how can i reassure him i'm not? he's very insecure and has bad trust issues. this is all because i havent slept with him in 3 days because i have had other things on my mind. is it right of him to accuse me of such things?
2007-07-04 23:50:13 · 29 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the reasons he thinks i'm cheating is because i said i was tired after work so didnt go the pub with him, but wanted the keys so i could go the shop (i live with him)... he thought i was going to see someone. then i go the pub to meet him to stop him complaining, a landlord i'm currently arranging renting from phones at 10pm, he thinks it's someone else.. he keeps trying to read my texts etc and because i havent slept with him in 3 days he thinks i dont like him anymore. i said to him 'of course i do' and asked him why we have to have sex everyday, he said we're a couple and thatwe're supposed to. but i think if you do it too much it just gets boring. also i think i may be pregnant, so thats playing around my mind, i've also just been laid off in my job so is it any wonder i dont want to have sex? he said he doesnt trust me but i cant bring myself to leave him :(
2007-07-05 00:03:21 · update #1
You are too mature for him. He has too many issues and in the end you will get fed up with his insecurities.
Think about this, turn the behaviour in the other direction. How would he feel if he were having some things happening and wasn't in the mood for sex and you started accusing him of "cheating". You are allowing him to control you and buying into his demented view of reality.
You have sex everyday because "that is what couples do"? Who says? Where is this written?
Live your life for you and stop listening to this guys nonsense.
I'm sorry to hear you think you may be pregnant. I would find out as soon as possible and start taking control of this situation because you are already dealing with a child with this guy and he is not going to be the support a woman needs when pregnant or with a real child.
Get out before it's too late and you lose yourself and the things that matter to you.
Good luck.
2007-07-05 00:41:54 · answer #1 · answered by KD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust issues are the worst... I can tell you because I have them myself. A lot of people think that sex is the thermometer of a relationship.... the more you have, the better the relationship is. I personally feel that is not true and that through intimacy one can tell it all.
If you are still preoccupied with things and don't feel like having sex make time to just hang out in an intimate way with him (watching a movie or cooking dinner in his house, walking, etc), tell him things like "i like being in your arms", "i like being alone with you", "you make me feel so comfortable"... things that will reinforce your that your feelings are not only physical.
But be careful... if you've been with this man for a while and he comes up with this theory all the time then he obviously have some inner issues to deal with. You can only show him so care that you care and if he doesn't trust that then there is nothing you can do and you have to move on.
2007-07-05 07:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by gserrado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds kinda obsessive to me and also is very immature this isn't the kinda guy you should be dating but if you want to continue with the guy. Tell him about what the things on your mind were he may have bad trust issues but from my point of view you didn't seem to trust him with what your thinking about or you would have told him. If you told him about it probably on the second day you probably wouldn't have this problem im not say it's your fault he really shouldn't jump to conclusions like this.
im not sure you can reassure him with words if he thinks you cheated on him because he doesn't trust you which is bad for any relationship. if someone could confirm where you were while you were with him you could have them talk to him.
My opinion and many others, you should break up, but it's your choice.
2007-07-05 07:07:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its difficult to reassure someone who wants to think the worst in the first instance. If your boyfriend confronts and accuse's you of such things its because he has something which he can't quite work out or is unsure off, its just manifesting in that way. It may even be something to do with himself.
Maybe you should be the one throwing questions back in his direction.
Good luck!
2007-07-05 06:58:30 · answer #4 · answered by D.W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he has serious security issues, and he doesn't sound very nice either. If this guy can't accept the fact that occasionally you need a rest, then he doesn't have much compassion for your feelings. Selfish and attention seeking are the words that spring to mind, and he won't change over time either. Seriously think about your life, and whether he can make you happy.
2007-07-05 08:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to him that you have had things on your mind. If this isn't good enough for him, and he's so insecure he is always accusing you of such things, I would tell him that THAT is becoming and issue and he needs to learn how to trust you. You trust him, right? If you can extend that to him, why can't he do it back? That doesn't seem fair to me.
2007-07-05 06:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right. He has trust issues, and trust issues don't go away. Reassuring won't help. He's saying he doesn't trust you. The question is, are you going to be OK with that for a long time?
2007-07-05 06:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Insanity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord girlfriend!-What does he expect it, every moment and every day and night from you? UNLESS that is what you like, and both mutually have been up to, that's a different story, but it just sounds to me like you don't need all the headaches you are headed for down the road. Ugghh...ANOTHER bad trust issued guy??? (pssssst.....unless he REALLY, REALLY, REALLY is worth it, GET OUT NOW-RUNNNNNNN!!!!-Trust me, been there myself, and I stayed with him, and spent my time trying to justify myself to him, WHILE "HE" WAS OUT BEING A DOG IN HEAT to any "girl who fell for his BS) Good luck to ya', you'll probably look back on this in a decade or two, happily married, with great SECURE SEX LIFE, an awesome hubby, and if you both want, GREAT kids too! (I hope anyway for you.)
2007-07-05 07:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When patterns change in a relationship, the partner's mind goes in so many directions. The key to a good relationship is to communicate. Share with you bf the things that are going on with you lately so he knows not to worry.
2007-07-05 06:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional Blackmail is a bad all over SEX, to be honest men always put their willy before anything, are you sure this is the man for u, accusing u of cheating !!!!! knock him on the head get rid off, find yourself a grown up,somebody who acts his age not his shoe size, don't give in to his threats because I can assure u that it will get worse,the man is a MINGER.
2007-07-05 07:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋