That would be a true sacrifice, to endure hours of agony shopping at the Mall...wouldn't it?
And what gift do you think he'd have bought to take home to God the Father, a tee shirt perhaps with Jesus Loves You printed on the front?
2007-07-04 22:42:13 · 10 answers · asked by CHEESUS GROYST 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
In Christ: Let's make a deal..you stop making ridiculous comments like the one you posted here and then I will stop ...deal or no deal?
2007-07-04 22:51:09 · update #1
Answer Faerie: You are my kind of girl!
2007-07-04 22:58:00 · update #2
Abbassangel: You say you hate shopping and I bet you hate reading anything but the Bible too don't you?
2007-07-04 23:12:49 · update #3
actually, the whole thing is a mistranslation, he just changed his hair color.
Jesus dyed for your sins.
preemptory advice for the twisted knickers set: oh, lighten up.
2007-07-04 22:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by answer faerie, V.T., A. M. 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
He will go to the canned section to look for the famous sin of big bang. He took it all by himself to the counter although it was huge and heavy dropping it a few times but persistently held on with much strain and sweat. Paid for the canned of big bang sin with his blood. Took back the soul of big bang to heaven as a gift to his Heavenly Father. All were happy and joyous and sing praises give glory and honour to Jesus. And the Heavenly Father said , Well done my son, Jesus Christ, all that I gave to you and none is lost. Come sit beside me.
2007-07-05 06:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kingdomchild07 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I like you your funny, however it won't work it had to be death, that's the great thing about a book than spans about 4000years lots of details about how sin is abolished/ removed/ forgiven - dealt with...
I do hate shopping - I know I am girl what I am talking about... I sympathise but it does not remove sin...
Oooh I do like the T-Shirt idea although that's a pretty lame gift... I like salvation...
2007-07-05 05:54:27 · answer #3 · answered by Abbasangel 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yeah. Instead of being hung up on a cross he'd have to hang out at Starbucks all day
2007-07-05 06:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There would be and is no more pain then have every ones sin be put on your back and you having to Carry them besides being away From God
2007-07-05 05:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
And then he'd suffer anew when the credit card bills arrived.... :-)
2007-07-05 09:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What kind of Mall do you have?
2007-07-05 06:02:44 · answer #7 · answered by Si semut 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...and churches would collect little wooden crosses instead of money.
2007-07-05 05:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by Always Curious 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Please do not make such ridiculous comments on Jesus' crucification.Jesus Loves you and He died for U.
2007-07-05 05:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by In Christ 2 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Falsification test of crucifixion: Can falsification test of crucifixion perishes the falsehood of crucifixion?
1. JESUS WAS RELUCTANT TO DIE!
He had worked out a strategy of defence to repel the Jews. Because he wanted to remain ALIVE!
2. HE BESEECHED GOD FOR HELP.
With strong crying and tears for God Almighty to keep him ALIVE!
3. GOD "HEARD" HIS PRAYERS
Which means that God accepted his prayers to keep him ALIVE!
4. AN ANGEL OF GOD CAME TO STRENGTHEN HIM:
In the hope and belief that God will save him ALIVE!
5. PILATE FINDS JESUS NOT GUILTY!
Good reason to keep Jesus ALIVE!
6. PILATES WIFE SHOWN A DREAM IN WHICH SHE WAS TOLD THAT —
"No harm should come to this just man." In other words that he should be saved ALIVE!
7. SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE CROSS FOR ONLY THREE HOURS.
According to the system in vogue, no man could die by crucifixion in so short a time which means that even if he was fastened to the cross — he was ALIVE!
8- THE OTHER TWO — HIS "CROSSMATES" ON THEIR RESPECTIVE CROSSES WERE ALIVE.
So Jesus too, for the same period of time must be ALIVE!
9. ENCYCLOPEDIA BIBLICA UNDER ARTICLE "CROSS" — COLUMN 960 says:
"When the spear was thrust — Jesus was ALIVE! "
10. "FORTHWITH" CAME THERE OUT BLOOD AND WATER:
"Forthwith" means straightaway, immediately which was a sure sign that Jesus was ALIVE!
11. LEGS NOT BROKEN — AS A FULFILMENT OF PROPHECY.
"Legs" can be of any use only if Jesus was ALIVE!
12. THUNDERSTORM, EARTHQUAKE, AND DARKENING OF THE SUN ALL WITHIN 3 HOURS!
To disperse the sadistic mob to enable his "secret disciples" to help, keep him ALIVE!
13. JEWS DOUBTED HIS DEATH:
They suspected that he had escaped death on the cross — that he was ALIVE!
14. PILATE "MARVELS" TO HEAR THAT JESUS WAS DEAD. He knew from experience that no man can die so soon by crucifixion. He suspected that Jesus was ALIVE!
15. BIG ROOMY CHAMBER: Close at hand, and big and airy for willing hands to come to the rescue. Providence was out to keep Jesus ALIVE!
16. STONE AND "WINDING SHEETS" HAD TO BE REMOVED: Only necessary if Jesus was ALIVE!
17. REPORT ON WINDING SHEETS. German Scientists who carried out experiments on the "Shroud of Turin" said that the heart of Jesus had not stopped functioning — that he was ALIVE!
18. EVER IN DISGUISE! Disguise not necessary if Jesus was "resurrected". Only necessary if he was ALIVE!
19. FORBADE MARY MACDALENE TO TOUCH HIM "Touch me not" for this reason that it would hurt; because he was ALIVE!
20. "NOT YET ASCENDED UNTO MY FATHER" In the language of the Jews, in the idiom of the Jews, he was saying, "I am not dead yet", in other words, "I am ALIVE!"
21. MARY MAGDALENE NOT AFRAID ON RECOGNISING JESUS. Because she had seen signs of life before. She was looking for a Jesus who was ALIVE!
22. DISCIPLES PETRIFIED ON SEEING JESUS IN THE UPPER-ROOM. All their knowledge about the "crucifixion" was from hearsay, therefore, they could not believe that Jesus was ALIVE!
23. ATE FOOD AGAIN AND AGAIN IN HIS POST 'CRUCIFIXION" APPEARANCES. Food only necessary if he was ALIVE!
24. NEVER SHOWED HIMSELF TO HIS ENEMIES. Because he had escaped death by the "skin of his teeth". He was ALIVE!
25. TOOK ONLY SHORT TRIPS. Because he was not resurrected, not spiritualised, but ALIVE!
26. TESTIMONY OF MEN AROUND THE TOMB: "Why seek ye the living among the dead?" — (Luke 24:4-5): That he is not dead, but ALIVE!
27. TESTIMONY OF ANGELS: ". . . angels who had said that he was ALIVE!" — Luke 24:23. Did not say, "resurrected" but the actual word uttered by the angels was "ALIVE!"
28. MARY MAGDALENE TESTIFIES — ". . . they heard that he was ALIVE, and had been seen by her, they believed not." — (Mark 16.-11):
Mary did not vouch for a spook, or ghost or spirit of Jesus but a LIVE Jesus. What they could not believe was that the Master was ALIVE!
29. DR. PRIMROSE TESTIFIES: That the "water and the blood", when Jesus was lanced on the side, was on account of an upset in the nervous vessels because of the scourging by staves. Which was a sure sign that Jesus was ALIVE!
30. JESUS HAD HIMSELF FORETOLD THAT HIS MIRACLE WILL BE THE MIRACLE OF JONAH!
According to the Book of Jonah, Jonah was ALIVE, when we expected him to be DEAD;
similarly when we expect Jesus to be DEAD, he should be ALIVE AND NOT CRUCIFIED.
Qur’an 4:157: "That they (Jews) said boasting, "We killed Christ Jesus, the son of Mary, the Messenger of Allah, but they (Jews) killed him not, nor crucified him..."
2007-07-05 05:45:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 7⤋