What do you do when your partner wants a dog, but you are only a cat lover!?

Question

My boyfriend loves dogs. He has always had dogs around when growing up, and he has always dreamed of having dogs when he finally moves into a house (we live in an apartment now).

I love animals, but I really don't ever want a dog. Especially a big dog, like my boyfriend wants! I don't want to insult any dog lovers, so I won't say why, but let's just say that although I like dogs, I'm more of a cat lover! In my opinion, having a dog is almost like having a child!

I'm just interested in people's opinions on this. I would most likely just say yes, because he's always wanted a dog of his own and I don't think it would be fair to take that away from him. Have you ever been in a similar position? What did you do?

We already have two cats :-)

Answer 1

I prefer dogs, so I'd break up with you : )

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with you not wanting a dog. Everyone has their own reasons so to the poster who claimed you must not be a true animal lover, I say stick it where the sun don't shine!
My BF was the same way. He'd never been around cats tho, so he just liked dogs and didnt know what to do with a cat. He has since changed his mind after spending enough time with my cat (who is 16) and realising that cats can be just as much fun as a dog. HE has recently even adopted a cat of his own.So now we have the 2, he still says dogs are his fav but he knows that since we both usually are away on the weekend, a dog just isnt feasible, whereas cats are so independant, and dogs, as you put it, really are like having a child.
You know, you could always tell him a little white lie (only you know the reasons why you dont want a dog) and say that as a child you were attacked by a big dog and you just cannot imagine ever having a dog yourself, as it would cause nightmares for you or something along those lines. I am not saying lying is good for a relationship, but if it comes down to "a dog or me", and this is the only point of contention in your relationship, well, maybe a little white lie wont hurt.
If you have a good, legitimate reason for not wanting a dog (fear, for example) then you shouldnt put your own mental health at risk, and if he loves you, he'll understand.
Lastly, he could always volunteer at a local shelter to walk the dogs, then he gets to spend time with dogs, play with them, etc, and it doesnt effect you in any way.
Good luck...
From another animal lover who prefers cats over dogs...

Answer 3

I'd make some time to talk with him and air your concerns. It sounds like you don't actively dislike dogs, you just prefer cats and think that having a dog is a big responsibility (which it is). Without saying outright that you don't ever want a dog, talk over the issues you have and make it clear that you expect him to take ultimate responsibility for the dog's care. Get this stuff out in the open before you say that he can have a dog and make sure he understands how you feel. It's equally unfair to pretend you have no problems with him getting a dog just to make him happy and then let your own unhappiness build under the surface.

Just as a little side note, I think way too much emphasis is put on people being either "cat people" or "dog people". I currently have neither, but I like both very much, as well as the two rabbits I do have.

Answer 4

My husband and I had 2 teen aged cats when I finally got my dog. My husband was on the brink of divorce, he did not want a dog. I brought home a 40 pound pit bull. Within 3 days, the older cat, Karl, was rubbing on the dog. Trixie, even today (2 years later) doesn't want a dog in the house. She doesn't make a fuss, just swears at the dog if she gets too close. And the dog has my husband wrapped around her little finger (tail?). Dog also has her own kitten, he's 1 1/2 years old now.

Go with to pick out the dog or puppy. If you can agree on a dog or puppy's personality, it would help. But give the dog a chance. Our 2 male cats love this dog, and so does my anti-dog husband. Just make sure your boyfriend understands that he is responsible for the dogs behavior.

Answer 5

Hello

Have you ever had a dog? If not they are wonderful pets and are always there for you. There have been dogs in the house since before I was born 76.

My neighbor had a cat when I was little, this cat was an out door cat and more often than not would lay out on our front steps. I tried to be nice to the cat but it only hissed arched it's back and ran away. I was scared of cats. In fact I felt the same way you do now about dogs. Then one of mom's friends was breeding cats and asked if we wanted a kitten. I was opposed but over 15 years later we have that cat 2 dogs and another cat. We are all happy too. We are just one big happy family.

I guess all I can say is give it a try with the dog. If nothing else try to compromise and let him have a dog but get a small one, one that won't take up your sofa. Most of all just love him/her and it will love you back.

*** Prior to getting one talk to apartment boss to be sure you can have a dog. And please if you get one love it and take care of it.

Good luck

A Dog/Cat lover :)

Answer 6

This is a tough one. First of all, if you live in an apartment, do NOT get a dog. It is not fair to the dog.

Secondly, you are right about having a dog being like having a child. Dogs require a lot more time and attention than cats.
They cannot be trained to use a litter pan so somebody has to take them outside to do their business (AND pick up the poop afterwards) even at 4 a.m. when it's bloody freezing or raining like a carwash. They need lots of miles of walking. At least if you have a house with a fenced garden or yard they can run around to burn off energy. When boyfriend isn't there, or he's sick or just too tired, guess who has the pleasure of "walking" the dog at midnight in a hailstorm?

Big dogs can be VERY expensive to feed (one of my friends owned a St Bernard and spent around $75 a week just on food) Cats are much less expensive. You can also go away for the weekend and leave the cat(s) alone without worry.
Dogs, especially large ones, need special arrangements made for their care - or else you have to make special arrangements to take them with you.

Like you, I prefer cats to dogs, partly because I have had some unpleasant experiences with large dogs, but also because of the large amount of work involved. My mother loved dogs and usually had several, but palmed off much of the walking, cleaning up, etc. to us kids.

I think you need to discuss all these details with your boyfriend. Also, you say he has had dogs around growing up and dreams of having dogs ... How much responsibility did he have for these dogs? If he had little or none, he may have a rose-tinted view of things. Talk about it in depth, don't just accede to his wishes if you are not really comfortable doing so.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I would stop being selfish and let him have a dog. Sorry I don't mean that in a cruel way. There is two in a relationship - the cats are probably more yours... so let him have his own pet!

Your view on dogs sounds extremely wrong. Yes, puppies are like having children. But once they grow up they are nothing like that! I have grown up around dogs too. If you don't want the hard work of having a puppy then get an older dog from a rescue centre. They aren't hard work at all once they are fully grown and trained. They can be left for hours if they are trained to do so and yes, they need walking but I'm sure you wouldn't have to do that - only your boyfriend.

I WOULD get a big dog. In my experience they are less work. I know that sounds odd but small dogs tend to bark a lot (my dalmatian never barks), smaller dogs can also be more snappy, and not get on with cats so well.

The only difference between them is dogs need their poop picking up and need walkies. Yes, they may also need a bit more attention but is that really a bad thing!?!

Have you ever had a dog? If not then this will explain why your feeling this way. Everyone I know wasn't sure about getting a dog at first but once they did they never regretted it! You can have a much closer relationship with a dog than a cat! We had our cat longer than the dogs and the cat wasn't as affectionate.

Answer 8

I can understand your dilemma, I love dogs but I wouldnt have another one because they need somebody to be at home most of the day as they get very upset without their owner being there. If one of you are home all day maybe you could get a small dog but as you say they are like having a child and you cant just up and leave when you want to! You both need to think about it very carefully and write down the pros and cons and also it depends on what your lifestyle is as to whether you have the time to give to looking after it properly.

Answer 9

I just got a new puppy and let me say.....they ARE almost as much work as a child! Cats are so independent and they dont need let out every two hours. Im sure he knows how difficult puppies are if he has had them but I would just make sure you have a big enough backyard when you move into a house, and make sure he is going to take care of it. If its outside alot, it wont be much of a hassle for you, as long as he does the feeding, cleaning, and walking. Just be sure he is going to do everything before saying yes.

Answer 10

Even though I have a cat now and play with her when I am free but to tell you the truth if you have a choice between a dog and a cat there is no comparison -- Dogs are the best !! They will be loyal to you and obey you unlike cats who are very selfish , stubborn , and do not obey you. Get a dog you will love him.. Pick Dale Carneigie book and you will know why dogs are the best !

Answer 11

Get a kitten and a puppy at the same time and let them grow up together and they will get along fine. I was brought up in the country and had many cats and dogs over the years without any problems. They are not natural enemies, they can be jealous as you will find when a new baby comes into the family.