn't like it, there is enough time to find a new Maid of Honor. She is supposed to support you and help you during this time, not making demands
2007-07-05 00:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by chris91068 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Really...I think it is entirely out of line on her part.
You seriously need to simply tell her that not only are these people not invited, she needs to tell them so. If they show up, they should be escorted out immediately.
Don't say, "don't you realize...", because apparently she doesn't. Don't say, "Will I have a chance to meet them?", because it shouldn't matter...they're not your loved ones, therefore, they're not invited! Don't say, "Do they think they're coming to the ceremony as well?", because they shouldn't even be coming to the reception.
Honestly...put your foot down and just say NO!
2007-07-05 08:05:34 · answer #10 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her those people are not welcome and they will not be allowed into the ceremony or reception. Tell her you are sorry, but she will have to tell her group they can't come...this isn't a backyard party or a beach party, where anyone can come, this is a formal event, and she had no right to invite people--the only people who can invite someone to a wedding are you and yoru fiance.
2007-07-05 01:58:00 · answer #11 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋